That's All Folks by Spankling 8-30-01

How did I get here? I remember the light... was I in a tunnel? Have I died? No. Wait, yes! I remember a city. It was moving day... I hope nobody saw me drop that piano.

Here's one to help lower the standard.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I will attempt to break the streak of decent comics!

Attica by tiger8191 8-30-01

Attica 1975 Yeah, that's it, I'll take my pants off and the guard will come and laugh, yeah, yeah, and then I will slap him silly and run...heh heh..yeah, that will be great. FREEEEEEEDDDDOOOOOMMMM! Attica 1955 mwrrrrrrrr.... Attica 1934 Heh...this will be a piece of cake!

---
"I know how toast works."

No, they don't have cocks in flash cards.... by NastyPope 8-30-01

What the Hell?!?!?!?! I'm dead. How did I end up in the grave with a diamond studded collar in my ass? What the Hell?!?!?! I'm falling to my inevitable death & I dont remember jumping from a building. Was it a bad episode of Friends? Oooo maybe I can take out that rich lady and her poodle... What the Hell!?!?!?! I'm flying on a jet, maybe if I pull this handle the flight attendent will heeEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLp.....

---
At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

Comic Contest... Whatever the fuck number we're on. by Drexle 8-31-01

Oh, oh, oh, yeah baby! Give it to me!!! Grunt! Grunt! Wait, what's that weird looking sore? God, I feel so alone... I wish I were dead...

Well, that one sucked ass. Good to know I've still got the stuff after my dry spell. :)

Yes, this is an entry.

Becoming a man... a wirthling's eye view. by Drexle 8-31-01

And here's my favorite recent memory... I'd just blown my first donkey. Later, it progressed to where I had fully embraced my sexual orentation... thanks to the help of my "good friend" gabe. I was twelve back when I first discovered the wonders of the male organ. Here's a scene from when I was still limber enough to give myself head.

I just remembered that I had a few old strips that conformed to some of the rules. Since I don't see anything saying I can't enter them....

Stop him, before he governs us all by evil_d 2-23-01

...reckon that'll keep the Iraqis busy for a spell. Now Johnson, I want you on the horn to Britain, and tell 'em baseball's their national pastime now! Uh, sir, I don't think that's really advisable. Why in tarnation not? I never seen the point in that cricket business, myself.... Yes, sir, but as I've tried to explain before, you don't have the authority to make decisions like that for other nations. Why sure I do! I'm the leader of the free world, ain't I? I keep telling you, sir, that's not actually your title....

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Yes, but he at least had a reason by evil_d 2-26-01

Y'know, Johnson, being President of the U.S. is a big job. Too big for one man to do alone! That's why I've got advisors such as yourself. Hell, this job is as much yours as it is mine! Yes sir, it's almost like we're co-presidents! Sir, I'm not taking the blame for attacking Iraq. Damn it, I just don't understand! It worked for Poppy!

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

" " by evil_d 7-19-01

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Video killed the text adventure hero by evil_d 2-08-01

The TV attacks! The TV plays a Gap commercial. You drink a potion of Good Taste and get +5 Dexterity. You attack! You reach for the remote. The TV parries your attack! The TV returns to the program! The program is a "reality" show! You drink a potion of Common Sense. You realize that reality shows aren't real at all! The TV is stunned! You attack! You pick up the remote. The TV recovers! The TV casts a spell of Gratuitous Sex! You see vast quantities of bare skin. You are stunned! The TV drinks a potion of healing. The TV attacks! Critical hit!! You get -2 Willpower, -6 Intelligence. This is really the best part of my day.

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Occupational hazards by evil_d 2-03-01

This ticket has my name on it, is signed by me, and was on the windshield of my car. I seem to have fined myself $8,000 for various traffic offenses including "no smokes in glove box" and "failure to drive a Ferrari". Man, police officer is one profession where you really don't want to get drunk on company time.

I might even have more than these, but I shold really stop before I get kicked out of the contest for flooding.

Sad thing is, even though I had planned someday to use the reverse-chronological-order rule myself, I can't seem to think up a funny comic that follows it.

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Breath-taking... simply breath-taking...

---
"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

CC58 - Witchcraft through the ages by andydougan 8-31-01

Washington DC, 21st century Them thar Harry Potter books is leadin' to the DE-cline of decent society! Our children is bein' corrupted! Los Angeles, 20th century Like, I am TOTALLY invisible! This spell like SO rocks! And stuff! Salem, 17th century Great. They left airholes. Now I'm going to thirst to death.

This was a tough one to decide. There were several comics worthy of winning but unfortunately all of you are losers except for bunnerabb for this comic:

He got bonus points for conforming to two rules while producing a very high humor-to-word-count ratio. Congrats, bunner. You beat out some tough competition...

(He better not spunk on my polo.)

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

I agree, that was a hilarious!

I looked at it agin last night and laughed my ass off for the 3rd time!

---
"I know how toast works."

:- /

I -did-?

Well, Goddamn.

Thanks, y'all. :- )#)

CC 59 Rules by tomorrow night. I'd do it sooner, but I literally work every day.

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Just curious, Bunner - does the DCCVCT apply here? You sounded rather surprised...

I wasn't - your strip was a cack. :)

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I suppose it does a bit. I tend to have the best luck with these things whn I just read the rules and crank out the first thing that occurs to me to write.

I thought it was a bit lame, though, so yeah... the DCCVCT rule does enter into it.

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.