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| ...in entertainment news, famous hunk Biff "Two-Bags" McGurk has just been signed to take over the role of James Bond. | |
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| "Bond...James 'Two-Bags' Bond." | |
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| While in other news, Debbie "The Human Colostomy Bag" Schwartz has once again been named "Most Revolting Circus Geek of the Year." | |
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| "Whoops, I'm full again! Better empty myself! BLEECCHH!" | |
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| Your mother and I are proud of you, son. We're both getting colostomy bags. | |
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| Sally and I are getting married, Dad. If it's okay, we'd like to live in the basement. | |
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