Hello, I am a bottle of Bloody Mary mix. If you have some time, I'd like to tell you about the worst day of my life. It began on a transcontinental flight...
This is your captain speaking. We have reached cruising altitude. In a few moments, the flight attendants will begin beverage service.
Suddenly, heavy turbulence began rocking me...
... and then some invisible bozo drank me. Surprisingly, I was no longer visible either.