Hahaha! I think gabe needs to win, start a contest, and have the rules be that you have to make a comic and alter it witf photoshop.

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http://wally.pgbco.com

It's a conspiracy by evil_d 2-26-01

Dear Mr. Jo, First let me assure you that any similarity between myself, Ann Landers, Isadora, or any other advice columnists is purely coincidental and is definitely not... ...part of a government plot to numb people's minds by making them emotionally dependent on an army of zombies who dispense common sense masquerading as helpful advice. As for your rash and burning sensation, in these cases the best thing to do is to "fight fire with fire" -- literally, I mean, by cauterizing the affected area. Cauterization is a simple and... ...time-honored medical technique and can be performed in the comfort of your own home, without professional aid. Finally, I suggest that you seek help for your paranoid delusions. The idea that some mysterious "red robot" out to kill you is coming to your door disguised as an Avon saleslady, or, for example, as a Jehovah's Witness, is just plain silly. --Abby Afternoon, neighbor. I wonder if you could spare a few minutes to discuss the saving power of Jesus Christ.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Dear Abby,

Thanks for your useful advice. Though I now have to type with my tongue and can no longer play the piano (in the traditional way that is), the cauterization seems to have worked out excellently. Thanks for your consideration and that exquisite recipe for rice pudding. It is D-lectable.

-Itchy in Ithaca

__________________________________________________________

Dear Ann Landers,

The price is 5k, woman. I'll do her, I'll even set it up to look like a robbery. But I don't even get out of bed in the morning for anything less than 5k. That's not a lot of money to be rid of your main compettition in the advise line of business, sister or not. In fact, I think you should pay it just to rid the world of that lumpy ass pudding.

-Itchy Trigger in Ithaca

___________________________________________________________

Dear Red Robot,

I long for you. The way you held me in the sunlight in Monaco is forever burnt into my heart. The way your driveshaft whirrs when we kiss, the way I lube you, the soft touch of you titanium coated steel grasper hands. I long for them all. Please treat kindly the fragile gift that is my heart.

-Ed "Itchy" from Big Ed's Tires

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

A N D T H E W I N N E R F O R T H E M O S T O F F T O P I C P O S T I S !!

Wait... no... never mind.

See you at 11:00

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Image above shows the beginning of the first row in crocheting the solid shell stitch. It is basically a single crochet, skip next two stitches, then 5 double crochet in the next stitch (one shell made), skip next two stitches. This is repeated across the row. Easy. Instructions below show how to alternate where the single crochet and shell stitches are placed on the next row, to form the solid shell stitch patterning.

Abbreviations:
ch = chain
dc = double crochet
sc = single crochet
st = stitch

Basic Directions For Solid Shell Stitch
Starting Chain Formula: Multiple of 6 stitches plus 1, then add 1 more for base starting chain
Row 1: 1 sc in 2nd ch from hook, * skip 2 ch, 5 dc in next ch, skip 2 ch, 1 sc in next ch **, repeat * to ** to end of row. Turn.
Row 2: Ch 3 (counts as first dc), 2 dc in same st as ch-3 just made, * skip 2 dc, 1 sc in next dc (which is the center st of the 5-dc shell), skip 2 dc, 5 dc in next sc **, repeat * to ** to end of row, ending the last repeat with 3 dc in last sc, skip turning chain. Turn.
Row 3: Ch 1, 1 sc in first st, * skip 2 dc, 5 dc in next sc, skip 2 dc, 1 sc in next dc **, repeat from * to ** to end of row, ending last repeat with 1 sc in top of the ch-3 turning chain.
Repeat rows: Repeat rows 2 and 3 consecutively, until desired length is reached.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Oopsie. Guess this means I posted the cartoon of ObiJo getting raped by the donkey in the message board of my crocheting site.

My bad.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Ha. How's that for off-topic?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Okey dokey.

I liked them all, really. Quite interesting. Gabe came through with that sort of cynical view of things that living in Cleveland has the tendency to install in one. Probably why there are more working, syndicated, comic strip artists who are from Greater Cleveland than anywhere else. It's a fact.

Wirthling's take on sitcking the whole heartwarming redemption scene into a modern setting was hilarious. He was very much a "crazy-assed cracker" if you look at it.

Bottlerockett's strip re-wrote the whole thing for gamers and put an amusing twist on things. A bit more "Scrooged" than "A Christmas Carol", but a hoot.

ObiJo's mistaken identity idea is hilarious and would probably make a good production for a stage play.

evil_d's Lowpass take was a bit of an inside joke, but pretty funny to those of us who tend to live here. :- )

I actually thought mine didn't suck too badly. A bit of a tired joke, but another dose of that Cleveland jaundice tinted humour for ya.

And the winner is:

Comic Contest #8 - Sorry, no witty subtitle by BigEvilDan 2-25-01

Who...who are you? Amazed Porno Bunny, I am the ghost of comics past. Why have you come here? Because you are an annoying jerk and I thought I'd show you the way you used to be. But wasn't I always an annoying jerk? Yeah, this is one of those "scared straight" type lessons.

This thing worked for me in a lot of ways.

1): The character set is friggin' hilarious and works well as a sight gag.

2): It's a really good riff on the concept we were working inside of.

3:) Amazed Porno Bunny is a racist dickweed and I'm glad he took the piss out of him. It works as an inside joke and it stands on it's own, as well. Albiet on some pretty weird legs. :- )

4): It made me laugh my ass off.

There you have it. Thanks. It was a gas.

Rock on, then

BigEvilDan

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I'm out of town doing a show until Friday morning, by the way, so if the Comic Contest #9 deadline could fall somewhere around Friday night, that would be a zig launched for great justice. Or some shit. Please?
I gotta eat, y'all.

Thanks,

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Bah, since bunnerabb was judging while drunk or something, I guess this means I need to choose a topic.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Hummph! I am, sir, as sober as... as.... Awww,shit. I'm out of ice. I'll deal with you, *hic* later!

*zZZzzZzZzZzZZZzZzzzzz*

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I'm sorry, but you don't know DRUNK until you've been drinking Guinness all night long, take a few tequila shots, slurp down a few Vodka-Collins', and finish off by having the last thing you remember being: looking face down in a tiolet puking black.

(please don't think I do it all the time tho :()

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http://wally.pgbco.com

quote:

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I'm out of town doing a show until Friday morning...

bunner

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How much does stripping at gay clubs pay these days?

Look... I TOLD you.... I do lighting and audio. I'm out of artist management. I am NOT going to go and scour up work for you in those nasty-assed gay baths. You'll just have to get a gig on your own. That is if 300 pound gay strippers can still GET work.

Good luck, and stop pestering me,

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Hey! It's 299 pounds, thank you very much. (The diet is really paying off this time!)

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."