A New Hen in the Cock House by ragu4u 5-01-10

Mr. President, there's a Vera Baker at the door to see you. Damn...not her again. Get the NSA to eradicate her, Rahm. Too late, sir. The National Enquirer already has the story. Well then, let's get Michelle out of the country before she finds out. Too late there as well, sir. She's filing for divorce as we speak. Oh no. I better become a citizen, if I expect to get custody of the girls.

That's What Erasers Are For by ragu4u 5-01-10

Why you draw me so plain? Me want be jazzed up. n'K Uhh... Well? Me say "jazzed", not "jizzed". Complainer!

Pink Slipped by ragu4u 5-01-10

Well what do you THINK happened to me at work today? Somebody kicked the bucket?.......You drank too much and all got trashed? You threw out a winning lotto ticket and got stuck inside looking for it? I can't decide. Are you an idiot an imbecile or just a moron? I'm a blonde, thank you.

One Question Too Many by ragu4u 5-01-10

We're about to do battle. Mr. Swede, get EVERY man armed and ready to fight. Aye, aye Captain. You said that just to piss me off, didn't you? Damn it man, I said arm yourse.... oops...nevermind. Speaking of arms, wasn't that hook on your other arm in the 1st panel? Mr. Swede, prepare the plank!

Misconceptions in TV Ads by ragu4u 5-01-10

Are you as tired of doing these "Sonic" commercials as I am? C'mon...we get paid good & the food is free. But everyone thinks we're two gay boys who want each others food. What do you mean, THINKS? You mean...? I want a bite of your wiener.

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(CTC #2) Never Give Away the Gag by ragu4u 5-02-10

I put a Baby Ruth in the water jug. Really Why is that? It'll become obvious. Just wait.

This Lil Piggy Went To.... by ragu4u 5-02-10

I bet I know just what you're about to say... ..."I love the smell of napalm in the morning!", am I right? Actually, it smells more like bacon. HEY..come back!

Wrong Place/Wrong Time by ragu4u 5-02-10

Wanna fight me, buddy? Well there's me buddy! Huh?

Kick Them While They're Down by ragu4u 5-03-10

Hakimullah Mehsud has vowed terror upon two U.S. cities. Too bad the Times Square gig went south on me. I need a SURE THING, and fast! A first class disaster. Hey, I GOT IT!!!!!!! I'll claim responsibility for Detroit!

Is It Sickle, Or Is It Cycle? by ragu4u 5-03-10

That'll keep ya off my Harley, punk! What's with the blood? My lil brother wanted to ride a motor-sickle. Don't tell me... You just can't beat "manuelly operated". He was your only brother, I hope?

A Coyote of Few Words by ragu4u 5-03-10

Is it true that you have finally caught and eaten the Road Runner, Mr. Coyote? uh... ...BEEP BEEP! Well, there you have it folks, straight from the coyotes' mouth!

The REAL Culprit by ragu4u 5-04-10

Damnit Gwen, the computer is down AGAIN! Upon closer inspection... Mmmm! Almost as tasty as telephone wire.

Assembly Line Medicine by ragu4u 5-04-10

Medicaid Office What's an O.B.G.Y.N.? Don't be scared young lady. The doctor just wants to see if your period has begun. Well, what's the verdict, doc? Light spotting. Nothing to worry about. NEXT! Move it. people. Move it! Move it!

Parents Just Don't Get It by ragu4u 5-05-10

Must you parade around in front of this window in your undies? How's this one? Better? ...like talkin to a brick wall.

Parents Just Don't Get It II by ragu4u 5-05-10

Mom is it true women masturbate as much as men? What in gods name are they teaching you at that school? Strip and bend over that table. I'll SHOW you. That is absolutely the wrong thing for you to do. Why? Always make sure you have a condom first.

Parents Just Don't Get It III by ragu4u 5-05-10

School called. Kenny is in trouble. What did he do? He wrote graffiti all over the restroom walls with my lipstick. Did they confiscate it? They tired but Kenny said he lost his purse. Damn him. I told him to use the beaded clutch I gave him for lipstick.

Chef's Surprise by ragu4u 5-05-10

Honey, what are you doing in there? Just whipping up something I think you'll like, Penny. How about you? Me too!

She Made the Right Call by ragu4u 5-06-10

And stay out until you've quit your drinking. A Month Later.... Can I come home now? I'm a new man. I'm through with drinking. Praise the Lord. Welcome back. I'll be right there...as soon as I put my hookah in the garage. Operator? Divorce attorneys, please!

The Un-Naturalist by ragu4u 5-06-10

Mommy, can I go outside? Mr. Gacey wants to show me something in the backyard. OK! I'll call you for lunch. That's a snake? Yep! Come, you gotta look closer. It looks more like a swollen worm. You have to rub him. They get huge when ya rub em.

Jumping the Gun by ragu4u 5-06-10

What the...? The Dow drops 1000 points in the last five minutes... I'm ruined! ...with no hope in si... ...Oh wait.....that was just a typo....sorry.

Chef's Surprise II by ragu4u 5-06-10

I tink me bread need a bit more yeast. Let me help. Bring me the bowl. Ok...I go get yeast. Forget that. I got a load for ya right here. ..ugh..

Would You Believe...? by ragu4u 5-07-10

Tell me, L.T., did you really rape that 16 year old at the Holiday Inn? Aw HELL no. It went down like dis..... Listen up, bitch. We's gonna ruin Lawrence Taylor's impecable career wit dis scam. So when he gives me the $300 for, what HE thinks is a homeless shelter, that's when I yell..."RAPE"?

Out Napping the Kidnappers by ragu4u 5-07-10

They should be calling with the ransom demand any minute now. Bring 10 million dollars to the airport in one hour. You'll just have time to make it. Come alone or your wife is DEAD! UNDERSTAND? Quite right. YES! By Jove, I can't think of a better reason to take a nap..

In the Great "By & By"

Does everyone in heaven look like this? Heaven? Bwahahah

by ragu4u, 5-07-10