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| I'm Max Showalter, and I played "The President's Advisor." | |
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| I'm Brad Schwartz, and I played "The President." | |
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| I'm PFC Douglas H. "Doug" Crenshaw, and I played "The Soldier." | |
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| I'm Mrs. Opal Hudson, and I played "Old Woman Watching Television." | |
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| I'm Skip Thompson, and I played "Terrified Bystander #1." | |
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| I'm Taquito, the Infallible Gaydar Matador, and I played "Terrified Bystander #2." | |
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