Cooked Books

The simp can't even think up his own lies

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Here's that shocker report I lost - or the next step in the way.

Senator Asks FBI to Investigate Fake Iraq Document
The senior Democrat on the Senate Intelligence Committee asked the FBI on Friday to investigate fake documents the United States used as evidence to the United Nations of alleged Iraqi efforts to acquire uranium from Niger.

"As you know, the International Atomic Energy Agency has recently determined that some of the intelligence documents provided to it by the United States are forgeries," Sen. John Rockefeller said in a letter to FBI Director Robert Mueller.

"These documents were provided to the IAEA as evidence of Iraqi efforts to procure uranium from the Republic of Niger. I am writing to request that the Federal Bureau of Investigation investigate this matter," the West Virginia senator said.

The documents were among intelligence U.S. officials used in seeking U.N. Security Council support for their assertion that Iraq is hiding biological, chemical and nuclear weapons programs. Iraq denies having such weapons programs.

President Bush alluded to the evidence in his State of the Union address, saying Britain had learned Iraq had sought "significant quantities of uranium from Africa."

FORGERIES

IAEA Director-General Mohamed ElBaradei undermined the U.S. position on March 7 by telling the U.N. Security Council the documents on the Iraq-Niger-uranium connection were forgeries.

U.S. officials say it was not known who forged the papers, but they were given to the United States and Britain by a third country which they would not identify.

Rockefeller expressed concern that the forgeries "may be part of a larger deception campaign aimed at manipulating public opinion and foreign policy regarding Iraq."

The implication of Senator Rockefeller's letter is that the intelligence community forged these documents to somehow bolster the case against Iraq....

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Pentagon threatens to destroy indie press satellite positions

I saw a comedien called Jamie Mathieson at a comedy club last night, this was his bit on iraq.

War with Iraq is a lot like Anal Sex for three reasons;

First You can dress it any way you like, it still feels like an invasion

Second It could be very very painful, unless you use the oil.

And finally you're pretty much guaranteed that you wont see bush at the front.

Heh.

[Click to view comic: 'Pardon my freedom']

Excellent.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Bush literally tries to slash the value placed on human life

Veterans Are Angry

Good article. "The Arrogant Empire"

Pitty this terrorist act didn't get more press.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

It's scary that some people are actually trying to make out that she was in the wrong.

It looks like there are lots of folk out there who will blindly support any atrocities carried out by the Israelis, and if you have the cheek to criticise them then you are automatically branded an anti-semite.

Further confirmation that the War on Terror is the poor man's Cold War, complete with priceless public service releases:

What should I do if there is a terrorist attack?

Well, you could do a lot worse than check out that site.

quote:

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It looks like there are lots of folk out there who will blindly support any atrocities carried out by the Israelis, and if you have the cheek to criticise them then you are automatically branded an anti-semite.

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here is today's interesting snippet for the "It's all about OOOOILLLL" whiners:

"(AP) -- Canada's largest independent oil producer can be held liable for genocide if it can be proven it cooperated with the Sudanese government to wage war on civilian populations near oil fields, a judge ruled Wednesday.

Talisman Energy Inc. cannot escape trial on the civil claims contained in a class-action lawsuit filed on Nov. 11, 2001, District Judge Allen G. Schwartz said. A lawyer for the company did not immediately return a telephone message for comment. . . .

The lawsuit accused the company of collaborating with Sudan to commit gross human rights violations, including murders, forced displacement, war crimes, confiscation and destruction of property, kidnapping, rape and enslavement.

It described the current Sudanese government as a "Taliban-style Islamic fundamentalist movement" that was engaging in a "war of genocide" that has already claimed two million lives and displaced four million people, with the violence aimed at wiping out Christians and those practicing religions other than a strict form of Islam. "

Pot...meet Kettle.

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

I'm not sure how this makes the current Gulf war not about oil, or who is supposed to be the pot and the kettle.

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What others say about boorite!

Hey Andy,

I got onto some ranch group's email list (how the fuck should I know how?). I keep getting these goofy messages from people who may be all right in a few ways - just nothing that has anything to do with me. Then one of them starts sending out French bashing jokes to the entire list. So I stole your George Washington line and posted it back. I'll let you know if they drag me around behind a horse or anything.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

America is too calm

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Told you so.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

As if. Just try getting any where close any one of the Bush administration.

On a recent century bicycle ride in the Waco area, the 100 mile route came within 3-5 mile of Bush's ranch in Crawford. The route had been preapproved by the Secret Service, yet that did not prevent them from stopping bicylists. Did they expect to find weapons of mass destruction on bicyclists wearing tightly body-fitting spandex?

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Maybe they were hiding pretzels.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Maybe they were hiding pretzels.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

McCarthy's ghost

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Evil GOP Bastards .com

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

http://www.chaos.org/thoughts/snippets/show/20030327

http://www.chaos.org/thoughts/snippets/show/20030328

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

http://minime.de/bush/

Takoma the dolphin is Awol. I hope he's having a good time somewhere.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

A good reason to visit Santa Cruz, CA: "The Saturn Cafe in Santa Cruz is temporarily changing the name of their French Fries to 'Fuck George Bush Fries' and 5% of the profits go to the impeachment fund."

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

That's kind of like that other one where people were trying to change french fries to "freedom fries."

This town ain't big enough for the two of us, pardner.

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This is my signature.