Back in the Day by ragu4u 2-27-11

C'mon, ma. Watch the Oscars with me. No way! All the winners are whores, drug fiends and queers. No their not. Then call me when Mickey Rooney wins.

Try Again by ragu4u 2-27-11

Father Joe, can you believe that horrible woman used the "F" word on the Oscars? Did she really? What an absolute pussy! WHAT did you call her? Cunt?

The Entertainer

Sung at a Proctologist's Convention.... "What kind of stool have I...?"

by ragu4u, 2-27-11

Exodus by ragu4u 2-28-11

I can tell you saw the Oscars last night. How? You're leaving the country in shame, correct? Damn, he's good!

Sour Grapes of Wrath by ragu4u 2-28-11

Rachel Maddow has been chosen to be the new face of our MESS-NBC. That lesbian bitch? She will do a fine job heading up this network. She's got a tatoo on her ass that says..."Melva's cunt." Watch for her specials on the good done by anti-smoking groups. Ha! She's always got a pack of Lucky's rolled in her tee shirt sleeve.

Bee-Bop by ragu4u 2-28-11

Why you gots ta always bees like dat? To be or not to be a bee? I think I'll be's a bee. At's zactly what I'm talkin bout!

No Sale by ragu4u 2-28-11

Welcome to "Chen's Laundry". You got dirty habits? What? Wait. Let Chen rephrase.

Jew Talkin to Me? by ragu4u 3-01-11

I just love your clothing designs. What the...? You are John Galliano, correct? Why the hell bother wearing this scratchy outfit?

The Entrepreneur by ragu4u 3-01-11

Honey, I could hardly pay the bills this month. We could always move to London & you could sell your breast milk to make ice cream. Did you forget that THESE are implants? They're more silicone than milk. Hmmm... I got it! What? Get a breast pump. We'll sell the stuff as caulking.

Bombing Till the Cows Come Home by ragu4u 3-01-11

I can't believe Col. Kadaffi is shelling his own people. You can't expect him to eat em with the shells still on, can you? Pro-government, bovine bastard!

Medieval Etiquette by ragu4u 3-01-11

Ah...you must be Thor. Actually no... ... but I am a tad achy. Tho nithe of you to athk.

What's Wrong With This Picture? by ragu4u 3-01-11

Go Cheerleaders! GOOO... OOO ...OOOO OOOOOO TEAM! What, no T &A?

The State of the "UNION" by ragu4u 3-02-11

Wisc. Governor's Mansion 2012 Can't someone fix the damn toilets around here? The plumber said he wouldn't come, Governor. He's Union! You'd think he would have been taught to show up for work. All the teachers quit. They're Union, too. Well then call the cops on whole damn lot of them. I don't think I'm getting through to you, sir.

FTC 150 Remix by ragu4u 3-02-11

One potato, Two potato... Three potato, Four! Five potato, Six potato... Seven potato... More? Nah! I'll stick with "The Magnificent Seven."

Say What? by ragu4u 3-02-11

Hi there. Wanna be a "goddess" of mine? Sure, Mr. Sheen. First, how do you feel about BJ's? Butter and jelly? They're OK, Mr. Sheen, but PB&J is best. Sorry kid, you won't do. I do anal!

The Unkindest Cut of All by ragu4u 3-03-11

Not again?

No Wemawse! by ragu4u 3-04-11

I'm sowy faw cutting you off. Pweese don't go all "wode wage" on me. Pweese? Wode wage? Hey...you weally should watch.... Yeah, dude. You should hear how this dipshit talks. It's Hilario.... ...the wode faw oncoming caws.

The Forest For the Trees by ragu4u 3-04-11

Please describe the suspect. He was pale as all hell, wit big ole orange eyes, stinky ass ears and feet wit the longest toes I ever DID see. Clothing? He was wearing like a purple and orange cape...and he had a head as big as a Rotweiller! Well ma'am, with THAT description he should be easy to find. I'll have my partner scour the neighborhood. Aw, damnit Sarge. I'm sick of having to do that all the time.

CC471 Bedtime Stories by ragu4u 3-04-11

Hickory dickory dock, this gal was suckin my cock. When the clock struck two I shot my goo and blew her to the end of the block!

Any Cock'll Do by ragu4u 3-04-11

What are YOU in for? I killed a guy over a cock fight. Why? It was just a cock fight. Yeah...Well it was bad enough he beat my balls blue; but when he almost ripped off my foreskin...THAT'S when I lost it!

Pacifist Vampires by ragu4u 3-05-11

Home so soon? Our food source has dried up! Because? It's those damned birth control pills. What the..? They've caused the plumpist tampons to, practically, become extinct.

Observations in Nature by ragu4u 3-05-11

You notice how more & more humans seem to do strange things with bananas? Strange, how? They cut em up and put em on cereal. They put em on PB&J sandwiches. That is wierd! Any thing else? They even stick them up each others butts. They're just feeding the gerbils.

Poetry In Motion by ragu4u 3-05-11

Give us a poem for the ages, great sage. The surest way to know you're old; is when you try to think. Instead of having brilliant thoughts; you tend to strain & stink. I said "ages", great sage, not "aged"! I'm a busy guy. Take it or leave it, Padre!

Voice of Experience by ragu4u 3-05-11

Going to see Father Joe today? Maybe, why? You'll need some knee pads? Knee pads? Anything else? A bib wouldn't hurt. Kneepads? A bib? Maybe I'll get lucky & he won't be home.

Is a Wise Guy Smart? by ragu4u 3-05-11

Well Butch, did you bring enough for everyone here? !$%$# Well, did you? I did if today was Sunday! Settle down class!