Red Phone and Marcus in "A Dandy Scheme" by MathiasSmith 8-15-05

Look, I just...I just feel we've sort've drifted apart. We're nothing like we were when we first started dating. I am saddened but will maintain a happy face. And you know what? I think we just both need a period of time alone. To cool down, y'know? I agree...I guess. I'm gonna fuck you so hard. I like to be called Marcus during anal sex.

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The Sound of Silence by MathiasSmith 8-15-05

There's definitely a large level of hypocrisy in America when it comes to the subject of illegal immigrants. I mean as cliche as it sounds, we are a nation of immi- OH GOD Wha-OH MY! [the sound of stunned silence] HEY GUYS CHECK OUT MY STEAMIN' ERECTION

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"Sexual Hand Gestures" Sounds Awkward by MathiasSmith 8-15-05

So uh, you're taking Sally out this Saturday, I hear. Yup. Well, remember: first dates mean a visit from the SEXUAL HAND GESTURES SPECTRE Oh, that's just an old urban legend.

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The Adventures of The Masked Phantom & Associates by MathiasSmith 8-15-05

What's up, Reed? My erection. MEANWHILE...? M'aime-t-il vraiment? Notre amour est-il simplement un mensonge neurologique méchant dont l'existence unique doit masquer nos désirs charnels vrais et primitifs? Somewhere in this lonely world, my estranged twin may also feel the power of a raging erection such as the one I proudly wear. The closeness of our world is truly astounding. I just had the strangest vision... That's nice. I'm gonna go fuck a parakeet now.

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Ctrl+Alt by MathiasSmith 8-15-05

Dimensional shift.

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I like your comics quite a bit.

High-five.

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8===D

i agree with theReverend's drunken vomiting on policemen ass

down low. too slow

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what if nigger meant kite

Ding Dong

The Riddle of the Iceman by MathiasSmith 8-16-05

Guess what I'm holding. Uh... I dunno. I'm not going to TELL you. I'm a snowman now.

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Hoodoo by MathiasSmith 8-16-05

You remind me of that Hoodoo who do voodoo. Who do? That voodoo that you do. Who do that voodoo that you do? OH GOD REED YOU'VE SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED AND I'M GOING TO FEED YOUR ASHES TO MY HOUNDS

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Stabby Stabby by MathiasSmith 8-19-05

My erection's going soft. ... Heh, too much information, dude. Yeah, I'm probably going to have to stab my thighs with a pocketknife to get it hard again.

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Heed Porn by MathiasSmith 8-20-05

"Mello Caveman" is an anagram for "Malevolance". Hm. LATER...?! Wait, "Mello Caveman" isn't an anagram for "Malevolance". What's wrong, honey? SOMEBODY KNOWS THE TRUTH I CAN SENSE IT WOMAN

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Pennies by MathiasSmith 8-20-05

Huh, that's funny, I taste copper. Heheh, you hidin' pennies in your mouth, boy? OH GOD I THINK I'M DYING YOU BEST NOT BE HIDIN' MONEY FROM ME BOY So "arterial blockage" means he choked on the pennies he was hiding in his mouth, right?

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'Stabby Stabby' was great

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what if nigger meant kite