The Winner is "ragu4u" by ragu4u 10-05-12

So....I won WW:81, huh? I think only me and two dead bodies entered the damned thing. So now I get to create WW:82. I have something in mind that one might call..... ...poetic justice! "Oh brother, I'm gonna be sick!"

Never A Kind Word by ragu4u 10-06-12

1st National League Wild Card Game WHAT? "Infield Fly Rule"? That's a crock! The Braves are gettin screwed! "The fans are pelting the field and players with debris." Whoa! "Yadier Molina just tried to catch a thrown bottle and missed being hit by deflecting it." Bah! A REAL golden glover woulda caught the damned thing!

A Man's Got His Standards by ragu4u 10-06-12

What? Is she a virgin or not? WELL? It sure doesn't taste like it. The lousy tramp.

Back in a Flash! by ragu4u 10-07-12

Life is just so beautiful! Fuckin "flashbacks"!

A Little Dab'l Do Ya by ragu4u 10-07-12

It kinda.... ...uh... Shit on my head, right?

Java Jerk by ragu4u 10-07-12

Are YOU Juan Valdez? Well? You have coffee so you MUST be Juan Valdez, right? Not really. I'm wearing black, too. So I guess that makes me Johnny Cash, huh? Next time, try decaf, butt wipe!

Plagiarism by ragu4u 10-08-12

That's what I thought! Okay, I'll pass it on... I want in on these lazy man comics like RCLG makes all the time. That's what I thought! Okay, I'll pass it on... I want in on these lazy man comics like RCL makes all the time. Ya know ragu4u...you're a plagiarizing ass hole! You know ragu4u...you're a pl....... HEY...This never happend to RCLG!

Home Ec by ragu4u 10-08-12

2nd Period Home Economics Class Miss Seckts, can I ask you something? What's your first name? Sure, Timmy. It's Aural. So your name is..uh... it's um...Aural Seckts? Yes it is, Timmy! Why do you ask? No reason. I'm gonna go beat my meat now! Ah, ah, ah! Remember...we use marinade to tenderize!

Shoulda Wore Earplugs by ragu4u 10-09-12

Falling at 690mph is fast enough to... Is it time? I'll begin the countdown......10-9-8-7 On zero I'll jump... ...6-5-4-3-2-1-... ...break the sound barrier. OUCH!

A Dead Give-Away by ragu4u 10-09-12

Election Day 2012 So, is the voting being done in that room? Sure is. You better hurry. Your guy needs every vote he can get. My guy, huh? So who IS my guy? Well, you're a ghost, right? So you must be dead, right? Yeah, so? So if that don't just scream "DEMOCRAT" I don't know what does!

We Get What We Deserve by ragu4u 10-10-12

It Might Be... Less taxes, huh? Would I lie to you? It Could Be... 1% unemployment does seem mighty nice. Would I lie to you. And The Winner Is...Roseanne Barr! Geez, you're the greatest! Whatever...you freakin moron!

Catching Some Z's by ragu4u 10-10-12

Yo Willie, take dat punk kid & trow him overboard wit a pair of cement shoes on. You got it, boss! OK kid, off wit da coat & shoes. Yous goin to sleep wit da fishes! Oh no... It ain't so bad. We don't actually sleep. We just nap a lot.

Trick or Treating by ragu4u 10-10-12

Hey, why aren't you dressed yet? It's almost dark. Man, ya'll got the BEST costume. You like it, huh? I got one almost just like it. C'mon, I'll let ya use it. Great! You're a real pal! WHAT?! I don't think a BLACK neighborhood was the best place to start.

Pedaler or User? by ragu4u 10-11-12

You! You there! Say wha? Might you have performance enhancing drugs for sale? Why you be axing me? Do I LOOK like Lance Armstong?

Respect My Authority by ragu4u 10-11-12

I ain't takin no orders from no stinkin penguin! Oh really? Now go home & sober up, like I said! I hate teaching in Catholic Schools!

Special Delivery by ragu4u 10-11-12

January $50? $50! Time Marches On...... September I hate those pregnant pauses! Whaaa

Got It by ragu4u 10-12-12

Mama, when you were young did you like "The Beatles"? Boy, did I! I was their biggest fan! Why? Just askin. I sure hope you still got your autograph book cause their here, downstairs. What? You gotta be kiddin me! I'm gonna have me an orgasm. She's wet n wild, dude. When ya got it, ya got it & we got it.!

Washington Who? by ragu4u 10-13-12

Cards vs. Nats.... Game 5...3rd Inning Well folks, looks like St. Louis can pack their bags for good. They're down 6-0. Crap...I can't watch! Cards vs. Nats.... Game 5...7th Inning Well folks, looks like St. Louis is trying but they'll never take the Nats......NEVER! These announcers suck donkey di.... Cards vs. Nats.... Game 5...FINAL 9-7 What the duece just happened here? NEVER, huh? Eat shit and die you bozos! Frisco, here we come!

Critique by ragu4u 10-13-12

Damn that RCLG! He's got 69 followers. "You'd have more followers if your comics were funny, ragu4u"! Me? Not funny? "Well if the shoe fits..." Hrumpf! May lightning stike you if I'm not funny! NO! Don't say tha...

A Killer Vocabulary by ragu4u 10-13-12

Did you here what happened to the comic at the "Comedy Club"? No, what? Ben, the owner, told him to go out and do some self-deprecating humor but then it got ugly. Yeah? How so? Flashback! What? I said "deprecating" not decapitating, FOOL!

R.I.P. Mr. Collins by ragu4u 10-14-12

Gary Collins found dead in Biloxi, Mississippi at age 74. Oh my goodness. I remember losing my virginity to a vibrator & him singing "In th Air Tonight" on the radio in 1981. Now before all you older women go all damp in the crotch area, I said "Gary"...not "Phil". Oh well, I need to do a battery check on "old faithful", anyway!

The Scent of a Woman by ragu4u 10-14-12

So you really want me to try and hurt you? Hell yeah. You can't hurt me. Ok..here goes. Bring it, girlie girl! What? I didn't even connect! Whew....Ya ever hear of douching?

Rube Takes a Lickin by ragu4u 10-15-12

China Town.....Red Light Dist. Alrighty, my lil China doll, hop on this here pony and ride! OK..me rub you rong time. Oh no. It's never the wrong time for you to rub me. No mo rub fo you! You make fun of my Engrish! Oh well, I'd just be horny again in ten minutes, anyway!

Name That Idiom!

Nice costume, Chang! Ah, so.

by ragu4u, 10-15-12

Diametrically Opposed by ragu4u 10-15-12

Live long and prosper! Eat shit & die!