Before we get started, I am required by law to tell you that I'm a registered sex offender, which is stupid because both of the Boy Scouts involved were consenting.
It's yet another blatant case of government overreach, just like the time they violated my rights by breaking my toilet cameras at the daycare. Unacceptable!
It's like I told my pal Adolf at that NAMBLA meeting, "If Uncle Sam minded its own damn business, Uncle Chester wouldn't need to make little boys eat so much NyQuil."
That's why, with the help of all you fine folks at this orgy, I'm running for president. Any questions?
Obama's done some good things for the economy, but the work is far from over. What are your plans for continuing that success?
