Olympic Gold.....(plate) by ragu4u 8-01-12

Look at them chink, sons of bitches, throwing that badminton game. They're trying to lose on purpose so they'll get an easier match up in the next round. It's shit like THAT that makes me not care that our women's gymnastic team are all on male hormones.

In the Swim of Things by ragu4u 8-01-12

RE: Chinese Olympian Miss Ye Shiwen? Yes. You bling me all this fan mail? Actually, Miss Shiwen, these are just SOME of the complaints accusing you of doping before you swim. That not my ploblem. Talk to my father. He my P.R. man. Ah so! What did you just call me? Some P.R. man you are. No wonder that kid of yours is jacked up like a muscle car. Have you no shame?

Nips in Trips by ragu4u 8-02-12

One for that flick with the three boobed woman. She's soooo hot! You want "Total Recall"? One day, maybe, but for right now I'm OK with my memory. Now, hows about that ticket? What ticket? Maybe it's YOU who needs total recall. Like you, I'd rather have three boobs.

WW79 Olympics Schmolympics by ragu4u 8-03-12

Are you here for the competition? Yeah, but why is everyone puking all over the place? Because THAT'S the event. And why the broom, may I ask? A broom is required in the Curling Competition. I didn't even realize puking was a sport. You've obviously confused Hurling with Curling. Someone is confused, but it isn't ME!

The Lion Snoops Tonight by ragu4u 8-04-12

I'm here tonight with Snoop Dogg. Good evening, Mr. Dogg. Nix nix on that Dogg business, homey. Excuse me? I'm now to be known as Snoop Lion, Reggae master, par excellance. So no more foul language, womanizing and rampant pot usage? What? No reefer? Actually, two outta three ain't bad, mon!

Don't Monkey With Gymnasts by ragu4u 8-05-12

Just jump up, grab the rings and swing around a bit. I'm not too sure about this. C'mon...you'll be famous. People will talk about it for weeks after seeing you on TV. OK...I guess. Besides, what could go wrong? During the Olympic Coverage... Them no good NBC sons of bitches. Gabby Douglas wins gold and then they run a commercial with a monkey doing gymnastics. Grrr.

Sikh and Ye Shall Find by ragu4u 8-06-12

Milwaukee Suburbs...8/5/12 Is that a pistol behind your back? Maybe. Who wants to know? Me, for I seek the truth. Oh....a Sikh, are you? Yes, this is our Temple filled with hundreds of worshipers. Wait... what are you doi.... I'll be back. I gotta get me something with a bigger magazine.

Well It's "Run For the Money"... by ragu4u 8-06-12

Men's Olympic 100 Meter Race Jamaica's, Usain Bolt wins with a new Olympic record of 9.63 seconds. So what? All them Jamaican's run fast. They have to... ...because a pick-pocket who can't run fast is a dead pick-pocket. In a side note...Mr. Bolt will now return to private life, selling wrist watches and billfolds on the streets of Jamaica.

The Minority Report by ragu4u 8-06-12

Yes, I mean it. I want to join the Army. Alright, lady Alright. But first I have to inform you... Inform me? About what? About the fact that 90% of women in the military have complained of rape or attempted rape. Still wanna sign up? Damn straight, I do. I want to ship out TODAY! The 10%ers will welcome you!

Money For Nuthin by ragu4u 8-07-12

You're FIRED! Actually, I'm glad you fired me. Oh really? And why is THAT? Because I now have an opportunity to make more money. All you'll be able to get are unemployment benfits, you dipshit. So? It's still more money!

Ate-a-puss Complex by ragu4u 8-08-12

Oh no, son...mom has left us for good just because I didn't like her getting a job.. Cool! Now we can drink till all hours and bang hookers two at a time. You just don't get it, do you boy? Oh, I get it alright. She's out of the picture and we can finally party like it's 1999. But I miss her already....desperately. So? We'll just order our hookers from the same escort service she works for. She may even give us her group discount.

Lancelot Meets Snookie by ragu4u 8-08-12

Forsooth, fair maiden. Thy bounty of bosom is ample. Uh.... ...ya mean like my cups runneth over and whatnot? Egad...the wench is of lowly breeding. I must begone. Yo, hard hat! Is dat ting like a chastity belt for ya mouth?

Ch-ch-ch Changes by ragu4u 8-09-12

What's with this "Black & White" stuff? Jazz me up a little, will ya? As you wish! What the fuck is THIS? Unless you want that pencil shoved point first up your ass, you better make... Ah...wise decision! Now hurry up! Bitch, bitch, bitch!

Stuffing the Box by ragu4u 8-09-12

The Day Before the Primaries... Hi hon...any mail? In your office. Are these...? Uh huh...political ads.

Sling Blade by ragu4u 8-10-12

That's it? Thanks! What the...? These damn bananas get harder to peel everyday!

The Successor by ragu4u 8-11-12

Well, Paul Ryan, how does it feel to be picked to run as Romney's V.P? VP? You mean I'll be #2...second in command, an understudy, the also-ran, and Mitt's general butt boy? Yes, in a way, I suppose! I'll tell ya how it feels. Yes? It feels like I'm just a heartbeat away from my destiny...bwahaha.

Such a Golf Course I got Fuh Ya by ragu4u 8-12-12

I can always tell when I'm playing on a Jewish owned golf course. Really? How so? By those subtle reminders of the penalty for not replacing your divots like the one behind you. Ouch!

Like Minded by ragu4u 8-12-12

I wonder if he's my clone? I wonder if he's my clone? I'll pitch if you'll catch. Mystery solved!

Hard as a Rock! by ragu4u 8-12-12

So tonight is your big date with "Phreaky", huh? Yeah and I'm nervous as hell. They say she can be frigid if she doesn't like you. Think positively. I'll even give you a condom. We'll meet tomorrow at the library and you can tell me all about it. Wish me luck. I'll need it. Next Day At the library I want my condom back!

Cine-Tech by ragu4u 8-13-12

I"m alive! I'm alive! Thank you Dr. Toborenstein. What? You can't see me? WHY!? "CUT"! Lose the screen. On the set of "Toborenstein the Invisible" The green-screen worked perfectly!

"For the Fatherland" by ragu4u 8-13-12

I'm surprised the Vatican supported this trip to Mars, Father. You shouldn't be. Why not? It allowed us to claim the planet for Christians everywhere. But wouldn't planting a flag have been more appropriate, Father? "Nobody ever cares what I think!"

Ba-Dump-Bump by ragu4u 8-14-12

S'up? What's wrong man, you look like hell? Problems at home? No, it's just that everyday I wake up crabby. That's too bad! "Crabbiness" isn't good. It's not THAT bad. She eventually roles over and goes back to sleep. ....... WHAT?

Inspiration by ragu4u 8-15-12

...and the winner is....brycekain! Damnit to hell. I've lost yet ANOTHER comic competition! "ahem"...I think it has to do with actually being funny, ragu4u. Henny Youngman? Is it really you? Take my wife....please!

Decisions, Decisions by ragu4u 8-16-12

Barry, you're gonna have to dump Biden from the ticket. C'mon Michelle, Joe is a huge part of my campaign strategy. You've got to be kidding, right? No, I'm serious. He's an integral piece of the puzzle. How so? "The Art of War" says that one must keep his friends close; but keep his moronic, idiotic, blabber mouthed V.P. much closer! Plus, he makes even ME look smart!