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| Good Evening America. I'm Dan Rather and I'm sadly announcing my retirement. | |
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| It has nothing to do with that idiot chimpanzee gaining the presidency for another 4 years ... and my failed attempt to dethrown him. | |
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| It was that dead hooker that did it. Yep. No doubt about it. Dan Rather fucks dead hookers ... Yeah I said! What are you going to do? Fire me. Hah! | |
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