Cruisin With... "The Dung Beetles" by ragu4u 4-24-10

I just love these "Carnival" cruises. Say, why don't you meet me at "The Grande Buffet"? Sure thing. I'll be right there. Mmmmm. I hate these places. I always eat too much.

Kid Stuff by ragu4u 4-24-10

Say little girl, could you...uh...would you...um. Have you ever tried...uh... C'mon buddy. Half & half or around the world? Which'll it be? Time is money, ya know! And here I thought bubble gum flavored condoms were a dumb idea. WELL???

The Great "Hawking" Speaks by ragu4u 4-24-10

Oh no. My hero has gone off the deep end. Stephan Hawking now warns that "it's too dangerous to talk to aliens." What am I going to do now? Are you deaf? You heard the man. "JUST DON'T FUCK WITH ME!" Duly noted.

No Kiddin by ragu4u 4-25-10

Please don't smite me. I'm on my way to church....honest. Well, in that case, carry on! 30 Minutes Later.... Ooh baby, you do me then I'll do you. Me love you, long time. Much Later...... Church was SOOO wonderful. Thank you for let........ Assume the position, dickweed.

The Office Snitch by ragu4u 4-25-10

Aha! Caught you in here stealing stuff, didn't I? Well don't just stand there, all wide eyed, like a deer caught in the... **click** Oops....never mind.

Geraldo Strkes Out Again by ragu4u 4-25-10

So, Geraldo, you was really lookin to find Jimmy Hoffa, huh? Shoot. And here I thought ya said Rimmy Poffa. My bad.

The Cutting Edge by ragu4u 4-26-10

Fuzzy, how about a nice, quick, beard trim and haircut? Why certainly, sir. You'll be done in a jif. 5 Minutes Later.... Perhaps I should have left out the "quick" part? Perhaps.

Asian "American Chopper" by ragu4u 4-26-10

Listen here, Mr Wong. I want you out of that ridiculous outfit "chop chop"! You feel me? You betcha, boss. I be l-ight back. Maybe I should have rephrased that? Too late, Mandingo!

You Sure Look Familiar by ragu4u 4-26-10

You actually screw guys in this bug infested dump? Kinda picky, ain't ya young fella? I'm just sayin..... If it was good enough for your father it should be good enough for you. So, then I get a family discount, right mom? Ok, Ok...but the price goes back up if ya want to kiss me, son.

It Comes With the Territory by ragu4u 4-26-10

It's awfully cold out. Can I get a ride? Hmm... I'll bet you have a warm mouth. I hate when we get blizzards in San Francisco!

On the Back Nine by ragu4u 4-26-10

How should I play this lie, my caddy? Well Monk, I would say a chip is all you need. Many thanks. I go get what is needed. What? You better hurry. Moments Later... Why did he send you out here? He said that you said a Chipmunk could do it.

"Pants On the Ground" Arizona Style by ragu4u 4-27-10

Arizona/Mexico Border I have a sneaking suspicion you may be illegal. Let's see your papers, Poncho. No se? Don't gimme that "No se", crap. You can recite the entire menu at Taco Barn. Ok hesse. Geef me a break. I send money home to my seester. Hands up and spread em, Jose! Oh no. Not theese. Please hesse, just deport me. My butt hole, only yesterday, start to heal from last time..

A Hunting We Will Go

Whatever happened to birdshot?

by ragu4u, 4-27-10

White Guys Finish Last by ragu4u 4-27-10

Hi mister. Would you like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies? Sure kid. I'll take 3 boxes. Meanwhile, across town... Yo, gramps. Our Cub Scout Pack is selling snoots to raise some bucks. Will ya hep the bruthas out? I'll wager they're stolen. Leave immediately, before I make a lawn jockey out of you.

At Home By the Range by ragu4u 4-27-10

Man, it stinks like horseshit in here. Oh, hi son, c'mon in... ...but, next time, leave yer boots on the porch.

Publicity Machine by ragu4u 4-28-10

FLASH! Noah's Ark found by Chinese explorers in Turkey on Mt. Ararat. Can you believe it? They actually bought that shit? And now for the media blitz. Get your Noah statuettes here. Hury, hurry, hurry! Even I thought that Bible story was a hoax. I'll take two, for my boys.

Comic Book Hoarder by ragu4u 4-28-10

Go in the basement and get me issue #3 of "Lord-(S)".  ok  Whoa! Well? Get it yourself, "Lard Ass."

Personal Goals by ragu4u 4-29-10

I, ragu4u, have seen your decision to do a strip per day, Ladyjdotnet. Tis my mantra, as well. Yeah...so? So start strippin! You moron. I didn't mea... Just as I suspected. A cheap tease. I'll get naked now. I'm calling 911.

Senor Biden Does it Again by ragu4u 4-29-10

Joe, it looks like the oil from the oil rig explosion will make land tomorrow. I already made a statement to the press about that, sir. Oh my God Joe. What did you say NOW? I just said.."Too bad it couldn't have waited till May 5th..... Oh no......... ...when all the Mexicans celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Nobody would notice the extra grease."

Doo Wopped by ragu4u 4-29-10

Say...I love the doo rag. That is a doo rag, right? In your case..... ...it's a "don't" rag!

The Home Front by ragu4u 4-30-10

Oh crap...it's all over YouTube, dad. What's all over YouTube, son? Our soldiers in Afghanistan doing a re-make of a Lady Ga Ga Video. War is hell, my boy. War is HELL! Now come & eat. Your caviar is spoiling.

Falling Stars by ragu4u 4-30-10

Did you hear? Branjolina's twins may have Down Syndrome. Really? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Does it invole wierd hats, Botox and a beard? Scary, isn't it? Look at it this way. At least the kids will be "good to go" every Halloween.

Stickin It to The Man by ragu4u 4-30-10

He's not in his cubicle again. I know where to catch him. Consider yourself served! There. Consider the subpoena properly filed. *flush*

Ready to Wear by ragu4u 4-30-10

I'm sorry. All the dressing rooms are full. You'll have to wait. If I must. "I don't care. I wear my hat to the back and my pants on the ground." Something I said?

He Gets Choked Up by ragu4u 4-30-10

And what makes you feel you need therapy, Mister uh...? The name's Slugger... ...Louisville Slugger! I feel your pain.