I know I can't be there for your birthday darling, so I did the next best thing - I added you to Stone Cold Creamery's mailing list so you'll get free ice cream on your special day!
OK, one, I'm lactose intolerant, and two, I'm going to get spam for the rest of the year. Why did you think this would be a good birthday present?
I got the idea from my husband's stepbrother, while we were having sex with his sister.
OK, that is at least three pieces of information I would have liked before we started this whole "long distance" thing.
But you still love me, right?
WHEN IN THIS ENTIRE HOUR THAT WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER HAVE I EVER SAID I LOVED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
