Mouse

Dr. Mouse! Dr. Mouse! The patient in room 302 is bleeding through all natural openings in his body simultaneously!

Could be Holstein´s Disease if the patient has accidentally and unwittingly swallowed a cow´s head with the horns still attached, now ripping the body apart from the inside. Leads to a painful death

Could be Morbus Cucaracha if the patient´s blood vessels have been infested by mexican cockroaches blogging the circulation and causing irregular blood eruptions. Leads to an extremely painful death.

What do we do to find out? A full body scan? Extraction of blood samples?

Too expensive, time consuming and boring. We´ll just wait and see if he dies a painful death or an extremely painful death. Then we´ll know. Also there´s higher entertainment value in that method.