I really can't believe I won.

Okay, here are the new rules:

1)Jesus must be the main character.
2)No inside jokes slamming other authors. I haven't been around long enough to fully appreciate them.
3)Use of either Cthulhu, Satan, or Death is recommended, but not necessary.

There's no need to get complicated. Simple humor is almost always best. I forget who it was who wrote one of my favorite strips... but it's two Jesuses (jesi?) facing each other in silence for 2 panels, and then one says "I spy with my little eye something that-" and the other says "Cross." It made me laugh so forcefully that I had to clean little rainbows off my monitor.

Judging will be uh... some time after 7pm CDT on Wednesday 5/30/01.

So there you go. Have at it!

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

[Click to view comic: 'If I ever lose my faith in you']

[Click to view comic: 'CC32: Too bad it wasn't Deliverance']

I love this comic, so going by DexX's law, I'm royally fucked.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

[Click to view comic: 'I left the profanity in because I could! muahahahahahahahaha']
I think this one is pretty weak, and all, but I have to do something, right?

Well, here's my entry. I was tempted to just use some old jesus comic I'd already written, as I'm sure we all have a few laying around. But, I thought I'd go ahead and write something more specifically to this contest.

And, seeing as how there is basically only one rule, I went ahead and broke it.

[Click to view comic: 'CC 32 -- Find the Jesus']

Cute.

Not a winner, but cute.

:D

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Damn. I'm in a slump...

[Click to view comic: 'CC32: Around the holy water cooler...']

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Oops. CC 32.
[ Posted comic does not exist ]

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

because I'm lazy, and my boss is roaming around...

[Click to view comic: 'Turnabout is fair...HEY!']

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

or...
[Click to view comic: 'Back to the 80's']

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

[Click to view comic: 'world's worst']

Oh, like I wasted any fucking time putting this old thing up.

quote:

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2)No inside jokes slamming other authors. I haven't been around long enough to fully appreciate them.

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Actually, I slipped and got my dick caught in the canyon.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I, also being lazy and at work, am also going to recycle an old one. And I'm going to make sure it's not funny, just for spite.

[Click to view comic: 'Jim Gets Shown Up']

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"Old" is the old new.

That sounds like a line out of an X-rated Paul Bunyan tale.

'One day ol' Paul was gettin' a mite horny. Seeing as how his mighty schlong would tear a normal woman to pieces, he figured he was gonna have to flog the ol' fir tree again.

But it just so happened that he and Babe (who was actually startin' to look pretty good) had camped near what we now call the Grand Canyon. Just as Paul was settin' back against a cliff gettin' ready to pull out his giant bottle of Jergen's lotion, he spied the canyon off in the distance. And damned if it didn't look like the biggest pussy he'd ever seen!

So he ran on over and didn't waste a minute dropping his drawers and jammin' his manhood and into the giant crack in the earth.'

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

[Click to view comic: 'CC 32 - What the hell?']

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

[Click to view comic: 'Jesus Smites Nuts']
Uh, yeah.

Or...
[Click to view comic: 'Jesus loves dumbasses.']
Because all the best things in life involve Jesus. *gag*

Hmmm....

[Click to view comic: 'Rub Me the Wrong Way']

(BTW, this isn't my entry)

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Speculating or copyrighting?

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

[Click to view comic: 'Shake it sugar']

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

I don't see why. Maybe for the overall contest, but not for this round. This, I have decreed.

Spam the board with enough dumbass entries, however, and I'll ignore the rest you submit.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

[Click to view comic: 'The man that keeps SWEB going']

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

my 3rd and final contribution unless i choose to do another

[Click to view comic: 'Old habits die hard']

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

Speculating or copyrighting?

Hmmm....

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.