Getting their acts together

Being a film critic extraordinaire, I make an annual comic or two to celebrate the Academy Awards. I forgot to do it this year, though.

Getting their acts together

by andydougan
3-21-02

Russell Crowe, quietly confident Oscar nominee, and Nicole Kidman, his mistress


	Nary three days to go! I must remember to wax my biceps for the acceptance speech.


	I've not been on TV enough lately. Should we just pet a little at the ceremony, or would_full_penetration be more newsworthy?

Denzel Washington, hard person from Harlem, and Ethan Hawke, non-entity


	Ey yo! Bitch! Ass! G! BOOM! ...Oh, it's no good, this just isn't me. I want to play solicitors again.


	Er. Hello. I'm Ethan Hawke. I'm not going to win.

The Academy


	Hey, how about "Gosford Park" for Best Picture?


	Ha ha ha! Shh, c'mon, we have to get this done!

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Getting their acts together