The Penguin In Trouble Show by Beeko180 4-04-09

You do know that throwing an ignited stick at a police officer and putting the finger up to him is a criminal offence right? You got any pot?

The Penguin And The Fat Little Elf Thingy Show by Beeko180 4-04-09

Bar tender! Ring me up a tall glass of- Give me some DRUGS GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!

The Vigoda Penguin Show by Beeko180 4-04-09

You stupid little- excuseme? Wanna buy some crack?

The Old Lady/Penguin Show by Beeko180 4-04-09

Hey Old lady!!!! May I help you young man? ::::: :.: ..:: :....::::: Translation:

The Scary Penguin Show by Beeko180 4-04-09

Why hello Jeremy! Hello Retarded Puppet posessed by the devil! Today we're going to talk to you about: Later....... And that's where babies come from! Wow. Talk about Censored.....

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

The Penguin Show in: Trapped by Beeko180 4-04-09

There's no way out now. Your gonna snap. I can feel it.

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

...and that's why we play "Duck, Duck, Goose" now by evil_d 4-04-09

Duck, duck, duck, penguin! You're supposed to chase me around the circle now. What's in it for me?

The Penguin of Approval by evil_d 4-04-09

I only got a C− on my math test. It's okay, Billy. You tried your hardest. I embezzled a lot of money from my employer! It's not too late to set things right. I know that deep down you're a good person. My girlfriend and I have been living in sin. You'll burn in hell, heathen.

I'll judge this tomorrow... let's say around noon, EDT.  That gives you about 13 hours from the time of this post. 

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

The Adventures of Nazi-Man #6 by skard123 4-05-09

Have no fea- wait, what the fuck!? What's wrong? Are you... are you black or white? Why does it matter? I'm a Nazi? Kind of compulsory to be racist... So, You're probably more bl- Goddamnit!

The Adventures of Nazi-Man #7 by skard123 4-05-09

After a week of searching for the mysterious white-black bird, Nazi-Man finally succeeds in finding it! Finally! You have no idea where I've looked for you! Excuse me? I worked out, you're more black than white... Wow! I feel like weight's been lifted, really... I think you may have me confused with someone el- Another good deed done!

The Penguin of Approval part 2 by evil_d 4-05-09

I just beat the new Street Fighter game! All that persistence paid off! I finally learned how to send a text message! That's using your noodle! I can run an eight-minute mile! That's not bad for an old lady!

Thanks to everybody who helped me in my quest to piss off a dear friend. 

Honorable mentions go to Namgubed, for contributing an entire thread to the discussion; Count_Frankenfear, for posting a picture of Chiyo-chan; and Beeko180, for allowing us to observe his rapid descent into madness.

Runners-up are Namgubed, for "Got Any Grapes?"; TheGovernor, for "The Emperor's new clothes"; and biped, for "Awwwwww...".  Clever ideas all.

But, in the end, I'm sure the winner will surprise nobody:

cc422: My other theory is Happy Feet by mandingo 3-31-09

i just don't get it, John. what could've possibly happened to make you hate penguins so much? oh, it's a long, convoluted story. it would take hours to tell

Mandingo said so much with so little.  I'm adopting this as my official explanation now.  Congratulations!

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

evil_d

Heh heh Cool......

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

w00t. thanks, evil_d. i will take this victory and put it in my pocket next to my car keys and brown sugar baked beans

you'll have to tell us his reaction to the thread, assuming you two are still talking

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what if nigger meant kite

mandingo

He told me that he needed to punch me, said he liked Namgubed's comic with the ducks, and agreed that Beeko is going crazy. 

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Just because the contest is over is no reason to stop making comics about penguins.

Penguin's Heroes by evil_d 4-07-09

Men, we'll need to keep the Germans distracted during this operation. Sergeant Catter, fake an illness and keep them busy at the infirmary. Good idea. And Cpl. Oiseau can make some of his apple strudel for— PEEENGUIIIN! Vat is going on here? Er, Colonel Pink! What a surprise!

 

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!