Kiss All the Girls For Me by ragu4u 6-04-12

The # 1 answer is...... ... Survey said... ...esophogael cancer. I always thought Richard Dawson would die from herpes.

Just Clowning Around by ragu4u 6-05-12

Yeah...my playroom is in the basement. I dunno... C'mon...it'll be fun. I got beer. Mom don't let me drink beer, Mr. Gacey but I'll take a Pepsi. Why do I gotta get undressed to get a pepsi, Mr. Gacey? Don't be so formal. Call me JW.

The REAL Winner by ragu4u 6-06-12

Johnny Walker is doing pretty good in Wisconson today after the vote yesterday. It's "Scott" Walker, you out of work, middle class nobody. I say it's "Johnny". I say it's "Scott", you loser. Later... Another Johnny Walker on the rocks, sir, for you and all your laid off Union buddies? Yep, three fingers, bar-keep...and keep em comin till my paycheck runs out.

"The Joker is the Only Fool..." by ragu4u 6-07-12

POTUS & the First Lady Yo, Michelle, what did you think of my joke about your exercise routine I made at the L.A. fundraiser? You mean the one where you said I don't "Go Down" enough? Yeah, that's the one. Pretty funny, huh babe? I gave it a pregnant pause and everything. Oh did you now? That's about all you'll be getting pregnant from now on, mister. But baby...... And I'll tell you THIS.....back goes that case of K-Y Anal lube you bought, funny man!

"Fear Factor" Telemundo Style by ragu4u 6-08-12

Why so glum, donkey? "Fear Factor" never paid me for my urine & semen. Urine & semen for what? They got a pair of twin hotties to drink a mug of each for their show. Why use mugs? Hey, now...settle down. This ain't Tijuana.

Training Isn't Everything by ragu4u 6-09-12

Bad news, race fans. "I'll Have Another" has been scratched from the Belmont Stakes today! Oh good. Now they have room for MY entry. Get my entry on the truck. We just have time to get to the Belmont Stakes. Your gonna run him at the Belmont? Finally he gets his shot. You're entered in the Belmont Stakes, "RollerBall". C'mon. it'll be fun. That's a mile and a half. It ain't happenin, fella.

CC 557 "Bums Away"! by ragu4u 6-09-12

Damned immigrant. Get outta MY country. You look like a bum. What? You heard me, Haji. So, I look like bomb, huh? Now I GOTTA blow shit up. Take THAT, patriotic prick.

Deliveries in the Rear by ragu4u 6-10-12

So this time your story is..."My brakes failed.", right Ms. Lohan? Absolutely, officer. But the black trucker said you tried to bribe him after rear ending him. It wasn't like that, exactly. Earlier.... So if you won't take money for your silence, what will you take? Do YOU want to "rear end" ME? Now THAT'S what I'm talkin bout, bitch!

Calling a Bluff by ragu4u 6-10-12

Iv'e got acid in this gun. Complain just once more about my service you worhless piece o shit. I dare you. You're slow, rude, undependable and worst of all...a damned bluffer. OK...forget the bluffer part.

Evolution by ragu4u 6-11-12

After World War 3 We're all that's left. The humans have destroyed everything. Let's celebrate. Celebrate? Are you mad? Soon, even we'll die off. Ya think? It's hopeless. We're doomed. Not necessarily. Hey, nice ass!

Catty by ragu4u 6-12-12

Did you see that Lady GaGa took a pole to the eye the other day? Oh really? Giving her ass a break, I pressume?

What goes up... by ragu4u 6-12-12

Sometime this month... 3-2-1...riftoff! Me so proud of my mommy. First Chinese woman to go into space. Goodbye mommy. Have safe trip. seconds later.... Back so soon, eh? She must forgot something.

ragu4u Dissed Again by ragu4u 6-13-12

Hmmm.SuzanneBowen is kinda new on stripcreator. I wonder if she likes to.... Watch it, buddy! Hey, RosyPalm never talks to me like that. Meh.

One Mellow Fellow by ragu4u 6-14-12

I think I'll go uptown to see my old dope smokin buddy He's in a top security meeting, sorry. With the "joint" chiefs, I bet.

Lemonade Out of Lemons by ragu4u 6-15-12

What's the verdict, doc? I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first? I guess the bad news, doc. I have to remove your penis, immediately. And the good news? You'll be dead by tomorrow night.

Jurrasic Pork by ragu4u 6-15-12

I can't seem to get it up anymore, Dr. Pig! It's the beginning of an epidemic in your species. It is? I'm certain of it. What's it called. A-Reptile-Dysfunction.

One Way To Get Elected by ragu4u 6-16-12

I, as President, have given amnesty to all the illegal alien youth here. Gleat news. Muy Bien. Got to ruv it. Soldier whispers.... Ungowa Bwana. Don't forget...as soon as they vote for Obama drop the "Cyclon-B" in the acid.

"...make the rockin world go round." by ragu4u 6-16-12

Whose butt looks better....mine or Coco's? I think mine does. Are you serious? Why not throw in Kim Kardashian? OK...her too. Mine is still finer. Isn't it? Well...I...uh... HEY! Where are you going? To get you the "Lens Crafters"coupon that I put in the recycling/

Snooze Cruise by ragu4u 6-17-12

At Grauman's Chinese Theater How's the premier of my film "Rock of Ages" going? It's almost over. The audience hasn't come out yet, Mr. Cruise. One Hour Later... Still nothing ? Nope. I'm going inside to see what the holdup is. Well? They're all asleep.

Life Without College by ragu4u 6-17-12

Get yer ass in here and gimme some lovin. I take care of you year round and I expect some damn gratitude. Hell, I let ya'll keep that damn fur coat you got. Now you darned well better start puttin out. I grew this coat myself, you perv. Her bitchin makes me wish I never became a shepherd.

The 3 Sided Fence by ragu4u 6-18-12

Ralph, if you insist on jerking off behind the fence naked, at least finish the fence fist. Where you clothes? Damn, I knew I forgot something!

My Theory... by ragu4u 6-19-12

I must run more tests to determine why the world's bat population is dying off so rapidly. Only blocks away... Hey, go to the cave and grab me another bat. I cracked this one on that hot shot up the 3rd base line.

Anger Management by ragu4u 6-20-12

The Confrontation I'm here with Alec Baldwin who just manhandled another paparazzi. hello Alec. What did you say? The Discussion The Resolution And if you ever stick that camera in my face again, I'll kill ya. It's a microphone.

Man on the Street by ragu4u 6-21-12

May I ask what you are doing here, sir? I've been here all day waiting to see history in the making and nothing has happened. Well, what were you expecting, exactly? My God man, the Supreme Court was to make several monumental decisions today that would effect the entire nation...but not a peep. This place looks deserted. This is The "Whitehouse", Stymie. The "Supreme Court" is blocks away. Sheee-it! Maybe I can still make it home for "Abraham Lincoln: Honky Hunter" on B.E.T

The Billy Ray Way by ragu4u 6-21-12

Daddy, I wanna get married. I'm afraid that won't be possible, Miley. But please daddy, I'll make the best wife in the world. Maybe so, sugar, but I can't allow it at yer age. Well when will I be old enough, daddy? I promise, after ya'll get real popular and rich, THEN, I'll get hitched to ya.