Reports Shmeeports by ragu4u 5-03-12

This report says those who drink coffee die at an earlier age. Yeah, right. Tell that to Rex, why don't you? I beg to differ. I see how YOU think its premis is flawed.

A Wifely Ego Jab by ragu4u 5-04-12

ragu4u retires for the night... I think I'll hit the hay after another long day of comic stripping. What? I was just in here talking to myself, dear. I have to agree. Any day YOU strip IS comical.

Self Deprecation by ragu4u 5-04-12

in ragu4u's den..... I hate this. Nobody ever votes on my comic strips. Could it be that all my strips stink? 1000 miles away..... ...my strips stink? ...and I thought pig shit stunk!

Overexertion by ragu4u 5-05-12

Your move. I said, your move. I'm pushing the buttons but the damned pieces aren't moving. You have to walk over here, pick them up and move them by hand. My thumbs are tired. Nap time.

$1,000.00 to Win #1 by ragu4u 5-06-12

At the Derby...... Butch, can you take bets for me while I go piss? Uh, yeah...I guess. Wanna make a bet? Yeah...."I'll Have Another" at a thousand bucks to win. Another? You gotta buy one ticket first before you can buy another. No! "I'll have Another". That's what I want!

$1000.00 to Win #2 by ragu4u 5-06-12

At the Derby.... Another what? You ain't bought nothing yet. C'mon...the race is about to start. Here's my thounsand bucks now "I'll Have Another. Sorry, too late. Race just started. Oh well, I probably never would have won, anyway. After the race... Thanks for covering for me, Butch. Say, where are ya going? Some guy with goatee in blue tee shirt and slacks just hung himself over top deck. Me go see.

If Ya Close One Eye... by ragu4u 5-06-12

Damnit, ragu4u! That's better. Now lay off the party shots.

The New Morality by ragu4u 5-07-12

Didn't I see you urinating on the parking lot on Cinco de Mayo? Oh my lord. I was drunk but how could I have done THAT? No, wait. On second thought, weren't you the gal giving all the blowjobs behind the restaurant? That was me, yes, but I'd NEVER pee in public. Good for you. Only filthy skanks do THAT!

Shoddy Preparation by ragu4u 5-08-12

There, how does it feel Abdul? As far as underwear bombs go, I've felt better. Not to worry, you'll get used to it. The TSA will never find it. Leave now and "Alah hu Akbar"! 72 virgins, here I come! Later, in jail.... You had to KNOW you'd get caught. The Imam never said I had to wear slacks.

Truth Be Told by ragu4u 5-08-12

So Mr. Travolta, I understand a masseur is claiming you grabbed his penis sexually. Total nonsense. Here's what really happened. Gee Mr. Travolta, I didn't realize you were bald as a cueball. Don't you wish you had a full head of hair like mine? All I wanted was a massage, you little "Blago" look alike. Grrr... So, I grabbed his cock and jammed it down his throat followed by a clump of his beautifully quaffed hair.

CC 554...Ungrateful by ragu4u 5-09-12

My ears are freezing. Can you help me? Maybe. These oughta work. Three days later... Why aren't you wearing those earmuffs I got you? They gave me "Athletes Ear".

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow by ragu4u 5-10-12

This just in: Vidal Sassoon has died! Big friggin deal. I'm glad. I used his products for years and my hair still looks like grass.

Imagine THAT! by ragu4u 5-11-12

Did you see the cover of "Time" magazine this month? Oh yeah, did I! That hot milf suckling that 4 year old boy is a doozy. They're subscribership will go through the roof. What were they thinking, anyway? Who'd subscribe because of THAT? Just think about it! hehehe Hey mom, I just bought a lifetime subscription to "Time" magazine. Crap! That fathead is right.

Hands On Training by ragu4u 5-12-12

Whatcha doin, Gabe? Reminiscing about my first sexual encounter. I'll bet she was some fine piece o ass, huh Gabe? Uh....not exactly! Darn! It exploded sticky stuff right in my hand.

Bugged On Mothers Day by ragu4u 5-12-12

Honey, what say we go out to eat for a change? Wow! I'd love to. It sure is dark in here. Where are we? Turn on th... SURPRISE! Homestyle. I hate you.

JMHO by ragu4u 5-13-12

I say old chap, did you hear that the dog Pudsy won "Britains Got Talent"? I'm not surprised. All those kinds of shows have, long since, gone to the dogs.

Leadership by ragu4u 5-13-12

Gov. Brown, California is 16 billion bucks in debt. What'll we do? Make English the mandatory language here. How's that gonna help. The state will then buy "Berlitz". That's why HE'S the Governor!

Wear & Tare

Got anything in a 60 "slim"?

by ragu4u, 5-13-12

Scopolamine, Anyone? by ragu4u 5-14-12

Wow! So you're the Colombian "Devil's Breath Plant", huh? Yup. Kiss you're free will goodbye, sister. You can't MAKE me do anything, buster. Oh yeah? Lay down and get naked, bitch. Look at the knockers on that babe! Double D's, I'd say.

User Unfriendly by ragu4u 5-15-12

Wonderful! My new "Jesus" video game just hit Facebook. What the...? ME, in a video game? Welcome to "GTA, Nice City"! Play Now? Meh...sucks!

Payback by ragu4u 5-15-12

Barry, the mailman is here with the Uzi you ordered on Ebay. What? There are no more mailmen? You fired them all? In that case, I'll lay out your Kevlar jammies.

SlurrrrrrrP! by ragu4u 5-15-12

Hello Brittney and welcome to "X-Factor" S'up, Simon? By the way, do you need me to tongue kiss that little Lavato tramp to boost ratings? Heavens no...but I do have a lovesick Doberman who'll require your attention, if you get my drift. Great. I hate that Lavato girl, but Beastiality? No problem. I knew a real trooper like you would take a lickin for the team.

"A hunk, a hunk of burning love!" by ragu4u 5-16-12

Outside the Castle of Henry VIII Welcome Sir Chopsalot! Your majesty. Needing another wife decapitated, sire? You knowest me too well, Chopsalot. Perhaps, as a variation, why not burn this one at the stake, my liege? Excellent idea, Chopsalot. I'll give the task to Sir Burnsmore, sire. You know what he always says..."A hot stake is better than a cold chop, any day."

Irrelevance by ragu4u 5-17-12

Breaking news: J-Lo leaving "American Idol". Uh... Tape at ten! Uh...um.... What the hell is "American Idol"?

Risk Mismanagement by ragu4u 5-19-12

Noon Friday 5/18/2012 I told you "Facebook" was on its way UP! It's now at $42 a share. It opened at $38. You want in? Wow...he's right. Maybe I better get in on this goldmine before it gets too expenive. OK...I'll buy 500,000 shares. 5/18/12... "Facebook" Closes at $38 Fuck me!