HotForTurds by ragu4u 3-16-10

Hello my students. Today I will investigate the meaning of the term..."Shitbum". Say, are you Marina...that "HotForWords" chick off You Tube? Why yes. Do you subscribe to my channel? No way, you commy bitch. "Here we have, my students, the perfect example of a "Shitbum". I'll show my breasts in a sec.

The Rendezvous

Will this be incest? It will be if we do it right.

by ragu4u, 3-16-10

Labor Pains by ragu4u 3-17-10

This 3-D TV is broke. I'm taking it back. Wait! Not so fast. What you need is to have a 3-D electrical outlet installed. No wonder. How could I be so stupid. I'll call to have one put in right away. Brought to you by the I.B.E.W. The International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers. It's gonna cost me HOW much???

Obama Interviewed on FNC by ragu4u 3-17-10

Wolf Blitzer Watching FNC Oh my god! Bret Beir has Obama in a headlock. Don't be messin wit me, Bret. I knows Dog the Bounty Hunter. Now he's flapping the president's ears back & forth and giving him a dutch rub. C'mon Mr. President, cough up that birth certificate or I'll stick velcro to your head, then tear it off. He's got one Bret. He showed it to me but it's printed in Swahili.

Pale in Comparison by ragu4u 3-18-10

Attention Wal-Mart shoppers. ALL people of ANY color, please leave the store. Damn man. This is bullshit. I so humiliated. Let sue these sons of bitches. Let's move it you people. I got lots o shoppin to do.

Just A Heartbeat Away ... by ragu4u 3-18-10

Biden did it again, sir. His mouth wrote a check his ass couldn't cash, right? Not in those exact words, but yes. He consoled an Ambassador on the death of the Ambassador's mother. What could possibly be wrong with THAT? She wasn't dead yet! Ooh, poor timing. His bad!

Just Here For A Visit

Why do earth women strive for huge buttocks? Been chillin in the ghetto again, huh?

by ragu4u, 3-19-10

Brains vs. Brawn by ragu4u 3-19-10

Do you really think I fear that Ninja crap? Fear is the lack of bodily essence misdirected to spiritorial vibrations. Huh? You brain has already begun to shut down from the fear I have inflicted upon you, thusfar. Sounds to me like somebody needs a hug. Eghad...the dreaded "FEAR Ricochet". Well played, my advisary. Well played.

The Language of Love by ragu4u 3-20-10

What I want are twins sisters who are willing to "tag team" in my hotel room! Get it? No problem, my brutha man. That'll be $250.00 for each lady. I should have made myself more clear.

Cheapskate Date by ragu4u 3-20-10

I still can't believe you stood up Kirstie Alley and brought ME here, instead. The decision was easy.... ...once I found out this joint was an "ala carte" buffet.

For You Folks in South Philly by ragu4u 3-21-10

"Catch & Wreck" Wha's up? Meet me at 69th & Grover Ave. , OK? That's it! Fuck her up good! How'd I do? The homeless old ladies go down easy. Next, you get to do a legless old man. They tend to be more of a challenge.

The Interview by ragu4u 3-21-10

A teacher, huh? What job do feel qualified to do at our school. Headmaster! What else? I'm sure I can find a "head job" for you somewhere. That sure sucks. You catch on real quick. Will I get a "Chapstick" allowance?

Where's the "Care" in Healthcare? by ragu4u 3-21-10

Too bad he died, doctor. He waited as long as he could. Sometimes waiting for a heart is a lengthy process. He wasn't waiting on a heart. For what, then? Congress! Then the poor sucker was doomed from the get go.

What? Me worry? by ragu4u 3-21-10

After all this debate and foot dragging on health care I know one thing for sure, Mr. President. And what's that Rahm? I know the GOP's favorite movie. They're favorite movie? OK...I'll bite. What is it? "Kill Bill" Bill hasn't been President in a while, Rahm. Oh...you mean "Kill Bill" as in kill THE bill. Heh...good one. Now how bout we play some round ball?

It's Called "Paying It Backward" by ragu4u 3-22-10

Ya feel better about health care NOW! Now that I pay everything & YOU pay nothing, OLD man? Don't make me fuck you up, you little yuppie! If he mentions 'Nam" one more time...! Where's my glass of Chablis?

To Be More Specific... by ragu4u 3-23-10

Because you're mine.... ...I walk the line. OrShouldIHaveSaidThatIWalkBetweenTheLines,AtADistance?

Stripped From Recent Headlines...Kinda by ragu4u 3-23-10

Albuquerque, New Mexico Zoo Is it true about the giraffe dismemberment? Yup. I thought you keepers knew all about the new security in place to stop it? High tech, stealthy stuff, huh? Let's just say, I'm glad my partner has the size 22 feet. Halt...Who goes there? Just me, the little old Giraffe groomer.

Blabbering Biden by ragu4u 3-24-10

You sent for me, Mr. President? Yes Joe. It appears you have made another gaffe on an open mic. Mother fucker! That shit just happens, sir. Those cock suckers in the press are everywhere. Stop a minute, Joe. ..............Wolfe, you better cut now before it gets worse and CNN gets fined.

"Beef...Its What's For Dinner" by ragu4u 3-24-10

Cattle Crossing This isn't safe without..... "LOOK OUT!!!!!" Bwahahaha ...a sign?

Anti-Health Care Protesters Are "SICK" by ragu4u 3-25-10

This time just look for graves of babies. Why? That coffin we put on Russ Carnahan's lawn had a 300 pound guy in it, stupid. The stupid guy is the one who said..."Don't open the coffin." Here's one. It says..."Died in Utero". That must be in a different county.

"Alien" Nation by ragu4u 3-25-10

I pledge allegience to the flag... ...of the United states of America... ...and to the republic for which it stands... ...one nation, under "GOD", indivisible... ...with liberty and justice... ...for all.......who can afford to pay taxes.

K-9, 5-0 by ragu4u 3-26-10

Hawaii is nice but I gotta stay clear of "Dog th Bounty Hunter". As your lawyer I must tell you...here he comes now. THIS is it? You're the "DOG"? You ain't shit!!! Don't make me put on my "blonde mullet." In THAT case, I surrender. Wise move! Book em, Leland!

"24" No More by ragu4u 3-26-10

The Following Takes Place Between 2002 &............ Hi! I'm Jack Bauer, here in 2002 to save the world... ...again ...and again and again ...and again and again .......................................2010 ...and again ..until 2010 when it just wasn't worth saving anymore!

None From Column "A" by ragu4u 3-27-10

Hey, Charlie Chan, this stuff stinks and I think it's still alive. Sushi supposed to be arive. Bring here if you no rike main dish! Funny lookin Sushi. Oh, you find just in time. I did? Oh yeah. Me just bout out of Kung Pau Chicken.

No Mail Saturdays by ragu4u 3-27-10

Here's the last letter you'll ever have delivered on a Saturday. Oh no....you mean.... ...Saturday deliveries have been discontinued? Oh yeah...that too! Ugh!