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| Happy birthday! I got you a penis pump. | |
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| Why would you do that? You just wasted your money. | |
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| Not really. There's a money back guarantee. | |
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| How am I gonna prove it doesn't work? Make before and after videos of me using it? And whose job is it to watch all of those submitted videos? | |
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| Guy choking himself while using it. Guy with it up his ass. Guy with it up his dog's ass. Dear god, why did I ever major in philosophy? | |
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