A Tiger in Hand is Worth 2 in Bush by brycekain 4-09-10

Stay tuned for your Tiger Woods Return to Golf countdown... I don't know if I'm going to be able to stand it! 3 hours and 51 minutes... CRAP.

A Tiger in Hand is Worth 2 in Bush 2 by brycekain 4-09-10

The Countdown continues with 4 hours remaining... I can't believe he's finally coming back! The fallen hero...the underdog... the tears...the triumphs... This is going to be amazing! 3 hours and 32 minutes to go... *bouncy bouncy* *bouncy bouncy*

A Tiger in Hand is Worth 2 in Bush 3 by brycekain 4-09-10

2 hours remain in the Tiger Woods Return to Golf Countdown... oh boy! oh boy! 1 hour remaining in the Tiger Woods.... This is going to be so good!! 30 minutes to go... must.....maintain.....

A Tiger in Hand is Worth 2 in Bush 4 by brycekain 4-09-10

And now the moment you've all been waiting for! Tiger Woods has returned to golf! Let's watch!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOHOOOO!!!!! GO TIGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO TIGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO TIGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzz...

 

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A Few Good ...Men... by brycekain 4-10-10

You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!! I just wanted to know if you pulled out. Geez...

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Meanwhile, Down in the Basement by brycekain 4-19-10

Ever think to yourself, "I'd turn gay for him." but then realized you were looking at a picture of Scooby Doo? Quit stalling and fist me.

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Happy Hitler's Birthday! by brycekain 4-20-10

In celebration of 4/20, we Klansmen would like to make this public service announcement. We'd like everyone here to know that the Klan has become more of a peaceful, accepting organization. We adopt highways. We clean up litter at puppy shelters. We even help the elderly cross the street and change their diapers. *sniff* That was beautiful, man. Ok, Paco. Buttsex time. Score!

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The Beginning of Man: What They Won't Tell You by brycekain 4-22-10

Behold, Lilith. The Garden of Eden. What more could you ever want...? Well...I could use some make up. And get me a bra will you? Oh and a maid cause I ain't cleanin' up no man's bullshit... Behold, Eve. The Garden of Eden. What more could you ever want...? Well, I tell you what! I'll look round this here place if'n I can get out da kitchen long nuff n such! That reminds me, I need to go blow Adam. It's almost Springer time!

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The Genesis Flood: What They Won't Tell You by brycekain 4-22-10

They aren't doing what I want them to do. Yes, but they seem happy. But...they're not doing what I WANT them to do!! But, sir, they seem... FUCK IT! Flood the bitch. Time to call the Doc and up your meds again.

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Because KFC Cares...About Your Tits... by brycekain 4-23-10

For Mary... For my cousin Jane... For every pink bucket of chicken you buy... KFC will donate 50 cents to fight breast cancer. Bill? It's Doctor Bob. Take all my money out of mutual funds and dump it into liposuction clinics! We’re about to hit PAY DIRT!!

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How You Remind Me by brycekain 4-25-10

Is it time to put my tampon in? Uh...no...? Is it time to put my tampon in? NO! Is it time to put my tampon in? What the fuck are you? Canadian??

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R.I.P, My Man by brycekain 4-25-10

Welcome to Heaven, Darrell. Wow, this place is beautiful! We ask that you treat everyone here like you want to be treated and don't hesitate to share with your fellow man. Sounds fine to me. You know, I wasn't much of a believer, but I think I may be quite happy in this place. Oh, and you can't smoke grass. Right. Where the fuck is the elevator to hell?

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Loaded Weapon by brycekain 4-28-10

What were you doing in the back of my car?? Seriously, Officer, I wasn't doing anything. I find that VERY hard to believe. Why? First off, you're covered in cum. I'm just happy to see you...?

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A few good... men .... nice one. So my humor level/type.

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I had a pet chicken once , his name was Bill, we were good friends. Damn that Colonel , damn him to hell!

Thank you.

COMIC CUP XIV: An Error in Comedy by brycekain 4-30-10

Thy kindey stones hang flacid in thine fatty tissues, Sir Ham! Thou dost mocketh me, young lad. Hold thy tongue or a lashing from gristle and lard ye shall receive! Thy threats do maketh mine testicles ache with pain from a sound so uproarious in mine belly. Thy future be graven if things be taken careth not. Could be the end is this? With words of ridicule and mockery and thy, and thine, and thoust? Huh? Fuck it. Cut em off.

 

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Never Ending 6(66) by brycekain 4-30-10

You rang? What's this I been hearing about you tempting Eve in the form of a snake? It's not what you think. Really? Well, first she saw my penis ...

CTC #1: Just Say....uh......... by brycekain 4-30-10

...so that's why we're out here protesting. Really? I never knew that about hippies Hippies????? We're Jews Uttering Spiffy Tran-Sexual And Yummy Necrophiliacal Orgasms!! I just barfed and got a boner at the same time.

 

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Rofl nice Comic Cup entry. I wish that had been my prompt there would have been more to work with

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Resident Masochist & Adrenaline Junkie -I'm probably not god but you should worship me just in case-

Thanks, man.

Inspired by COMIC CUP XIV, Round One, Match Two by brycekain 5-01-10

O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father, and refuse thy name. Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet... WOOOOOOO!! SHOW US YOUR TITS!!!

 

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Oops! Forgot to post my entry for Comic Cup XIV, Round One, Match Two:

COMIC CUP XIV: An Error in Comedy by brycekain 4-30-10

Thy kindey stones hang flacid in thine fatty tissues, Sir Ham! Thou dost mocketh me, young lad. Hold thy tongue or a lashing from gristle and lard ye shall receive! Thy threats do maketh mine testicles ache with pain from a sound so uproarious in mine belly. Thy future be graven if things be taken careth not. Could be the end is this? With words of ridicule and mockery and thy, and thine, and thoust? Huh? Fuck it. Cut em off.

 

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Oops (again)...I did actually post it. Damn I need caffeine today...

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Mmmm Caffine...Make that two please...

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Resident Masochist & Adrenaline Junkie -I'm probably not god but you should worship me just in case-

Don't Ask, Don't Sing Show Tunes Off Key Gawd Dammit!! by brycekain 5-04-10

♫ Oh what a beautiful mooooooorning...! Oh what a beautiful daaaaaaaay...! ♫ Sorry, but you brought this on yourself... What the...?? Don't worry. He was gay.

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Sticks and Stones May Break My Ego, but ... eh, fuck it. by brycekain 5-08-10

...and then she says that I'm always tripping over myself in anxiousness self-promotion! Can you believe that? HAHA! Now way! Are you hurt? Oh PLEASE. Like I care. I'm too busy pumping iron and scoring with all the ladies! You're THE MAN! 20 minutes later... Hey, where's Bryce Kain? In the bathroom cryin' like a lil' bitch.

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There Once Was a Reverend Named Boinky by brycekain 5-12-10

Reverend Boinky, today is Limerick Day. Can you PLEASE keep your sermon clean? Of course, Sister Mary. In fact, here is what I intend to say: There once was a man from Nantucket... REVEREND!!! No no, my child, it's not what you think... Oh ok. Go on then. There once was a man from Nantucket. Now show me your cunt.

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STD #2: The Retardening by brycekain 5-12-10

Can you guess when I fucked TheCreatorOfStrips in the ear? Friday Night? No, that was his dad. I bashed his turd cutter in with a squeegee. I didn't know you were into fucking the retarded?

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brycekain

Bingo!

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.