Celebrate by ragu4u 11-11-12

Argh, matey...why be ye here? You don't know? If I'd be knowin, I wouldn't be askin now would I, Bucko? OK, up there ....lower her down! Happy Veteran's Day, Popeye!

Kuwait's Golden Jubilee by ragu4u 11-12-12

You're gonna love these fireworks 3-2-1.... $10,000,000 worth of fireworks used... Well? That's it? Meh!

"It Just Happened So Fast" by ragu4u 11-12-12

5-9-15-34-46 and the Powerball is 10 Holy shit! I just won the Powerball. Yeeeehah!!!! Ooops...those were last week's numbers. My bad.  :(  After Neighbors noticed the stink..... I wonder why he shit himself?

Too Legit to Quit by ragu4u 11-13-12

Nov. 7th, 2012 "Yesterday, Washington & Colorado passed laws permitting pot use and same sex unions." It's about time. The Bible has always taught... ..."If a man lieth down with another man he shouldeth be stoned." Oh, Brucey! Grab the huka and meet me in the boudoir.

A Matter of Taste by ragu4u 11-14-12

Ya know an ear-ring makes ya look gay!   ?   Really? And just how do kilts make one look? Sexy, right? Wrong!

Doggy Style by ragu4u 11-15-12

Auditions for role in "Witch Orgy"... Oooh, yeah baby! Now talk dirty to me! Behind the Curtain....... So if THIS is your version of "sock it to me" anal sex, I'll pass!

United We Fall by ragu4u 11-16-12

Gimme some "Twinkies", Akmed. Sorry...me no have. NO "TWINKIES"? Are you nuts? Why not? News report say "Hostess" go kaput! Fricken Union bastards! I'll starve! You like cous cous, maybe?

Better Than Fingerprints by ragu4u 11-17-12

At the Gay Bar......... Honest, lover, I didn't cheat on you. Oh yes you did and I can prove with who. Oh yeah? How? Get in the jon and drop yer drawers. Tastes like Bruce to me. Yeah! It was Bruce alright, you bastard! Uncanny! So can I get up now?

Father Joe: Senile Priest by ragu4u 11-17-12

A tad early for Christmas , isn't it young man? Hey! What you call my daughter? Daughter? I thought you Chinese aborted all female babies. Take THAT you slime ball! Maybe it was King Herod and baby boys?

Dark Humor by ragu4u 11-18-12

So did you book the clown car for my kids party? Sure did, boss man. Kids just love watching 20 clowns piling out of a tiny car! Twenty? Uh...the car I got only holds eighteen. Methinks two clowns will be pissed! The others all just drove past us, laughing! Mark my words...that neeg will pay!

Dark Humor Pt.2 by ragu4u 11-18-12

Yes? There's an angry clown outside to see you. Tell him I've gone for the day! OK...but I don't think he'll buy it. I'm sorry but he's out of... Don't bother. Tell him I want $1,000,000.00 or he'll never see his family again.

Dark Humor Pt.3 (PayDay) by ragu4u 11-18-12

Well? The clown says he wants a million bucks or you'll never see your family again. Do you think he's serious? I certainly do. What shall I tell him? He said he'll make it 2 million if you kill em before lunch!! Done! I want the money in a sack filled with 100's. Attach it to the banana seat on the unicycle out front.

Welcome to "Arcola" by ragu4u 11-18-12

Good day, sir. Allow me to introduce myself. Wait... That's the last time THAT old bastard will "shun" anybody!

Don't Say It, Think It...Vol. 1 by ragu4u 11-19-12

This is you 10th D.U.I. so you're going away for a long time. So wha? Hic! After the trial... Follow me to your cell. I better get a cell to myself. I'm your cellmate. They call me " Big Dick Daddy From Cincinnati". Really? Why?

Military 101 by ragu4u 11-20-12

You want me to give you the combination to the safe that holds all our military's top secrets and then you'll have sex with me? COOL!! These stupid generals make this spy game waaay too easy! Tonight on "20/20"... we'll examine how the generals of today let their "privates" do their thinking for them!" Hey daddy....what are "privates"?

CC: 370 "Darwinism" by ragu4u 11-20-12

Yo, bitch! How much? Now THAT sounds like "natural selection"!

HD by ragu4u 11-20-12

uh, oh, uh, oh oh OH! What you doing back there, dude? I just watched the latest Lady GaGa video on my iphone. Cake? Can I see it too? Let me wipe it off first. I'll pass.

He Shoots...He Scores by ragu4u 11-21-12

You white boys can't play b-ball worth a shit. Oh yeah? What about that sophomore in Grinnel, Iowa who just scored 138 points in 1 game? No way! WAY! He shot 52 baskets from the field and made seven free throws. What else COULD you call him except "impressive"? Well...what would YOU call him? A ball hog!

Filmatically Illiterate by ragu4u 11-21-12

The name is Joe Buck and I'm one hell of a stud. I'm Rico. Rico Salvatore Rizzo...but you can call me Ratso. Hey! I'm walkin here...I'm walkin here. Up yours, you faggot son of a bitch! At the "Actors Studio" You've all just seen a clip from a very famous Dustin Hoffman film. What's the name of that film? "Little Big Man"?

Don't Say It, Think It...Vol.2 by ragu4u 11-22-12

Man am I glad they transferred "Big Dick Daddy From Cincinatti" to another cell! Move along there, Big Dick! Oh, oh...here comes his replacement. I hope he's not gay! I know, I'll just make friendly small talk. Howdy. I'm new here. I used to work in a candy warehouse but I got busted for stealing. Oh really? Candy? I'm into candy too. Fudge-packing is my specialty, bro!

R.I.P. Larry Hagman by ragu4u 11-24-12

Ya know, I still dream of Jeannie! "Boiiinnng!"

Arty Facts by ragu4u 11-25-12

10 am Oh my, a Toynbee Tile! 11 am What do you think, Professor? Is it a real Toynbee Tile? Sure is. It's gonna bring a fortune some day. Noon I tried to stop him but he just dug it up and took it. What the hell is a Toynbee Tile?

Wisdumb by ragu4u 11-26-12

Look at all these yummy books & magazines! Ah, ah, ah. There are millions of starving goats in China, youngster. Aw go @#$% yourself! One can't do THAT to ones self, can they?

The Compromise by ragu4u 11-26-12

I'm sure we can reach some kind of compromise. I have an idea. ...but... You're the one who wanted an agreement hammered out.

The Arch Enemy by ragu4u 11-27-12

Huh? I hate "Black Friday". It never should have been created. Who dat? People could be home doing much better things like... You again? ...going to rallies & burning crosses.