Twi-tard Series

I grew up in Forks, Washington, before there were ever any sparkly vampires prancing about glitteringly. So I feel perfectly entitled to make fun of the Twilight book series by Stephenie Meyers. I do love the books but I do also love laughing about some of the themes therein.

Twi-tards, Part 12

by lulz
8-24-09


	No, that's okay, I do not require sustenance, and my mortal love will be back from the restroom hencewith.


	Oh, but sir, you haven't touched your water! Let me pour you some coffee, or offer you some cake, or...


	No, really, it's okay, I'm on a really restricted diet. No, no thank you. No. You are too kind, but I must decline.


	Breakfast? Something from our appetizer menu? A glass of wine? Dessert?

20 minutes later, the overly-helpful waitress was still at it.


	Where the hell is Bella...?


	Come on, sir, order something so that I may slip you my number on a piece of paper. I mean, supply you a napkin.

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Twi-tard Series