Uncle has got a hankerin' to do some good in the world using nothing but folksy wisdom, years of hard earned life experience and his left typing hand (the right one is otherwise ocupado).
The point is to really help those lonely pathetic types that frequent these kind of cry for help forums.--Hence, I am fully engorged to announce my deep pulsating entry into the world of unwanted advice columns for big babies and the mentally incompetent!
Of course, you've heard of such advice givers as that ancient, useless, meddlesome hag Dear Abbey (is that crone dead yet?)... and also that one angry gay guy who insults people about their sex lives--but now your Uncle is throwing his pork pie hat into the ring and offering his all night services!--ladies welcome, gentlemen have to sneak around back.
Do you have questions about relationships, sexing, cooking with dutch ovens, woman time menses, squirrel de-meating, and or how to pleasure yourself jail style with a bag of Jello, etc...I can help! Drop me a line. Uncle knows best, don't you dare tell anyone what goes on here--you're Mommy would just be mad at you. It'll be our special secret.
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Have you ever noticed how Massachusetts looks like a drunk Possum passed out against a dumpster?