I am Captain Vigilant from the Righteous Freedom Squad! And you are attempting to illegally enter this Great Nation of mine!
Si. I need to work to support my 13 children. Immigrant labor is vital to your economy. We do the jobs you Americans feel are beneath them for less wages than what you would make.
I sympathize with you, fellow human! You must love your children very much to risk death for them!
Let my Eye Beams be a shining beacon of Freedom for all the world to see! Our borders are secure for another day! Time for some celebratory tacos!
