The Hasty Retreat by ragu4u 2-05-12

The women in this library are all so plain. I'd sure love to find me a real curvasceous bookworm. Moments later... Whoa! Not exactly what I had in mind. Where did he get off to so fast?

Long in the Tooth by ragu4u 2-06-12

Well, that whore pulled off the 1/2 time show last night in great fashion. Pretty much so... ...but I could still smell the "Ben Gay" all over her, even at home.

Another Comeback Kid by ragu4u 2-07-12

So, Madonna, what's with the reddish hair? Since my "Super-Bowl" triumph I've decided to start a new world tour in Tel Aviv. But the hair...? It makes me look more like a Kaballah spouting Jewess now, doesn't it? I think you could shave your head and they'd make the connection. Shaved heads were once BIG with the Jews. Cool. Then I'd already be set for my following tour date in Nepal where Tony Shaloub runs a monastery.

Location, Location by ragu4u 2-08-12

.....Amen! What was he praying about? The usual. He wants a "Hooters" built here.

Crime of Omission by ragu4u 2-08-12

Tell me what happened. Well...this handsome guy walked up to my door, then, just passed by. That's it? He didn't touch, molest, fondle or rape you? Then what's the crime? Hello? Sorry. I forgot who I was talking to.

The Edge by ragu4u 2-09-12

Welcome, young man, to St. Louis, Missouri; the new chess capitol of the world. We've got more winners here than anywhere. But aren't some of these checkers, not chess pieces? Yours are. We call it "the home team advantage".

Litterbug by ragu4u 2-11-12

I can't believe I was sent way up here to dispose of space junk. Thank goodness, I'm saved! One down....a million to go!

The Blind Pimp by ragu4u 2-11-12

I think you been taking vantage of my blindness, bitch. Me? Never? Then howcome you not bringin in them Benjamins like my other ho's? You ain't no ugly ass skank, is ya? Me...ugly? No way. Let's just call me unique. Well unless you got feet growin outta yo unique head & hands outta yo ass, you best be makin me some cash, bitch! Oh dear!

The Race Card by ragu4u 2-12-12

Whitney Houston has died at age 48. I knew shit was gonna go down like this... ...as soon as she hooked up wit dat bad boy..... ...Kevin Kostner.

Shotdown by Prepubescence by ragu4u 2-12-12

So, you really want me to come in? It depends. Do you want to come in? Or do you want to CUM in? Excuse me? Didn't you say the same thing twice? So you think they're the same , huh? Must I spell it out for you? Uh, well...er....yes! Goodnight, you little faggot loser.

No Passengers by ragu4u 2-13-12

On the Mississippi Riverfront..... The Gateway Arch sure is awesome. What the f...? Arggg!!! Damn these Asian Carp!!!!

Valentine Blues by ragu4u 2-14-12

"Roses are red, and violence is too..." You mean "violets are blue", you stupid moron. Um..OK..."Roses are red and violets are blue, you stupid moron." DAMNIT!!!! I've had it with you. I'm outta here, imbicile. Can you return these flowers to the cemetary for me? TAXI!

"I call." by ragu4u 2-15-12

Underground bunker in Iran Not to worry. Those Israeli bastard dogs are bluffing. Your body double doesn't agree, your greatness. Oh... ... snap!

The Tie That Binds by ragu4u 2-16-12

Nice tie! Thanks. It's a clip-on. Please, don't mock me.

Pants on the Ground by ragu4u 2-17-12

As soon as Phreaky passes by I'm gonna jump her. Damn these button-fly jeans.

Ad-Homonym by ragu4u 2-17-12

I'm stronger than you think. Oh yeah? How much can you bench press? Uggghhhh... I'd say about...hey, where the heck did he go?

The Long Goodbye by ragu4u 2-18-12

"The state of Illinois will soon pass a law making it illegal to have sex with a dead person." What? .........Amen! It's about time. I thought he'd never bury me.

Too Soon? by ragu4u 2-18-12

At the Whitney Houston Tribute "For I I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I will always.... ...love youuuuuuuu!" Pass me a tomato.

Ka-Chink by ragu4u 2-19-12

Those idiots at ESPN did it again. What now? They ran a photo of Jeremy Lin of the NY Nicks with a racist caption. That said.....? "A Chink in their armor" How truly unfortunate.

Two Cents Worth by ragu4u 2-19-12

That sure was a beautiful service for Whitney Houston. Hey...it's way more than that crack ho deserved. Come over here and tell me why would you say a terribly COLD thing like that? It's just how I roll.

Ohm My Gosh! by ragu4u 2-19-12

Step inside, then sit in the electric chair. I'm gonna fry yer bacon with one strong jolt, asshole. You can only jolt me once, right? If that don't kill me I'm a free man, right? Yeah, but I've never failed yet. Two minutes later...... I'm free! I'm free! I deserve a Do-over.

Recalling History by ragu4u 2-20-12

I wonder why nobody else is here to celebrate this great anniversary... ...of John Glenn orbitting the earth 3 times? Oh wait...here comes someone now. Great day, eh? Just what I needed...a mocking Canadian chimp!

Wow, you must have a lot of time on your hands.

SO DO I

---
whooooooo I make comics from boredom and stuff

Taking Up Space by ragu4u 2-21-12

Feb. 21st, 1878... New Haven Connecticut Telephone Company Well boss, we've got the nations first phonebook ready to go. Look at all these books. We only have 50 customers. You don't understand boss. All this IS 50 books. Egads! There must be 2 trillion pieces of paper here. Well, I did let the lawyers place a few ads. Well done, my boy! $Ka-ching$

Don't! Stop! by ragu4u 2-21-12

Hey bitch, get in here! Oh my...that bully wants me in there so he can rape me again... ...if I'm lucky.