Too Much TV

OUCH! Son of a... Pretty cool, huh? I saw Renee Walker do it on "24" a while back!

by ragu4u, 2-04-10

What If Howard Stern.... by ragu4u 2-05-10

...judged "American Idol"? Hey babe, nice knockers. You sing like shit but those knockers are first rate. So am I going to Hollywood? Could be, but I need to feel those knockers first. Or maybe you have a sex tape I can watch? What about my vocal chords? Pretty good, don't you think? I'm gonna need to check em with my "Vocal Chord Dipstick". Open wide. How come that spoon playing guy didn't have to do anything special?

TheGovernor

OOOOOOOOOOOOPPSSSSS

When the Races Mix by ragu4u 2-05-10

I knew I never should have married an Oriental. All you want to do is dominate me. Wife must show respect at all times. I'm always the one who has to sacrifice. Why doesn't your Budhist butt try a little self sacrificing? You want me saclifice? I thought that gas was for the mower? Ooh, me so saclifice. Me singe you long time.

Raising a Stink! by ragu4u 2-06-10

Father, you better stop farting in church. You'll get arrested. Don't be silly. It's no crime if I pass a little gas during service now & then. I think The FBI would consider it to be a definite weapon of Mass disruption. Oh ...yeah...like you don't fart on occassion in "Naked Wrestling" class.

The Codfather by ragu4u 2-06-10

Lets' play Charades. Alright. Let me get into character. A moment later.... Luca Brasi? I hate you!

Truth Be Told by ragu4u 2-06-10

Wow, these "Beggin Strips" taste pretty darn good. Say wha...? Hey, do I go around eating the food off your plate? On second thought, nevermind.

Dr. Feelgood by ragu4u 2-06-10

I'm so good looking that women everywhere want me. I'm nothing like this poor slug coming toward me. Do you know me? Sure you do. I'm Brad Pitt and I get 100 times more pussy than you. By the way...what DO you do? I work with an O.B.G.Y.N. ... Oh. Well then...I get more ass than you do. ...and a proctologist, too.

The Winds of Change by ragu4u 2-07-10

Should I have them break out the snow shovels, Mr. President? Don't be silly, Rahm. Global warming will melt this in no time. One Week Later... It's gotten colder, Mr President. I see that. We must take drastic measures. A speech from Al Gore, sir? And right away, Rahm. That'll produce enough hot air to melt an iceberg.

Last Ditch Efforts by ragu4u 2-07-10

Why are they delivering all these TV's here in Haiti? Today is Super Bowl Sunday, stupid. These folks don't care about THAT. The men do. Well what good do the women get out of it? Supposedly, the rapes will drop considerably from the pre-game shows to the final whistle..

If They Could Do It All Again... by ragu4u 2-07-10

Ya know, Oracle, I'm sick of living in this Matrix. Now, now Morpheus. Be patient. The "ONE" is bound to come. That's what you said bout the chick wit them tight plastic pants and that dopey kid in the trenchcoat. I was baking cookies that day. So I fucked up. So sue me. Kinda makes ya sorry ya took the red pill, don't it? To hell with the red pill. What I really need is a good laxative.

Yum.Yum. Eat em Up! by ragu4u 2-07-10

Table for one, sir? Yes, but do you serve organic food here? Why yes. Please follow me to the "Special" dining area. Of course. Mmmmm. Nothing like the smell of a fresh organic meal. Here, sir, a bowl is the preferred serving size.

Half Time at the Super Bowl

"He sure plays a mean pin-ball..." God...do they SUCK or what?

by ragu4u, 2-07-10

No Clue

What did you think of the ads during the big game? I think Brett Farve looks lucious for being 50.

by ragu4u, 2-08-10

Caught in the Act by ragu4u 2-08-10

"I'm lookin like a fool wit my pants on de ground..." "...got my hat to de back and my pants on de ground..." "I'm lookin like a fool wit ....oops!" You know this place DOES have a door that locks, right?

An A-Peeling Offer by ragu4u 2-09-10

Help! We're being hijacked by pirates. I better run & get the Coast Guard! Or you could just stay here with the lifetime supply of bananas I'll give you. I hate being so, obviously, easy.

Life As A "Disney" Kid by ragu4u 2-09-10

On the Studio Lot........ Hi there. Hi. Alone? Yeah. How bout a freebie for old time sake? I told you before, when I started my new series I quit trickin. So buzz off.

At The Comedy Club by ragu4u 2-10-10

Good evening everybody. You know I do impressions so can I get a volunteer? Right here. I'll bet you can't do me. Come on up here and let's just see. How's this? Now you're just mocking me!

Private School Reject by ragu4u 2-10-10

...but I brought it in for show and tell. You just can't bring that kind of thing to a, predominantly, black school. Alright, alright. I'll put it back in our yard. See that you do. I don't get it. It's not like I brought in our black "Lawn Jockey".

Small Talk of the Stars by ragu4u 2-11-10

Abe, ya know Alec Baldwin tried to off himself with pills last night? By the way, nice Super Bowl ad. Tried! That's the key word, Brad. TRIED! That abused daughter of his called it in. It goes to prove what I've always said, Brad. And what's that, Abe. That fucking Mick can't kill himself any better than he can act. Oh, by the way, I got a B.J. off of Betty White.

The People Have Spoken by ragu4u 2-11-10

So Bill Clinton & Capt. Phil from "Deadliest Catch" both had heart attacks. Are they OK? Sorry to say it, but one of them died. Which one? The Nation's heart is broken, lady....so YOU tell ME! More importantly....who gets "The Cornelia Marie" now that Capt. Phil is gone?

The Land Lubber by ragu4u 2-12-10

I've got a problem down the hall in the laundry room. Can you help? Uh...the laundry room? Maybe I better go look. I can't get this dryer door to open? I'll bet you're from Arizona, aren't you?

"Winter Olympics"...R.I.P. Nodar by ragu4u 2-12-10

I can't let you on the Luge track, Nodar. It's too fast. Too fast? Ha! No Luge track is too fast for me. I'm telling ya it can get ya going up to 90 mph. One Hour Later... I guess he was right. It's not that the track was too fast. It was that the support beams were too close together.

Ben Is Really "Tuned In" by ragu4u 2-13-10

Earlier today, a man smashed 29 Flat Screen TV's in a rampage at Wal-Mart. Serves them skinny fuckers right!! You say somethin?

Overbooked by ragu4u 2-13-10

What are you doing here like that? Father Joe told me to meet him here for my weekly cleansing. I cannot believe that man has been doing that kind of thing to you. Why not? Because he told me he only does that here with ME! That cheating S.O.B. I'm going back to Father Mike "soft hands" McBride.