What a great name for him.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

let's not count our chickens before they hatch on that last one there.

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what if nigger meant kite

Humanity can't be blamed for a freak accident like Yanni. We can, however, be blamed for not finding a way to get rid of him.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Precisely.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

what else can we do. we mailed him off to the sun but he came back return to sender, mass of gas unknown. then the sun was seen wearing a groucho marx disguise for the next week

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what if nigger meant kite

Last time I tried to send Yanni to the sun, I got it back with a letter attached reading "We don't want him here either - Europa". I thought it was a misspelling or something, but then I noticed that it was signed by "large black rectangular thing". Which is kinda weird, because I thought its name was "Obelisk".

DAMN YOU STANLEY KUBRICK! DAMN YOU ARTHUR C. CLARKE!

Oh, and next time, I'm sending it UPS (Univeral Parcel Service).

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Of course, Yanni IS the reason why we haven't been invaded by hostile aliens and had our world population decimated, with the survivors rounded up to live out the rest of their days in intergalactic slavery.

I know! We can drive off the giant monsters by blasting Yanni's "music" at them!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

quote:

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Of course, Yanni IS the reason why we haven't been invaded by hostile aliens and had our world population decimated, with the survivors rounded up to live out the rest of their days in intergalactic slavery.

I know! We can drive off the giant monsters by blasting Yanni's "music" at them!

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Texas refuses to let Giant monsters past the border. Since everything in Texas has to be bigger than anywhere else, they placed a ban on all giant monsters smaller than 800 feet tall and weighing less than 40,000 tons.

Liberals are lobbying for Congress to force Texas to lift the ban on so-called "undersized" giant monsters, but in today's Republican legislature it might be months before the bill is even brought to the floor.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Giant Monsters are not US citizens and therefore are not covered by the constitution. We can restrict their size all we want! Besides, there is no law currently defining giant monsters as humans, and therefore there are no civil rights concerning them.

They will be discriminated against until the government sees the error of its ways and gives Giant Monsters full citizenship status.

Even then they won't be able to vote.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

quote:

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Giant Monsters are not US citizens and therefore are not covered by the constitution. We can restrict their size all we want! Besides, there is no law currently defining giant monsters as humans, and therefore there are no civil rights concerning them.

They will be discriminated against until the government sees the error of its ways and gives Giant Monsters full citizenship status.

Even then they won't be able to vote.

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I don't think anyone's "covered by" the constitution. the constitution is mankinds high water mark, its moment of clarity, its best hope for survival. we're not "covered by" it like some kind of cheap HMO. rather we're "protected by" it, like a congressmen wrapping one of those little leaflets of it around his dick so he can pork a staffer.

yes exactly like that

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what if nigger meant kite

Or the Department of Homeland Defense hiding under the Patriot Act to deny us the rights granted by the Constitution.

Wait...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Its a sad fact. Most giant monsters are forced into poorly paying jobs with long hours and dangerous conditions, such as farming, factory work, and tentacle porn movies (who knows what those "innocent" girls are carrying. The monsters aren't even allowed to use condoms).

Humans think that the monsters are moving in and taking all the jobs, but the fact is they're only taking the ones that get $0.25 an hour. When will you racists wake up?!

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

But then that forces the Mexicans to get better jobs, which in turn works it's way up the chain and displaces everyone eventually.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

quote:

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Or the Department of Homeland Defense hiding under the Patriot Act to deny us the rights granted by the Constitution.

Wait...

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[Click to view comic: 'Butch's Road Trip (3)']

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

But then that forces the Mexicans to get better jobs, which in turn works it's way up the chain and displaces everyone eventually.

Not really. As it turns out, as soon as they lay eyes on a 30 foot tall 6 eyed purple thing next to them picking strawberries with them, they decide that its about time they joined the ministry.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

But then that forces the Mexicans to get better jobs, which in turn works it's way up the chain and displaces everyone eventually.

Not really. As it turns out, as soon as they lay eyes on a 30 foot tall 6 eyed purple thing next to them picking strawberries with them, they decide that its about time they joined the ministry.

The problem there is that the majority of Mexicans are Catholic. The only thing that kept the people from rising up against the Catholic church after the pedophilia incidents was because the accused priests were white. Imagine what would happen if a minority priest was accused! Chaos in the streets! And then the Giant Monsters would be free to take over!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

But then that forces the Mexicans to get better jobs, which in turn works it's way up the chain and displaces everyone eventually.

Not really. As it turns out, as soon as they lay eyes on a 30 foot tall 6 eyed purple thing next to them picking strawberries with them, they decide that its about time they joined the ministry.

The problem there is that the majority of Mexicans are Catholic. The only thing that kept the people from rising up against the Catholic church after the pedophilia incidents was because the accused priests were white. Imagine what would happen if a minority priest was accused! Chaos in the streets! And then the Giant Monsters would be free to take over!

Actually, the preists got away with it due to the hand of the rich catholic diocese putting money into the government officials' pockets in exchange for "forgiveness" and the ability to move the preists into other parishes to rape again.

And as far as monsters taking over, giant monsters dont want control over the country, they just want better for their brood. Back on Monster Island is a slum opressed by the "Monster Mafia" and the Dictatorship. Would you want them to have to raise their grubs and hatchlings in a setting like that?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Yes.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

lets assume for a moment your right. the monsters just want a better life for thier family and everythings just been a big misunderstanding. guess what, monster sponser? it doesnt matter. not when every time an illegal immigrant monster rolls over in his sleep we lose an elementary school full of children or a liquor barn full of something much more valuable (hope). not when every time they need a midnight snack, there goes a years supply of cornbread and there goes the starvation rate skyrocketing again. the simple truth is that our two species can't coexist. we have to either: 1) relocate the monsters back to monster island with a replenished supply of cornbread 2) relocate them to a larger island and rename that island monster island 3) relocate them to multiple smaller islands and rename those smaller islands monster island 1, monster island 2 ... monster island n (where n is any real integer and n>=3)

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what if nigger meant kite

Better yet, let's just send the giant monsters into space. Half of them came from outer space in the first place, so there's no reason we can't send all of them out there.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

or we could just film them on earth but make it look like space, release the film to the world to prove democracy's superiority over communism, then execute the monsters and claim they were lost after landing on Europa

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what if nigger meant kite

Most things that land at Europa are executed , or drowned in bureaucracy. One of the two , anyway. Weird Continent.

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There was once a man who said:"nothing is true!". Although later it was found out that he was lying.