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| Greetings Mr. Schweitzer. It is I, your alca-fairy! I have decidied that you have spent one too many nights drunk in a public restroom wondering where your pants are. | |
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| Look, I don't give a rat's ass who you are. I don't have a problem drinking or a drinking problem, so buzz off! | |
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| If you don't change your ways, I'm afraid I will have no other choice than to haunt you endlessly until you give up the bottle. | |
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| Fine. If it gets you off my back, I'll find a better use for the damn bottle. | |
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| Hey! Making a ship in a bottle and stuffing me in here with it was not what I meant! | |
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