RCD:45 The Aftermath by ragu4u 7-10-12

Oh my lord....it sounds like a chainsaw in there. Sorry Phreaky. It's that beer & White Castle mix.

Having More Dollars Than Sense by ragu4u 7-11-12

Did you know both San Bernadino & Stockton California just went bankrupt, Mr. Moneybags? Really? What is this "bankrupt" you speak of? You're ARE kidding, right sir? Give me a hint.

Let the Seller Beware by ragu4u 7-12-12

In China I'd rike to buy the new "iphone 5", prease. That'll be $1,300.00. You got to be kidding. They're onry $1,100.00. Take it or reave it, buddy. What happen to you, papa? I thought you went to get a new "iphone 5"? I negotiated.

A Dream Come True by ragu4u 7-13-12

I'm sorry about your wife, sir, but we lost her. Can I view her remains? Certainly, sir. She's in the next room. You'll have plenty of privacy. Thank you, doctor. Try to say no to anal now, BITCH!

Dressed to Kill by ragu4u 7-13-12

Wow, looks like Romney may pick Condolesa Rice for his VP. This is so exciting. I'm gonna get dressed and head to the rally. Crap, I'm early!

A Pig In A Penn by ragu4u 7-14-12

Am I improving, sir? You truly are improving, my boy. I told you that a good work ethic DOES pay off. Now get ready for practice. Right away, sir. I'm ready coach Sandusky. I got the shower at the temp you like.

My Take on RCL no.3056 by ragu4u 7-15-12

I've caught you red handed this time, Thinker. It appears you have, Captain Obvious! You can come with me peacefully, or if you try to resist, I can make it very hard on you. It's your choice... It appears you have, Captain Obvious! Well..? I don't know about Thinker, but I'll go with the HARD ON!

Verbatim by ragu4u 7-15-12

OK baby, if you're so horny I'll be right over.... Hurry, I want to fuck like a rabbit. I'm on my way! Make it snappy. What?

Too Much Parental Involvement by ragu4u 7-15-12

You're behavior has been terrible, young man. Eat me, bitch! That does it. I want to meet with one of your parents after school today in my office. Good luck with THAT, ya cunt! 3:30pm Hey, ass wipe! My cum stain of a kid said you wanted to see me. "Sigh"

Man's BEST Friend by ragu4u 7-15-12

I wonder if he'll notice I peed in his milk ? Hmmm? Hey pal, did you pee in my milk? No, but the cat did. You're outta here, jackoff! What the....?

Holding Their Own by ragu4u 7-16-12

What's that? Puke in a box. Why did ya do that? Go look in the kitchen! blah, blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah......... Got another box?

Barack Obama: The Early Years by ragu4u 7-17-12

Barack, you know some day you could grow up to be president of the U.S.A. Really, Rev. Jackson? I thought I'd have to have been born here? Details, details. Don't sweat the small Stuff.  :)

ragu4u In Hospital...AGAIN! by ragu4u 7-23-12

Again? Again! What is it this time, you ask? Try Pancreas trouble like in Aug. of 2011. You know, somtimes I feel like doctors just get behind me & RAM away!

Could it be?........No Way! by ragu4u 7-23-12

So, ya gonna make ragu4u fight off the big "C" again this year? Been toying with the idea. So it's not officially a done deal yet? Nope! He's not really a bad guy. Why do you do that to him? I know, I know, but look at him. He just looks so darned funny when he squirms.

Motivation by ragu4u 7-24-12

One for "The Dark Knight Rises", please. Hey, aren't you James Holmes? Yeah, so? You look so stupid in that outfit. You brainiacs think you're better than everybody else. So beat it, you nerd. Everyone hates you. I'll be back! I just love demeaning those dweeby introvert types.

ragu4u's Test Results by ragu4u 7-25-12

Well sir, tests were all negative. NEGATIVE? Oh shit! I'm a gonner? No, no. In this case negative is positive. So you're positive it's negative? Yup! What the f___?

And Good For You, Too by ragu4u 7-25-12

So I see ya gave ragu4u another reprieve. Not a total one, tho. Explain. From now on he must eat nothing but wet, shredded cardboard and monkey urine. Couldn't he just be a Vegan? Hell no! Those people are nuts!

Buried in Debt by ragu4u 7-26-12

Now ragu4u is healthy again... Hi, how can I help you? I'm here to collect for that $5500.00 bad check you wrote. Oh, for the pre-paid funeral? That's the one. But I don't need it anymore. You will if you don't pay The Corleone Mortuary their $5500.00 bucks.

To Each His Own by ragu4u 7-27-12

Finally....the women's beach volleyball. WHAT? No bikinis? Screw this shit! Oh boy! Men's high diving. Yummy! The Speedos seem to get tinier every year, don't they Bob?

A Hunk, A Hunk of Burning Love by ragu4u 7-28-12

So, I understand that Century Cinema is paying for the funerals of those killed in the Aurora, massacre, true? Why, yes we are, Shep. That's quite a chunck of change, isn't it? Not really. The Corleone Mortuary gave us a great deal. Really? How so? Twelve people fit easily into a small dumpster and once doused with gasoline and lit one fire makes for one fast, easy and economical cremation. The 12 mason jars were donated by "Ball".

The Armchair Coach by ragu4u 7-28-12

"...and Michael Phelps barely qualifies for the 400 meter race." He needs to take off that stupid swim cap..... ..and start using them flippers God stuck to the sides if his head..

Squirreled Away by ragu4u 7-29-12

Are you sure they're lost, Chip? Yep Dale, and I don't have a clue where to look. I have an idea. Now listen... psst, psst, psst... No kidding? I never would have thought... Later.... Believe me, I haven't seen them. Don't lie to me. Dale says you have nuts in your mouth all the time.

Directions by ragu4u 7-30-12

I say old chap, looking for the Olympic Arena, are we? Why, yes. Allow me to direct you. I know you don't want to miss a moment of the excitement. But... I know. I know. You're thrilled just to be here. I hate sports! I want to know where the arena is so I can avoid it.

Pick a door, any door! by ragu4u 7-30-12

Door #1 Door #2 Hey...I got your ZONK hanging right here! Door #3

Everyone Complains by ragu4u 7-31-12

Listen, attendance is really down lately. I need more souls. Chill dude. I'm knockin em off as fast as I can. So why aren't they here? They CAN'T be in the "other" place, can they? One never can tell, these days. That whole "forgiveness" thing gets pretty attractive. Nice job, my boy! Thanks, pops but can't ya whip me up a hooded robe made of light weight cotton instead of that heavy wool? And that scythe...can't I just carry a Swiss Army Knife?