Zombie X: Doing What It Takes To Be Accepted VII by Screendummie 4-19-05

Sometimes, you just have to get the knee pads out to be accepted. All the long and short time paying users will be whipping it out. Its always good to watch porno to learn some excellent hummer techniques. Be sure to always swallow, unless they prefer you to spit. And if you go blind, then its the price you pay for the stars. Its all about the stars, buddy!

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Doing What It Takes To Be Accepted VIII by Screendummie 4-20-05

Once it appears being a whore is enough to allowed within the ranks. Be perpared never to ever disagree within the ranks. Always love the samething! Always hate the samething! Be sure your humor is exactly the same as others. Because being an individual is to cliché.

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Zombie X: The Latest Of George Foreman Junk by Screendummie 4-21-05

You can try out my latest line of "Knock Out" products. Just try my "Knock Out Diet System"! Its guaranteed to loose you pounds in thirty days! The secret behind my patent system is simple. When you go to the fridge for a snack, I knock you out! That virile, chocolante hunk pounding me! Give me the number!

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: I Love Milkshakes! by Screendummie 4-21-05

I think my "milkshake" could bring all the boys to the yard. What the hell is a "milkshake" anyway? I think it...ummm...I don't know. It was that one stupid song. Then why in the hell did you say that? Because my "milkshake" does bring them all to the yard! Damn right its better than yours.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

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Zombie X: REAGANOMICS! by Screendummie 4-22-05

I just bought this sweet t-shirt today! What the hell is it? Well, its red, loose fitting and has his image on it! Ga? I got this kick ass tax cut when I bought it too! REAGANOMICS!

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Zombie X: Gummie Bears by Screendummie 4-22-05

Gummie bears! What aboot them? I wuv them! Buy the 5 pound bag. There's a way to kill myself faster? Sweet! Breaking news, you're dead already!

In case you forget, and want to point out something stupid and inane. The gay guy is already dead. He lives in Gay Heaven.

Have a nice day!

--S. Dummie

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Zombie X: Larry Loin's Press Conference by Screendummie 4-23-05

Did you hear Larry Loins press conference last month? Or was it the month before? What was Loins saying? He was saying that "steriods don't help you in baseball, they don't help your eye-hand coordination". Yeah, I heard that stupid shit. It certainly doesn't help your intelligence.

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Zombie X: Earth Day Blues by Screendummie 4-24-05

I love Earth Day! Me too! I enjoyed cleaning up everyone's Earth Day garbage this weekend! Nothing like going to a park and dumping your garbage to celebrate! Let us not forget the millions of you that decided to drive your car to your Earth Day event. Nothing like the smell of smog in the morning!

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Zombie X: Razor Burn by Screendummie 4-24-05

If I gave you five bucks...would you shave your ass? Yeah. Not like I have a hairy ass anyway. Um...not from a couple point of views I've seen. Umm, well you must be re-re-re-re-retarded. Cause I don't Am not! Sure.

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Zombie X: For Blondie Lovers by Screendummie 4-24-05

I listen to Blondie, does it make me a fag? Yes, yes it does. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna turn on my Michael Bolton albums. Woohoo! SAUSAGE FEST!

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Zombie X: The Makings of a Cartoonist I by Screendummie 4-24-05

Hey, did I tell you aboot the comic my friend is making? What komic? He's drawing his own comic for the interweb. He'll be like the rest of the whores on the web? Anyway, the characters in his comic are gonna be people in his life. Like what everyone else does?

Zombie X: The Makings of a Cartoonist II by Screendummie 4-24-05

Meaning he's gonna have me in it! *Glee* And I'm gonna be a Communist. Can I be the arch-conservative capitalist yankee dog? And what do you mean like everyone else? Most comics are about fictional characters. Anyway, he was trying to put Che on my shirt I never wear. Based on experiences. He couldn't find a decent picture, so he's gonna put that scythe thing on it instead. Experience? Yeah...what ever experiences an asshole can have.

Zombie X: The Makings of a Cartoonist III by Screendummie 4-24-05

Dude, I didn't say based on his experiences, I simply said he's putting people he knows in the comic. Learn to read my lips! Yeah, the experiences of the people he knows. Der!

Zombie X: The Makings of a Cartoonist IV by Screendummie 4-24-05

No, he's gonna make up the stuff that's in his comics. He was just too lazy to think of new characters, so he used people he knows Der, der, der, der! Now I need to grope your doggie! Der!

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Zombie X: Filthy Monsters by Screendummie 4-26-05

You know, I always wanted grandchildren. I don't think that would've been possible. We could've fed ducks, or gone fishing or saw a baseball game. Yeah, you keep dreamin' there. Ah...who am I kidding. Children are little, dirty, deseased ridden monsters.

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Greatest Zombie Komic in the Universe

Zombie X: Re-re-retard! by Screendummie 4-26-05

In her toughest role ever! Made to hold her sister's hand as she rides the bus. She struggles daily with the choir of keeping breakfast in her bowels. And yet she faces a challenge even greater than herself. Hot damn! Rosia O'Donnell in "My Sister Pukes When She Rides the Bus with Me." Rosie as a mongoloid! Hot damn!

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Zombie X: Bout It Bout It by Screendummie 4-27-05

Bout it bout it, foo! You know, I heard the Village People use "bout it bout it". Why do you have to go ruin something for me? Why, are you insecure? Yes..er no! Christ, I hate you! Guess you're not a real "Macho Man."

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Zombie X: Learned Anything Yet? by Screendummie 4-28-05

Learned anything in school today? Yes... Buwahahahaha! Thats a funny funny joke, dad.

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Zombie X: If You Were Gay by Screendummie 4-29-05

If you were rendered gay, what guy would you like? Me. That's not being gay. That's just self-love. Oh. Me? Yeah. God you're stupid. Yay!

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Zombie X: Career Reports I by Screendummie 5-01-05

My report on my career choice is "hippie rancher". I know that this field of work yet exists, but I hope to make it a thriving industry that thousands of American workers will depend on. The hippies that I'll raise will be mostly be "free range hippies".

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Zombie X: Career Reports II by Screendummie 5-01-05

I don't think any of this makes sense. Yeah it does. I'll breed a whole race of hippies on my ranch. Isn't that illegal? Na...because they'll be smokin' pot and having thier little pinko communes to leave. They'd never go to the "pig" authorities they say they hate. Won't some escape? That's what the little tracking device is implanted. Their heads will pop like melons like in the "Running Man" if they escape.

Zombie X: Career Reports III by Screendummie 5-01-05

But why would you do this? Because it essentially will lead to me releasing my hippies into the environment. With "brain wipe" first before they go, of course. "Brain wipe"? Once freed, they'll be protesting every government body in the US, because hippies don't believe in working. The government will hire people like me to drive bulldozers to plow through them. And this will stimulate the economy in your bizzare scheme? Shit yeah! Imagine all the DEA and FBI agents being employed. And all those guys selling hippies dime bags. And the twinkie manufactures selling to starving hippies!

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Zombie X: Career Reports IV by Screendummie 5-01-05

Somehow I find this all unconstitutional. You yanks think you can do whatever you want. You damn limeys aren't any better. What makes you say that? British 1910 Official Secrets Act. Did you really have to make the foreign exchange teacher cry? Limey bastard had it commin'. Let him cry a river in his piss warm lager.

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Zombie X: Here I Stand Up Again by Screendummie 5-02-05

I'm gonna do stand up again! JOY! You're full of emotion at my anouncement. I was hoping that was only a joke. I wasn't joking. What a coincidence! I wasn't either!

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Zombie X: Holy Mad Cow by Screendummie 5-03-05

So I like met this cow while I was waiting for my transfer at the bus station. He was fuming how his bus to Texarkana was late. He was certainly one mad cow!

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Zombie X: Bad Joke by Screendummie 5-04-05

What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop clop clop? An amish drive-by shooting!

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Zombie X: Another Bad One by Screendummie 5-04-05

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?'' The other replies, "Oh, sure I do." The first asks again, "What do you do about it?" The second old lady replies, '' I suck a lifesaver. '' After a few minutes. The first old lady asks, ''Who drives you to the beach?''