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| My, what a wonderful personal appearance that was! This time they all came to see ME, Captain Chip, instead of that awful "Captain Wanker"! | |
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| Excuse me -- Captain Chip? | |
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| Why, yes! Did you miss out on the autograph signing? I'd be happy to -- | |
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| OH, CAPTAIN WANKER! MY LOVE FOR YOU IS AN ALL-CONSUMING FLAME! I WANT YOU! I NEED YOU! I MUST HAVE YOU! | |
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| Now look -- I only did those awful "Captain Wanker" movies because I needed the money for a hernia operation, and -- | |
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| SHUT UP! Make Captain Chip go away and let CAPTAIN WANKER come out! I know he's trapped in there somewhere, BITCH! | |
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