Because they have that certain je ne sais quoi.

Gas or electric?

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Gas. It can at least blow shit up.

Why is the internet so full of freaks who think they have a "lifestyle?"

Because the internet itself is a lifestyle.

"Pointe of No Return" or "Here There Be Monsters"?

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Here there be monsters for no other reason than this isn't the "Who would win...?" thread goddamnit!

Is the pot of jambalaya in my fridge that's been there since middle of February still good?

Sources reveal that it would be foolish to eat Valentines Day  jambalaya after St Patrics Day.

But, can I still have a bowl?

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

Yes. But, you can't have any arrows.

If black people were made of actual chocolate, would it be racist to eat them?

---
Shame on Us for All We Have Done. May God Have Mercy on Our Dirty Little Hearts.

Only if they can eat White Chocolate.

Is it worth getting a Playstation 3?

---
The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

Only if you have 'wallet lube'.

If my granny falls over in the middle of the night and there's no-one there, does she still make a sound?

If her hearing aid is working, then yes.

Why did I just forget what I was going to ask?

A Cow Wrangler!

What is the capital of Botswana?

---
That was Explicit

[Click to view comic: 'Botzwanadu']

[Click to view comic: 'What is the Capital of Botswana II']

It's time I was planting my garden. I have abig garden because otherwise I would have a lawn, and the landlord would expect me to mow it.

Ok, I have flower seeds and fruit seeds and vegetable seeds, but I don't have any pot seeds. Does anybody want to mail me some pot seeds? Also acceptable would be poppy seeds or tobacco or coca seeds.

---
woof

You don't grow pots from seeds, idiot. You just buy them at the hardware store.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

a country has a preisdent

when was the last time u masturbated?

It would only count as the "last time" if I never masturbated again, and that ain't likely.

Why do we have to pay for stuff? Can't we all just get stuff for free? Even the cool stuff?

---
The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

Because if we didn't pay for stuff, there'd be no way to distinguish who's better than us.

Why are thongs so terrifying?

It really depends on who's thinging the thong. 

How many Bradeys are in a Bunch?

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

Nine if you count that coked-up maid of theirs.

Why can't I phrase a question about furries and their incredibly mistaken concepts of animal biology without getting so astonished at the idiocy that I just stop thinking?

Because you belong somewhere on the top two-thirds of this chart.

Why isn't there a Law and Order channel yet?

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Because most channels are already the Law & Order channel.

Why do birds suddenly appear?

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

It's called an illusion, Micheal.

Sup?

---
Poop.

Word.

If a tree falls in he forest, and no one's around to hear it, who cares?

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

The poor bastard under the tree.

If a cargo train carrying magnesium leaves Chicago at 9:12am travelling at 45 mph and another cargo train carrying water leaves Dallas at 11:40am travelling at 50 mph, how long will it take for the crash to show up on Spike TV?

23.015 seconds.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

In the end, it would only be 5 sheets of paper.

Why do microwaves have a frozen pizza button?

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

For the same reason they put that "Potato" button right next to it.

How's your television reception been after the digital transfer?

---
Ham-fisted ham fisting.