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| So in this bass-ackwards world where I am sober all of the time, people's lives are better? | |
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| Lindsay Lohan and Winona Ryder actually give stuff to others instead of taking it from stores and Kirstie Alley does not have a problem with Ding Dongs? | |
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| Yep. And there is one guy in particular who is extremely grateful for this. | |
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| This is Mr. Snugglesworth. Thanks to your not doing drugs and whores, he never had to see the inside of Richard Gere's ass. | |
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| I know you not, sir, but I will name my children after you for the suffering you have avoided me. | |
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