Wild Child by ragu4u 11-01-11

Instead of giving me a kiss, can I reach under that skirt and grab ya like a 2 fingered bowling ball? I think you better leave NOW! You just never know about those Pastor's kids.

The News is Out! by ragu4u 11-02-11

"Justin Bieber knocks up 20 year old." Tape at ten. Knocks up? Momma, what does "knocks up" mean? Ask your, shitbum of a father. Daddy, as a shitbum of a father, would YOU know what "knocks up" means? I told that worthles cunt of a wife not to bring THAT up till she was at least 10.

Eat Me! by ragu4u 11-03-11

Carrot? Yep. Hasenpfeffer? Yep. Want some? Filthy scum bag. So that's a "no"?

Hard Time by ragu4u 11-03-11

You'll be here a month so do you need anything special, Ms. Lohan? A month? That's right. But my lawyer said.... Are you kidding? The judge will never let you... Gotta go. Anything more than 10 minutes gets me "stir crazy".

Percs by ragu4u 11-04-11

Gonna watch "Glee" this week? There's gonna be gay sex. Gay sex? What's dat? I can't believe it. Three years of watching TV and she still doesn't know what gay sex is. Maybe daddy knows. I'm gonna ask him. Oh that old fudge packer knows allright. I can vouch for that. Daddy, Gabe says you're a fudge packer. Did you let him lick the beaters?

Downfall of Italian Neighbors by ragu4u 11-04-11

Take him avay! But he is your lost cat, right? He was next door. He vas, up until he ate all that garlic bread. He is kinda ripe, ain't he?

Forever Young by ragu4u 11-05-11

"We interrupt this program to report that Andy Roony has died at the age of 92". He was due to die soon. He never learned how to live forever. Now back to the show.... He needed to be surrounded by youth. Ready for dinner, my husband? Damn straight, bitch-ette. And my dinner better be as hot as the pussy you give up to me after dinner.

"YOU talkin to ME?" by ragu4u 11-05-11

Psst. Look in door #1! Huh? What? No,no. Over here...door #6! Ventriloquists suck...even after death!

Eh? What'd Ya Say?

Oh! So this is a CHESS competition?

by ragu4u, 11-06-11

I read all 74 pages. And they're all shit.

Payback by ragu4u 11-07-11

So who's gonna play ME in the new movie? Well Mr. Maddoff, I got Robert Deniro signed sealed and delivered. Wait! I screwed him out of a fortune. He'll do a terrible job. Not to worry. He's putty in my hands. You talkin to me? YOU talkin to ME? I'll take every dime you ever made and shove it up your ass. That's the kinda cocksucker I am. Brilliant Mr. Deniro, but try it once more with a tad less Travis Bickle.

Misidentification by ragu4u 11-08-11

Too bad about Joe Frazier, eh? Huh? He died. Don't you stay up with the times? What do ya mean? I do! I even bought one of his stupid grills.

Criticism Hurts by ragu4u 11-09-11

R.I.P. Heavy D "The girls, the girls they love me.... ""...the overweigth lover Heavy D". I don't know why people be grieveing yo fat ass. It ain't like you was Sir Mix-a-Lot or nuthin! How's this..."I like big butts and I cannot lie...."

Out On the Town by ragu4u 11-10-11

You filthy little maggots. I'm gonna drown every one of you. We should be home by midnight. What's the new sitters name? He looks kinda creepy. Jason Voor..something.

Penn State: Foggy Memories by ragu4u 11-11-11

Mr. Sandusky never touched me as a boy.....hardly. Mr. Sandusky told me it was a rectal growth hormone.... It wasn't THAT bad. Mr. Sandusky only had me hold it in my mouth till it went limp.

The Sub by ragu4u 11-12-11

Hey Mr. Hardick, is it true Sasha Grey, the porn queen is coming to read to us today? Only partially true, Peter. Oh? Actually, she'll be doing the reading..... ...while we fellas do the cumming. Subs are so cool!

The Movement by ragu4u 11-12-11

So...you're the leader of this "Occupy" mob? There are no leaders, moron. Well who makes the agenda? There is no agenda. So you're all out here with no leader, no agenda and nothing to do, huh? Pretty much. It's kinda like herding cats.

Ill-logic by ragu4u 11-13-11

Can I help you? The church was empty again this Sunday, Father. Could it be your preaching? The Parish Schools get emptier every year, Sister. Could it be your lack of tits and ass? Touche'.

Family Ties by ragu4u 11-14-11

"I'm Chelsea Clinton, reporting for NBC News...goodnight." It sure wasn't her looks that landed her that job. "I'm Chelsea Clinton, reporting for NBC News...goodnight." I bet her mom got her the job. Senator Clinton's Office.... "I'm Chelsea Clinton, reporting for NBC News...goodnight." She's so cute. I don't care if she is my daughter....I'd do her!

Always Lock the Door by ragu4u 11-14-11

Hey ma! Dad's been watching DVDs on cooking. I think he's gonna make your birthday cake. Oh really? How wonderful. Say...what kinda cake is Bukkake, anyhow? RALPH!!! In the kitchen....NOW! I can tell ya this...it looks like icing must be a big part of it. Get to your room. I don't want you to see the bloodshed.

Shop Talk by ragu4u 11-15-11

It's makin funny sounds. Check it out, OK? Ok. Pop the hood. After further inspection... Well? It looks as if you've blown a seal. How could he have known? A SEAL??? You cheating s.o.b.!! I'm outta here.

CC 490:The Scrubby Dutch Woman by ragu4u 11-15-11

Hey bitch, you be lookin fine. Wanna come work fuh me? No way, loser. Absolutely not, you lowlife...not with this new bod and new looks. You bitches sure be gettin all "high & mighty" all the sudden. Meanwhile, back at Granny's house... It's only gonna cost ya $100, deary! OK I guess, but did you REALLY win on "Extreme Makeover"?

Parenting Gets Difficulter & Difficulter by ragu4u 11-16-11

You're very disappointing, young lady. For what? You stole 4 checks out of my checkbook and cashed 3 of them. So would it have been better if I cashed all 4? Don't confuse me. There will be no dessert for you tonight. I still get to drive the Porsche, right?

The Old College Try by ragu4u 11-17-11

I better leave. Mmmm! This shower must only be for Penn State coaches. Yummm!

Poking Fun... by ragu4u 11-17-11

No! I don't want THAT up my butt! Alright for you, young man. Then I guess I'll just have to go get the one that's as big as a turkey baster. NOW she's talkin!!!