The jellyfish one was great. Aaahhh...peanut butter.

MKF

Talk of the Town by ragu4u 12-09-09

It sho do be seemin like Kwaanza is all the shit these days. Please stop speaking in Ebonics, will you? Oh, so de young brutha be too good to be's rappin with his peeps,eh? There you go again. I can't stand it. I'm leaving. Wait. Allow me to apologize? I sometimes get carried away in the moment and forget the position to which I've attained. My nigga.

Opening Day by ragu4u 12-10-09

One for "Avatar", please. That film is whack. Ya'll needs to be seeing "Precious". There's nothing in that film I can relate to. Oh...and you can be all relating to dat space cowboy freaky people shit, huh? Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry. I already hate yo sorry ass. I'm going on break, sucka.

Momma's Boy by ragu4u 12-11-09

Say Tiger, have you EVER got ANY black poon tang? Well uh...... ...if being born counts, then YES! MY nigga.

I wish I said this...

The difference between me & Tiger Woods is that I STOP after three HO's.

by ragu4u, 12-11-09

Truth Be Told by ragu4u 12-12-09

Here's your registered letter, bub. Say, is it true that you Federal workers average over 71 grand a year? You want this or not? I just think it's too much to pay you people for terrible service. Oh, so us losing this letter from the lottery board for a year that said you had a week to pick your fortune is a "BAD" thing? Not to a guy who makes over 71 grand a year, it appears.

Render Unto Tyler....

Now THAT'S a lot of soap!

by ragu4u, 12-12-09

Texas Holdhim by ragu4u 12-13-09

This is Houston Texas, lady. We don't need no lesbian mayor here. Really? That's an odd statement coming from a guy who "pokes cows" all day. Steers and queers....that's what everyone will think. Whatever.

Worth a Thousand Words by ragu4u 12-13-09

I'm so flattered. Nobody EVER wanted to paint MY picture before! Well... ...maybe they've already done their version of "Crack Whore".

Pregnant Pause

So when's the due date? !@$#%

by ragu4u, 12-13-09

Being Nosey

My father's father was W.C. Fields. Why?

by ragu4u, 12-14-09

Can You Read Me Now? by ragu4u 12-14-09

Why did you have to let him go? He couldn't keep his tweets under 140 characters.

Practicle Jerks by ragu4u 12-15-09

It's from The Golden Globe Awards. Oh yeah? It's says you've been nominated for best actor... Really? How's THAT possible? ...for your portrayal in "Can Can"! Those fuckers!

Race to the Exit by ragu4u 12-15-09

Tonight, we have with us Jamalia. Tell us why you're here tonight. Because I, too, had an affair with Tiger Woods. Nobody will EVER believe he had sex with YOU, lady. You sayin I'm not pretty enough. No! I'm saying you're not white enough. {sigh}

Those Silly Girls by ragu4u 12-16-09

What happens when the Phillipine volacano, Mayon, fully erupts? Everyone must run to safety. And those who don't make it in time? Are melted into Mayonase, I guess.

Fill er Up!

Sir, the all you can eat buffet is next door, if our portions are too small.

by ragu4u, 12-16-09

Cool Reception to "Global Warming" by ragu4u 12-17-09

I don't believe a word of this "Global Warming" crap. Lots of scientist disagree so how can you say that? Oh, just little stuff, here and there. Like? Like it being one below zero here. Is that some kinda low for Needles, California?

Now you see them... by ragu4u 12-18-09

You sick, Mr. Obama? You're so damn thin. Iv'e been thinking about asking you the same thing, Mr. Jobs. Let's just put an end to all this and leave. OK. We'll just make a 1/4 turn right and walk off the stage. Hey...quit walking up my heels, Mr. President. Sorry, Steve. But why are you walking so damn slow? Ya sick?

"Read-Shmead...Call us when it's time to vote." by ragu4u 12-18-09

Is the GOP really going to read the entire health care bill in open session, sir? I'm afraid so, Rahm Now we have plenty of copies for the entire congress, so there's no need to push and shove. What Congressmen? We're spectators. All the Congressmen left.

Tis the Season by ragu4u 12-19-09

Merry Christmas, mouse. Drop dead, pork-chop! Hey, don't you believe in the Season? If you mean "honey-glazed", then yeah...I love that seasoning. You're pathetic! Hey, how long can you hold a Red Delicious Apple in your mouth without eating it?

Holiday Shopping by ragu4u 12-20-09

Welcome to Wal-Mart. "Whips n Things" is closed next door and I need something festive for the holidays. Well, we sell mistletoe. C'mon, how lame is THAT? It can clip on a belt buckle. I'll take two.

D.C. Pussies by ragu4u 12-20-09

Massive snowstorm predicted, sir. Prepare to shut down the government, Rahm. We may receive as much as two inches, sir. Why didn't you say that, Rahm. Hells bells, begin the evacuation.

Sunday at the Jersey Shore by ragu4u 12-20-09

Hey, mudda fugga, come out or we'll crush yer balls like walnuts. Dats right, you pussy jerkoff, you don't be jackin us Jersey boys around. Come out and I'll let ya go down on my barely used muff. Hey bitch, when he comes out I'm suckin him dry...then you can let that hairpie of yours fuck him up good. Scared dickbag? Come out! At times I wish I were back in my Bronx Parish.

Split the Difference.

Damn, man...she wanted a ride on your "cycle". Oh.....my bad!

by ragu4u, 12-20-09

Kids Left Unsupervised by ragu4u 12-21-09

Hey dude, I just hacked S. Korean & U.S. Military Control. Sweet! Wanna see me fuck up some shit? Radical, man. Moments Later...... So, I guess this ain't thunder, huh?