I can't make them make comics you piece of shit. And your childish attituded throughout hasn't been funny or helpful. These things always tend to move slow. That is the way they work. I'm sorry it isn't good enough for you, but it is what it is and I trust these men to show up and make comics soon. So wait your turn and relax. 

Riposte by gabe_billings 7-01-10

I can't make them make comics you piece of shit. And your childish attituded throughout hasn't been funny or helpful. These things always tend to move slow. That is the way they work. Your butt smells.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Sorry I'm late!  Here's my brilliant masterpiece.

Nightmare Proposal | by not_Scyess 7-01-10

I love you, Leela. We have fun together, and the sex is amazing. Will you marry me? Well, I'm not sure... What do you mean you're not sure? Don't you feel the same way? Oh it's not that. It's just that your dad and my dad are... kind of the same person. What! You knew this the whole time?! You let me strap me into the sex swing knowing you were my sister? Just like Dad... he loves that thing, too.

Nightmare Proposal ][ by not_Scyess 7-01-10

So wait... you're my sister... AND you're fucking our dad? You don't have to make it sound like it's a bad thing. So who's the skanky ho Dad knocked up to produce you? You know Aunt Melba? I can't believe this. Would you believe she's also our grandma?

Nightmare Proposal ]|[ by not_Scyess 7-01-10

Good lord! I've been fucking you for two years! It's like fucking my whole family! Also, I used to be a man. AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! Holy shit! I just had the wost nightmare!!! Wake up, sweetie! What is it? *click* I had this horrible dream where the girl I was fucking turned out to be my sister. Precious little chance of that, sweetie.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Crap I guess the ball's in my court...I guess i'll stop procasturbating and post something soon.

Oh I dunno. I think gabe's childish attitude is pretty funny.

---
I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

C'mon.  I'm not really annoyed, I just like needling Crabby.  He knows I only jest.  I hope.  Just like I assume all the horrible, nasty things he says about me aren't true.

Unless he's serious.  In which case we should worry, because he sounds like he might be ready to go over the edge and go all postal on our asses.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

RCCOLAMAN wrote:

---

Crap I guess the ball's in my court...I guess i'll stop procasturbating and post something soon.

---

The only way Gabe could ever make me angry is if he called my girlfriend ugly. That is the sorta thing men lose their minds over. 

Wait, you've got a girlfriend?  I thought that was just a sasquatch you found run over in the street and were nursing back to health.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Well, I'm leaving forever.

That's not nearly long enough.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I was going to leave forever, but I just had to come back and tell you that I won't let you hold me down while I try my damndest to run a quality comic cup. I apologies to all these great contestants for letting things get out of hand and I'll try my best to keep my cool in future situations.

Keep up the great work everyone!

Sorry for the late entry, I was kicking around various scripts, doing a little focus grouping to see what appealed most to the 18-49 crowd. Then I said fuck it and wrote this:

COMIC CUP XIV ROUND DEUX: PUN-ISHMENT!1 by RCCOLAMAN 7-04-10

Dude, last night I had the most fucked up nightmare I was in Hell, being tortured by a bad Lucille Ball impersonator with a mustache and a pussy pleasing fetish WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME EAT ALL THESE MUFFINS?!? I'm forcing you to eat muffins untill you get a Bran Aneurysm!! Get it??? After that, a bunch of aliens appeared and began to anal probe me Good thing it was just a dream

Herbert Jackson "Jack" Youngblood III (born January 26, 1950) is a former American football defensive end who played for 14 years for the Los Angeles Rams of the National Football League. He was a five-time consensus All-Pro and a seven-time Pro Bowl selection and was inducted to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Youngblood graduated from the University of Florida, was an All-America selection, and is considered among the best players the school has ever produced, having been named to the Gator Football Ring of Honor and voted into the College Football Hall of Fame.

But my vote goes to not_Scyess.

---
...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

not_Scyess gets my vote

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

RC Cola ftw.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

RCCOLA, for the sterling Kaufman pun reference.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Kaufmania is running wild!  RCCOLAMAN gets my vote.

---
"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

Both were great tough one...however because the penguin reminds me of my ex RCCOLAMAN

Don't ask why the penguin reminds me of my ex long story

---
Resident Masochist & Adrenaline Junkie -I'm probably not god but you should worship me just in case-

Lord_Vodek wrote:

---

Don't ask why the penguin reminds me of my ex long story

---

Make my cola a diet, please.

Yes, I'm quite sure that was a weight joke.

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

not_scyess

---
Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

RCCOLA for me, please.

---
"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

COLA

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

Bad news, folks.  I just heard that Crabby was killed in the line of duty while at his job scraping roadkill off of Chicago city streets.  Apparently he was run down by a busload of nuns from the Sisterhood of the Sorrowful Mother convent, which then tragically struck a nearby tree and blew up.

Anyhoo, the executor of his will contacted me and apparently not only did he leave me his Sir Mix-alot cassette tape collection and his drywalling stilts, he also wanted me to take his place in running this comic cup.

That being said, I'm sure he wouldn't want us to sit around grieving for him, so we'll just press on.

In the interests of speeding things up a bit, the remainder of the cup will work a little differently.  Everyone involved in the cup, regardless of whether you've been eliminated or not, will be required to make a donation to a fund I've created to keep Crabby's memory alive and purchase flowers annually for his tombstone.

Please send your remittance to the following address:

Gabe Billings
PO Box 54873
Eugene, OR  97405

Make out your check to the name of the fund I organized, 'Crabby will Always be Singing in our Hearts', or just use the acronym CASH.  Amount should be no less than $500.  Incidentally the largest donor will also be the winner of this comic cup.  Ties will result in a duel to the death.

Thanks!

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.