Hurt Feelings by ragu4u 10-18-09

What are mommy & daddy doing in there that makes so much noise? Some people call it..."Makin the bacon", sis! Must you always use THAT analogy?

Down in the Psyche Ward by ragu4u 10-18-09

Now, just so you know, this will hurt, but you need it to survive. Oh? I bet it don't hurt worse than THIS! Well, no need to bother with THIS anymore. What? I'm cured already?

Hoisted By His Own Pitard by ragu4u 10-18-09

And stay out there till you promise to quit beating off in the bathroom, young man. Gee whiz, dad! Plus, I have a good mind to tell your girlfriend too. Can I come back in if I promise only to beat off under the computer desk, like you do, dad? You know, I bet mom would love to hear all about THAT! I'd love to hear all about what, sugar?

I'm Just Sayin...

So how did you win the beauty contest at "George Washington Carver University"? I could fill out the application.

by ragu4u, 10-19-09

This page is 5000% more awesome than the last one.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Another Promise, Up In Smoke by ragu4u 10-19-09

Get back in bed, sir. Not till I get my weed. Obama says I can have weed if my Doctor OK's it. So check with my Doc, chop-chop! Doctor, the patient in 101 is demanding his medicinal weed promised to him by President Obama. He wants weed, does he? Well, I'll make sure he gets all the weed coming to him. ...but Obama said... I don't give a flying fart what Obama said. Try to grab one more of my leaves and I'll snatch your god-damn hand off.

Mayhem at the Halloween Party by ragu4u 10-20-09

Hey! You can't come in here. You've got no invitation. Just cause I don't have the right paper, you're keepin me out? Pretty much...yeah! You're treating me like an illegal alien! Well, duh! Now you can say hello to my leetle green card.

A Royal Flush by ragu4u 10-20-09

Dad, I clogged up the toilet again. You need to fix it. You know son, in Vermont, a guy just killed his kid over a clogged up toilet. That's pretty stupid, pops. Not even YOU are THAT stupid. Get back in here, Butch. Daddy wants to show you how to use a plunger, Vermont style.

Company Dropping In

Those Sicilean shoes are all the rage. uhmfg...

by ragu4u, 10-20-09

The Misprint by ragu4u 10-22-09

You sure? What? No way! You're a liar. B.S. I'll double check but I'm almost sure our ad was worded..."Calling all SHOP-aholics", with an "S".

The Audition by ragu4u 10-22-09

Ahem, cough, cough..ahem... Don't be nervous. Well OK, here goes.... ...AFLACK!!!! Sounds just a wee bit too ebonic, sorry.

...and when you're not, you're not! by ragu4u 10-23-09

Hey hon, come to bed. We can watch the new Leno Show on the TV above our bed. Give him one more chance. No way. His show stinks. I wanna watch The Sons of Anarchy. They're HOT! Cable TV HQ You have finally dethroned the LENO. What can I tell ya? Chicks love the leather.

I don't recall ever seeing such a dramatic comic improvement.  (Although I don't know what Sons of Anarchy is.)

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Childhood Memories by ragu4u 10-23-09

Hi. I'm Father Joe. Why you no good $%#@$%# pervert. I'm gonna %$^# you up so bad you'll be &%$#@$#%ed up for life. Oh! Five minutes...just give me five minutes? Sorry, I gotta run, but it's always nice to see an old altar boy again. Just five minutes!

Marathon Deuce

Just tell me, is it safe? Yaaaaaaa!?!?!?!?!?

by ragu4u, 10-23-09

Marathon Deuce

Just tell me, is it safe? Yaaaaaaa!?!?!?!?!?

by ragu4u, 10-23-09

Marathon Deuce

Just tell me, is it safe? Yaaaaaaa!?!?!?!?!?

by ragu4u, 10-23-09

A Cool Cucumber

Get yo ass back out on the street! Don't be mad, Tyrone. I just thought I'd duck in here a minute and suck down a cold one.

by ragu4u, 10-24-09

Before He was Satan, He Sold Used Cars by ragu4u 10-24-09

You told me I could have all the sex I wanted when I sold you my soul, so I did. Yeah, so what about it? Well, I'm not having any sex at all, now! Obviously, you didn't read the fine print. The sex begins only if you move to a leper colony. But who reads the fine print? Nobody! Bwahahaha!

Calling em Like You See em! by ragu4u 10-25-09

May I help you? Why yes. I'm taking this to the food bank for homeless people. THAT bank failed, so hand it over. You appear not to need any extra food, my portly friend. I'll have you know I spread it around to all the right places. So how did it all wind up in your gut?

They're Coming & Must Be Stopped by ragu4u 10-25-09

Well, that road block ought to stop em. What do you mean..."They're killer bees so they'll fly right over it?" Maybe if I make it taller...?

Getting the "Low Down" by ragu4u 10-25-09

I'm sorry but, as this is an ongoing investigation, I cannot comment further. But you haven't told us ANYTHING yet. Well you're certainly not gonna get the fact that our main suspect is the husband, out of ME! Thank you, chief! For what? As I said, I'm not saying a word and neither will that rat bastard of a husband. Can we quote you on that?

A Little Carried Away

Do you mind?

by ragu4u, 10-25-09

Telling It Like It T-I-Z by ragu4u 10-25-09

The Streets of Chicago What say we go to "Mother's" tonight? I don't think they let OUR kind in there. OUR kind? What kind is that, my brutha? The baggy pants wearing kind. Then let's wear spandex shorts. For some reason, I think THEY would be too baggy as well.

Take Me Out to the Bull Game

So Mark McGuire is gonna be hitting coach for the St. Louis Cardinals, huh? Only LaRussa could stick him with a job in that vein.

by ragu4u, 10-26-09