My, My! by ragu4u 12-24-10

Don't try and stop me. I'm leaving you forever. Wait. I'll be lost without you. I'm begging you... Hours later.... You look terrible. I'm gonna kill myself. But why? My life, no longer, has any porpoise!

"Bah, Humbug" 2010

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere we... Aw, shad ap!

by ragu4u, 12-25-10

The Audition by ragu4u 12-25-10

We've chosen to do the.... Let me guess...the "Can-Can", right? Wow, that's just creepy!

Strike the Pose by ragu4u 12-26-10

And how's the new job going? It's brutal Doc, if you must know. Still being razzed about your weight? Daily! It's always..."How could you let yourself go like this."....and...."You better shape up or you're outta here." I can't stand it, Doc! Maybe modeling just isn't a good fit for you. Now there YOU go with issues about how things fit. Look, I may APPEAR chunky in spots but it's all because of the poor dress designs.

Private Lessons by ragu4u 12-26-10

So how did the choir sound at Midnight Mass, Sister? I hate to say this but you missed some of the higher notes. I know you can do better. How would YOU know? I've heard you sing extremely high notes before, many times. Like when. Like when you're practice "Take it Like a Man" alone with Father Joe. Very, Steven Tyler-ish!

It's NOT Over, When It's Over by ragu4u 12-26-10

Well? Allah promised me 72 virgins if I martyred myself. I'm here to collect. Well here I am. Allah has cloned me, so ALL the martyrs virgins are clones of ME! This is joke, no? NO! You got me and 71 others just like me, baby. I think I'll convert to Hindu. At least THEY get "do-overs".

He Who Has Ears, Let Him Hear by ragu4u 12-26-10

What now? You must repent. OK! How's this? I said "repent", not "repaint".

Global Warming?

I told ya we shoulda went to Disneyworld, Mama! This IS Disneyworld, ya little brat!

by ragu4u, 12-27-10

Mixed Fruit by ragu4u 12-27-10

Oooh, nice banana. Can I EAT your banana?   ?   Why, sure. Just let me get this plantain out of the way, first.

"Live at Forest Lawn" 3/10/1988 by ragu4u 12-28-10

Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin alive, stayin alive... I'm afraid it ..... ...won't bring him back, my boy. Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin aliiiiiiiive,

The "Know It All"

Wanna bet?

by ragu4u, 12-28-10

FOX News: The Birth of Our Savior by ragu4u 12-29-10

I'm here in Hawaii to interview the only person who KNOWS Pres. Obama was born here. Thanks for coming. N'K. So? How do you know? Cuz I said so. Ya just gotta have a little fait..... That's spin and a non-answer. Time's up. Back to you in the studio, Shep. Well shit!

X-Ray-ted

Hey, do you mind? Sorry. I used to work for the "TSA".

by ragu4u, 12-29-10

Solidarity! by ragu4u 12-30-10

My car is parked here somewhere. Your snowplow buried it, asshole! Hey buddy, I didn't do that and besides... ...you can't talk to a Union Member like that. So how do I KNOW you didn't bury it? I told ya. I'm Union. We get the day off when it snows.

The "Machine" by ragu4u 12-30-10

I'm inside the "Playboy Mansion" interviewing Hugh Hefner. Good evening, Hugh. Can we make this snappy? My fiance is waiting for sex, AGAIN. Certainly. My only question is this...how are you able to keep having sex hour after hour after hour? It's simple. When one girl gets tired I grab the next one in line.

Year Old Sour Grapes

This is for mis-numbering my banner last January, you dyslexic S.O.B....

by ragu4u, 12-31-10

Twister's No Game

Sunset Hills, Mo. New Years Eve Cel-a-bra-tion time, c'mon!

by ragu4u, 1-01-11

Rich Getting Richer Dept. by ragu4u 1-01-11

So Tiger, you've won 72.5 million dollars in 2010 and didn't win one tournament. Yeah, so? Don't you feel a wee bit guilty? Would you? Well played! Just par for the course.

The Taxman Cometh

Fork it over. Not my leg. too?

by ragu4u, 1-02-11

The Sucker

Well, blow me down. That'll be an extra $50!

by ragu4u, 1-02-11

Secondhand Is Like New by ragu4u 1-02-11

Not another kid masturbating? I feel like I'm being watched. I'll inflict pain on him to make him stop. Ahhhh! I blistered my hand again. This kid is a lost cause. Good thing I got lots of lotion & another hand!

The "Stink" Shrink by ragu4u 1-02-11

You're a stupid Dung Beetle.... ...so why am I afraid? Low self esteem!

Too Much of a Good Thing by ragu4u 1-02-11

OK Tyler, now turn your head and cough. *cough* Perfect. 30 Minutes Later... Just one more time? If THIS condition lasts 3.5 more hours, call a doctor.

"Burning Bush" The Director's Cut by ragu4u 1-03-11

(7) Moses, Thou shalt not commit adultry. (7) Moses, Thou shalt not commit adultry. (7a) Moses, Thou shalt not masturbate. (7a) Moses, Thou shalt not masturbate... (in public).

ragu4u: Reflections by ragu4u 1-04-11

Egads! CC 466 is over and I've wrinkled some feathers. It appears many are not happy with my choice for the winner. I have only one recourse. Off to the crapper where I free some of my best ideas. Hope ya remember to spray after ya emancipate them ideas.