Charlie Chan: On the Case by ragu4u 10-30-10

Beats me, Mr. Chan. The last thing I did was give the Captain ... ...a new ink toner cartridge for the cockpit computer printer. Ah, so!

The Gay Blade by ragu4u 10-30-10

If you hate kids so much, why even open the door on Halloween? As I recall, it's just too much fun not to. FLASHBACK Trick or treat! OK kid...just a sec.... Hey...this is more damned fun than putting razor blades in apples.

Hitting Below the Belt by ragu4u 10-31-10

Mr. President, why do you let FOX News fill your rallies with hecklers? Are you blind? What, sir? Everyone knows all the hottest white women work for FOX. You're thinking with your "little brain" again, sir. That got Clinton in trouble. You mean I've got a different one?

"Les" Miserable, No More by ragu4u 10-31-10

NYC trying to pass law making it illegal to whistle and catcall at women. That's ridiculous! NYC trying to pass law making it illegal to whistle and catcall at women. How silly is THAT? NYC trying to pass law making it illegal to whistle and catcall at women. It's about time!

The C.I.A. (Re: Black Ops) by ragu4u 10-31-10

It's wierd. I just feel more accepted on Halloween. That's easy to explain. It is? Sure. EVERYBODY wants to be a spook on Halloween.

How One Man=Three Votes by ragu4u 11-01-10

Thank you all for coming out to the "Get Out the Vote" rally! We can't let the GOP run us off. Where's the Cheez Whiz and crackers? They'll be coming, I promise. Now listen. You said we'd each get a "40" of Old English. Wa's UP? This is more important. We HAVE TO save the Dems. You must vote. We'll you ain't getting us all to vote three times like two years ago, without our crackers & beer.

Big Boss Man by ragu4u 11-01-10

Bentley, how are you and "you're people" going to vote tomorrow? My people? You mean YOUR black domestic help? Your words, not mine. Sir, you treat us as ignorant, inferior slaves who can't think for ourselves. Then you have the unmitigated gall to ask how WE"RE going to vote? Well? I reckon we'll takes the bus, like every year.

Erection Night by ragu4u 11-01-10

Hooray! We've won! Is that dude a Democrat or a Republican? I don't know but he sure looks like a "tea bagger" to me.

And the Winner Is........ by ragu4u 11-02-10

...and San Francisco wins the World Series! Oh baby, I'll bet that devil sure is pissed at Texas! I tried to tell him their chances sucked. Oh well, who needs snowballs, anyway!

Sounds of Silence

U.S.A. State Capitals, Nationwide Hello...any liberals still here? *cricket...cricket...cricket*

by ragu4u, 11-02-10

Fair & Balanced by ragu4u 11-03-10

Did you notice all the hot white women in mini-skirts who got elected last night? You were watching FNC, weren't you? As a matter of fact, I was. Those were the anchors & news readers you horny moron. Remember that Laurie Dhue? You could see the crack of dawn.

Don't Tell the Pope by ragu4u 11-03-10

NEXT! C'mon, move it. Serving # 660 Gaggilion! Lord, no one is left. That abortion thing wiped them all out. Good...I never liked em anyway!

Don't Raise A Stink About It! by ragu4u 11-03-10

Hey Billy, do all old people smell like pee? Pretty much. Except for the ones that smell like shit! Damned colostomy bag!

On the Road Again by ragu4u 11-03-10

Do you mind? No. Go right ahead. I just love it when the circus comes to town!

Calorie Police Know Best by ragu4u 11-04-10

Somewhere in San Francisco... A Happy Meal, please. No way kid. Those are for fat-ass, pork chop, obese couch potatos. Daddy, this lady won't sell me a Happy Meal. Lady? Why you little mother fu.... Then why did you sell ME this 1,000 calorie fish sandwich? Obviously, you NEEDED it. Fish IS brain food ya know.

And Nothing But the Truth by ragu4u 11-04-10

Ok son, what's with that crazy South African Pastor? You mean the one who is saying I was HIV positive? Yeah. What's up with THAT? You gotta believe me, dad. There's no truth to it. I want to see some proof. Oh ye of little faith.

Getting "Into" Your Job by ragu4u 11-04-10

I'm here to see about a job opening. The job openings are in the next room. See if you find one you like.   ?   I tried to get into every opening but I just couldn't. I guess I'll have to hire a midget.

Wisdom of the Aged by ragu4u 11-05-10

Keith Olderman was suspended for donating to Dems. So he went and donated to dems, did he? Sometimes I be thinkin dees guys don't know when to leave dems alone.

Equis by ragu4u 11-05-10

Gonna mount up? Yer sick, dude.

Stuck Up by ragu4u 11-05-10

I need to stick this in your pooter Yeah? It won't hurt and it will even help you feel BETTER. Really? I promise! That's what HE said!

Who's the Boss? by ragu4u 11-06-10

Barry, I need to run to the store. Wanna come? Will we need the plane, Michelle? Don't we always? %$##%, woman! Don't you know it's ten million bucks everytime we take out the plane? The citizens are pissed. OK, OK...we'll go to Wal-Mart............................in Rome! Damnit. I hate those pointy toed penny loafers she buys me there.

Oops! by ragu4u 11-06-10

Pardon me miss, but would you consider posing nude? Certainly. Ok then, let's go to my apartment and you can get naked. WHAT? Honest...she said she'd be glad to pose naked. She didn't mean for YOU, Bozo!

Wasting Wood by ragu4u 11-06-10

I got a buck here somewhere. Now for $10, guess what I'll let you do to her? That's OK. A bucks worth should do it. Sounds like you need some Viagra, boy. Why waste good Viagra on a dead woman? Go figure. It happens every night, all around the world.

The Cream Filled Cookies Are Best by ragu4u 11-07-10

Here we are are again, Father Joe. Another Sunday and NO parishoners. Don't worry, Sister. If you just hadn't put the GHB in the wine last month. You mean on "Girl Scout" Sunday? What harm did I do there? We now have 25 pregnant 11 year old girl scouts. Have those sluts see me in the confessional.

Bargain Healthcare by ragu4u 11-07-10

What should I do with all these complaints about our HMO, doctor? Complaints? Why would anyone complain? Well, there have been an unusual number of deaths, doctor. Hey, sick people die ya know. Oh and... ...you shouldn't really call me doctor until we see if I get my license back.