Which Is Worse? by ragu4u 7-25-10

I'm sorry sir. That's not allowed in here. I don't see a "No Smoking" sign. Smoking is not the problem. So what IS your problem? You failed to see the one sign that we do have. It says..."No Shitting On Floor". That's not MINE. It's second hand shit.

Buying a Used Car by ragu4u 7-26-10

Come out here sonny. I know you went & bought that car. It was a great deal, ma. I'm paying for it today. I'll bet this "great deal" cost you an arm and a leg. Actually, I talked em down quite a bit. How much? 50%

Re: Beseeching the Father Pt.2 by ragu4u 7-26-10

What now, Mother Inferior? It's that Bigworm guy again, Father Weenywhacker. Bashing God again, is he? Sort of. He went and told some hobo wearing "Depends"... ...to bathe his genitals on the Sancuary curtains.

Future Surgeon by ragu4u 7-26-10

I'm ready to learn surgical technique, doc. A mask isn't enough. Gather your instruments ... ... and meet me in the operating room. 30 Minutes Later... C'mon, let's hack up some more shit, doc! No wonder these Charter Schools are failing.

Cock-Eyed Optomist by ragu4u 7-26-10

Welcome to Wal-Mart...home of clothes with built in tracking devices. I need you to track the panties my wife is wearing. It appears her panties have been at the downtown "Y" for the past 3 hours. Where exactly? I'm sorry to tell you but....in the men's locker room. I'm not jumping to conclusions. Maybe she's just a cross dresser.

1st Day on the Job by ragu4u 7-27-10

Hey there. I'm a CSI tech. Seen any suspicious types around? grr uh... Well, you've got my card if you do!

To Each His Own by ragu4u 7-27-10

What's the difference between a Matador & a car salesman? You stab the bull & I shoot it? I hate you smart ass, gringo fuckers. You know, you'd look great in a sports car.

The Duke of Oil by ragu4u 7-28-10

Hey...aren't YOU the "Duke of Oil"? This invoice says you paid $41,000.00 for this Chevy VOLT. Yeah, what about it? That's kind of expensive for a car you have to plug in every 40 miles, ain't it? Just being able to say..."Socket' to me...when I need a fill up, makes it worth every penny. God...save me from the "green people"!

It's the Little Things..... by ragu4u 7-28-10

I saw you on "The View" today, Mr. President. How did I look? You looked, obviously, upset. sir. Well wouldn't YOU be after those "Jim Crow" tactics? What ever do you mean, sir? Oh, so you don't find it strange that they sat that fine white pussy as far from me as they could, huh?

Diversity in the Workplace by ragu4u 7-29-10

Hey Rex, come here. Look at this alligator feeding frenzy on YouTube. Sweet! *burp*...There went the diet!

Swap Meat by ragu4u 7-29-10

Ellen Degeneres is out and Jennifer Lopez is in at Ameican Idol! Good move, replacing that cold, pasty looking dike... ...with a sizzling "HOT DAMN"!

PULL! by ragu4u 7-29-10

C'mon little girl. Pull my finger. Twernt THAT bad...twer it? Definitely, twer!

Foot In Mouth Disease by ragu4u 7-30-10

Yes, I said it, Michelle but you're taking it out of context. You called African Americans a mongrel people. How could you? I cleared it up by saying that we're just all "mixed up". Oh, THAT"S much better. Don't be so paranoid. We have nothing to worry about here. What do you mean WE? I'M the one with the birth certificate, not you.

Sesame Road by ragu4u 7-30-10

Maybe this guy will give me a lift. Waka, Waka, Waka How bout a rida, rida, rida? Oh oh. Chicken shit, Muppet!

She Who Laughs Last.... by ragu4u 7-30-10

And that's the way it's gonna be, Ma. So you're throwing me in a home, huh sonny? I'm sick of taking care of your decrepit, sorry ass all the time. I understand my boy. You can have them come get me after I take care of something. With Ma & Her Lawyer But are you sure you...? Damn straight. Reword my Will so that no good son of mine gets absolutely NOTHING.

Aquitted By the Skin of His Teeth by ragu4u 7-31-10

I can't believe they dropped the sexual assault case against Al Gore. I guess they lost the photo of my cock I sent them... ...to compare against his dental records.

Beauty and the BEAST-iality by ragu4u 7-31-10

Yo, Maura...the john is in 302 ...but be careful...he's horny as hell. So what else is new? He sure is horny alright. Hungry? Let's eat a little something first, my dear. I'll have room service send us up some soggy newspapers for gnoshing & a few unrinsed tin cans. I'm gonna need a tetnus shot after I'm through with this old goat.

She's Her Mom's Girl by ragu4u 8-01-10

Isn't this Clinton wedding just marvelous? Absolutely, except I'd have made just two changes. Those being...? Get rid of the Dike in the green MooMoo and lose that butt ugly bride. Harumpf! Obviously, a Republican gate crasher.

Straighten Up & Fly Right by ragu4u 8-01-10

Oh my god, stewardess, what just happened? I think we've been hit by an R.P.G. What? We're not over Baghdad, are we? Uh uh...Rhinebeck, New York. Damned Secret Service.

CTC 8 (Oy Vey) by ragu4u 8-01-10

Panel 1- Then, Panel 2- Now Who are you and where did you come from? My name is Eve, Adam...and you DON"T want to know. Let's see, how do I put this gently... After A Lengthy Explanation... So God was like a big old butcher that circumcised you from my body, huh? That's the Jewish version but, yeah...kinda.

Shore Leave by ragu4u 8-01-10

And the Emmy Award for Best Dialogue in a Reality Series goes to....."Jersy Shore". Now which of you talented writers will come up to accept the award? Fuck you, cock sucker. Eat me, bitch. Suck my ass. You ain't nuttin but a big pussy!

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Mean Streets by ragu4u 8-02-10

Is this "THE" East St. Louis where crime runs rampant & 1/3 of the cops got laid off? Uh, yeah. I'll bet your morale must be in the toilet, huh? Sometimes. But why not come see what makes it all worth while? I give motivational talks to 5 year olds. A Short While Later... Why the camo, and why do I need THIS? For protection. The key is to blend in. These lil fuckers can aim pretty darned good.

Tolerance by ragu4u 8-02-10

Iranian women suck at playing Rugby... ...but I love their outfits.

Oops! by ragu4u 8-02-10

I would like to take this time to apologize to my "fan" out there, who will remain nameless, that has been let down by my strips. I'm sorry for having used such harsh language and X-rated themes. So what'll it be? 5 Our Fathers & 3 Hail Marys? Make it quick cuz I got some serious pooch screwin to take care of, Crabby. No names! You promised me, no names!

Heet Me! by ragu4u 8-03-10

Sheriff Joe Arpaio, in Maricopa County Arizona, had a one million dollar bounty put on his head by a Mexican drug lord. ONE meelion? I said TEN meellion dollars. Oh well, Maybe I just go keel heem myself. God knows I can use the money to save bullfighting & sheet like that. Then, eef I fail to pay myself...I just put out another heet on........ Uh, wait a meenut.