Zombie X: Helping Others by Screendummie 6-20-05

Now young man, why do you want to be a Clinton? *Meow* Now...um...you undocumented alien, why do you want to be a Clinton? Take me to your BigMacs. And why do you want to be Clinton? By the way, what happened to the normal contestant? I have this idea about helping...helping my self to people's brains. Um...the other guy...he had to go out for some smokes.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: During the First Commercial Break by Screendummie 6-21-05

*purr* You will take me to your leader! Worthless earth scum. You don't happen to know where you leader is at? Yeah...he's probably out somewhere playing with his toy vacuum popper thingy.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: A Pair of Socks by Screendummie 6-22-05

Where did everyone go? The orange furry thing got zapped. And the green dude took off with the corpse as a trophy. Aw man, the same thing happened to Socks. Aliens went after your socks like Al Bundy's? Huck, huck, huck. You're kinda funny. You'd be the first.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: A Wiener as Always by Screendummie 6-23-05

Since you're the only contestant who isn't dead or gone, you're the winner. Yay! I'm a wiener! Huck huck huck, to funny. I wish I had you on my staff or on my cabinet. Oh, I would've never done it. That screechy banishee that haunted the White House when you were there scares me. Yeah, my wife kinda scares me too. You mean she's actually human?

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: All Contests Receive... by Screendummie 6-25-05

Damn. This is all I get for winning? What I'm I gonna do with you? Oh? You're hungry little fella? Yeah, I'm kinda hungry too. Hey, I have some stew cookin'. Want to try out my new specialty?

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Brand Spanking New Monkey by Screendummie 6-26-05

Hey, nice finding you here. I need a new chimp. What happened to it? It...um...ran away. Huck huck huck. You ate your monkey. Wait, why are you here? Its the only place I can hide from Hillary.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Hussy by Screendummie 6-28-05

I heard about your new friend. Oh, Bill? Yeah, he's cool. And you were on his show! You hussy! Hussy? I was on his reality show that lasted a day because everyone died. And he commits unnatural acts with wildebeets! Oh, you're talking about his fling with Monica?

#

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: He Really Didn't Have Sex with that Woman, Monica by Screendummie 6-29-05

Listen, the guy can't even be faith with his life partner. You know he's married to woman, I think? Still! He cheats on her. What kind of marriage is that? Politics buddy. And your new friend Bill can't even admit that he had sex with her. Hey! It was sodomy, not sex!

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Imma Painter by Screendummie 7-02-05

Well, I brought the painter'ss tape. That's it? Yeah. I figured that bringing painter's tape makes me a painter. What the fuck? You actually have to commit to actually fucking painting to be called a painter. Oh, then. Fuck that. Why do you still fucking come here?

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Happy 4th of July by Screendummie 7-04-05

Happy Fourth of July! The land of the free! And home of the chili dog! Dammit! You're line was : And the home of the brave. I say any man who's willing enough to use the b-room after your chili dog cravings is a brave man.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: War of the Unbelievable Worlds by Screendummie 7-05-05

Jeez, I never knew "War of the Worlds" could be so sappy. Whats sappy about it? I mean Tom Cruise was inside an alien anus. Yeah, I know you want him in your anus, but that's besides the point. How tragic. What's sappy then? I mean Tom's son managed to survive the death ray and magically made it back to Boston. Yeah, I was kinda hoping that the bratty daughter would've been eaten by the anus too.

I don't give a fuck about spoilers.

--S. Dummie

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: A Man From Hope by Screendummie 7-06-05

You again! Yeah, its me, Bill Clinton. You're the one trying to steal my friend! Steal? Huck huck huck. He is a funny guy. You don't belong here! Go back to where you belong! Listen, man. I'm just a guy from Hope.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Jealousy is a Bitch by Screendummie 7-06-05

I heard you had a run in with my buddy. Yeah, I think he's jealous. What's there to be jealous about? How would I know. By the way, can you do be a favor and eat Dubba U's brain. Why would I do that? I'd starve. Huck huck huck.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Some Countries Are Repeat Customers by Screendummie 7-08-05

Since we're talking about favors, I'd like you to do one for me. Shoot. I'd like you to nuke Japan. But we already did that. Yeah, but they deserve it for all their shitty Japanimation bullshit they continue to make even after the apocolypse. Sure. I'll talk to my pal Jevus.

Japan deserves a nuking immediately. Help end their shitty cartoons. That's right they're fucking cartoons.
And anyone who argues the "fact" that its part of their "culture" is an asshole. Along with everything that I culturally hate about them. Mostly their hentai, techno music and cars.

--S. Dummie

(Except some of their videogames. That should be allowed to survive.)

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Tech-NO! by Screendummie 7-11-05

God, I love techno. What's amazing about a three second song replayed over and over for like three minutes? But love a good re-mixe. Yeah, its most awsome that a DJ can remix a whole three seconds. But... And no, girls would never dance with you as you do the robot.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Jim Varney Is My Hero by Screendummie 7-13-05

God Jim Varney is my hero! Like the time he went to jail and lightening bolts shot out of his fingers. And the time where he smoked alot of cigs and died horribly of lung cancer. Yeah, "Ernest Goes to the Morgue" was my favorite.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: For the Last Time, Queen is Not Gay! by Screendummie 7-14-05

I never new Queen was gay. No. Queen wasn't. Then why do people keep telling me that? What people? People hate you. It was FREDDIE MERCURY that was gay. Who the heck is Freddie Mercury? Is that the car company? Yeah, that's it. All Mercury dealerships are named after Freddie.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Odor-Eaters the Fresher Maker by Screendummie 7-16-05

I've noticed I haven't been smelling as rancid as usual. Maybe its cause I stuck some Odor-Eaters in your shoes. When the fuck you did that? You know the last time the pizza guy came by? Yeah, he rang your doorbell, and I jumped on his brains. During that time period, I managed to staple gun them to your shoes, legs, ass and back of your head.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Liquid Hot Magna by Screendummie 7-17-05

I liked that one line from Austin Powers: Liquid hot magna. God, why do you insist talking to me? You don't think that's funny? Why, yes, it is. Especially when the tenticle monster rapes the girl. I don't think we're talking about things. We're talking magna aren't we? So lets get you a raging, half-demon, shemale to rape you.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Who's Going To Ozzfest? by Screendummie 7-19-05

How much do you need for Ozzfest again? You don't have to worry about that. Oh really? You came up with enough dough for tickets? Shit yeah. Pit and backstage passes. And a limo for my ho's. Now let me assume which felonies you committed to get them. You mean the potential felonies of the chester that I blackmailed?

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Go See "The Devil's Rejects" by Screendummie 7-21-05

Wanna see a movie with me? Really? Someone as cool as you wants me to hang out with him? Not really. I just think it can be really educational. What's educational about this movie? Oh, I just want to be educated in seeing when the innocent snap at seeing a disembowelment. But will there be other cool kids there too?

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Santa is an Evil Bastard by Screendummie 7-23-05

What a great place for a new shop. What's this? One of the locals? Ho ho ho! What are you doing here little girl? I live here strange mister. Looking for food, for we are starving. Ho ho ho! You would be perfect for Santa's new sweatshop! Food...please, Santa.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: The Only Catholic Priest in Heaven by Screendummie 7-24-05

Is it true you're the last unsued priest in the world? Yes, my son. I take my vows seriously. Even if two really hot lesbians wrestling in gravy and they asked you to join, you'd still be celebate? Oh, very much so, my son. What in the world would you do then? Slap those lesbians between two biscuits and soak every drop of gravy as I devour them.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: World Jewish Conspiracies by Screendummie 7-26-05

This is my report on the Hebrew faith. Jews have been accused of being bomb throwing Commie anarchists. And yet aslo at the same time, greedy Capitalist running dogs that own all financing and corporations. To be blamed everything from droughts to you stepping into dog shit by anti-Semites. So in conclusion about Judism. You're damned if you aren't and you're damned if you aren't.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Monkey by Screendummie 7-27-05

Look its a monkey! ... Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! ??? Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! I love monkies too.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe