i still can't believe Brad deleted comic contests 500 through 549. i guess with all the inquests and charges pending, i should have seen it coming, but it blindsided me. i'm a little shaken up by the whole experience, i gotta admit. i guess the best thing we can do now is just move on with the remaining fingers we have left and try not to think about it

so, this contest is simple. the first panel and the second panel have to seemingly have no damn relation to one another and then the 3rd panel has to tie them together somehow in a funny way

i can't believe we killed that girl. judging in 7 to 10 days. good luck, have fun, i can't get my hands clean

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what if nigger meant kite

Groovy! - Manfred Manndingo by edoggydog 4-04-12

I may be married, but my cock still dates other women! Unfortunately, my hand is monogamous! When nobody's looking, I like to reach through this wall and fondle the nuts of the squirrel sitting in the tree outside this window... I'm standing right here, fucko! I couldn't tie the first two panels together in a funny way, so I went home and gave myself a HERBAL ESSENCES mango-scented douching. Groovy!

Do the Hokey Pokey! by four_legged_tripod 4-04-12

Meow? Uncle Jimmy? I don't think I'm comfortable anymore listening to your sexual experiences on our first date.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

CC551: I Bet Peanut Butter & Chocolate Seemed Weird Once Too by ZMannZilla 4-04-12

Paper beats rock! Well, shit. You have a problem, and that problem is called "hoarding". IT'S NOT A PROBLEM LEAVE ME ALONE RAAAAARGH!!! So, basically, it's a combination of those two concepts. I call it "Pokemon". Love it! Can you have it ready by Christmas?

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

RCL no. 2917 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 4-04-12

...but the big problem I see with Obamacare is not the individual mandate, but the oversized rectal thermometers they'll force us to use. Those babies leave quite a bruise on your inner anus! ...and though Tebow may be coming in as a back-up QB, I think Sanchez needs to look over his shoulder because Tebow is on a mission from God! Maybe, even a "transmission" from God... And... And... Ah, fuck me! We're only three hours into our lifetime sentences and I've already run out of things to talk about.

The Amplification of Bucky Masturbate by biped 4-05-12

Have you wondered why I'm unusually quiet today, Dick? It's because my penis, testicles, and anus are receiving radio transmissions, and I am endeavoring to discern-- I...AM...TRYING... TO...TAKE...A... PISS...BUCKY!!! YAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAA!!! The adjustments are complete, boss. We've realigned the satellite feed for maximum output. Well then, turn that cocksucker up to full power and let's blast the motherfuckin' doors off. HOLY GOOD GRIEFITY FUCK FUNGUS!!! I'M EJACULATING THE 4TH MOVEMENT OF BEETHOVEN'S 9TH SYMPHONY AND DEFECATING THE WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE!!! MOM-MEEE!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Groovy! - Yeah? Who? by edoggydog 4-05-12

"Firefighters rescue twenty-two puppies from a burning building..." What do you want me to do with this? Throw it back! "Fans react to 007 drinking beer in the new Bond movie..." Bond. [*hic*] James Bond. *BUUUUUURRRRRRRP* WHAT THE FUCK?? Those are just a couple of the hard-hitting, fact-finding, blue-ribbon stories trending on Yahoo! News today... Groovy!

Boing Chicka Massala by choadwarrior 4-05-12

MISO! MISO! Fighting in the dojo! MISO! MISO! Oriental prince in the land of soup! Calm a llama down. Calm a llama deep down in the ocean, blue like a barnacle. Sitting in the tight place, laughing at the monkey arm, pulling like a China boy. Did you just zone out there? Sorry, you said something about Bush?

CC 551/huh?: "I'll have a little more 'R&D' please!" by bigworm 4-06-12

It might have been the '1st. bang', but it wasn't that "BIG"! For starters, I don't like your color. Therefore I will bend you over and bang your 'oil here' hole until gratification occurs. Again?!! 'Bliss' was soon a thing of the past! I must possess all three of her grimy holes, or I will never be happy. If only he had a cunt. It's my latest project. There's some bugs in it, but I'm firing it up tomorrow.

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bigworm

CC551: Still Sounds Like The Name Of A Video Game To Me by ZMannZilla 4-07-12

CIA BASTARDS DID BAD TINGS TO ME, INVISIBLE HAND MAN!!! Um... No change, sorry. Did you finish that report like I asked you to? I'm in Accounting, Mr. Dung Beetle. You need to ask Engineering for bug reports. CIA Headquarters, April 1953... I'm pleased to report that Project MK-ULTRA is well under way. The LSD doses have been distributed and- What the... Dammit, Jenkins, I thought I told you to make me part of the CONTROL GROUP!

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

Revenge is a dish best served out of order. by crabby 4-08-12

You been walking around on your high horse bragging about organizational hierarchy, well what has it got for you so far old man? Look, after two games, I really don't know what you were expecting. You need to just calm down. I don't need you ransacking my home because of a difference of opinion on baseball. The year 1927 a young Franz Fitzman spends his first weekend in St. Louis... On your knees you Cardinals loving whore! Stop! My dad is US Marshall Stu Zaporitzwka! And you say rent here is only 400 dollars a month? That seems amazingly cheap! And how did you say you knew my father? Well you see, Ms. Fritzman, your father and I go a long ways back. I suppose he never spoke of his old friend Stu Zaporitzwka, but I've been owing him a favor for a long time now.

Hold Your Breath by choadwarrior 4-08-12

There's no way Romney can beat Obama. At last we found something we can agree on. This morning's offering plate is overflowing, Father. It's a good thing Christians have forgotten they can't buy their way into heaven. Want another? *HIC* Yes *HIC*

Groovy! - Eyes-a-Jigglin' by edoggydog 4-09-12

Groovy! Groovy! He just stood there and stared at my tits... Same here... And, all this time I thought that pervert was gay!

Groovy! - A Space Oddity by edoggydog 4-09-12

BOO!! AAAAAAAAA!!! My pratical-joking Uncle has invented a space portal which he uses to startle aliens on other planets with a hand puppet... Groovy!

My brain hurts just trying to make comics somewhat funny in the regular format.  I'll leave this to the professionals.

Groovy! - Prank you very much! by edoggydog 4-10-12

Helloooooo! STOP DOING THAT, ASSHOLE!! He also uses his portal to prank Mrs. Dollarnipple when she's at work... Groovy!

judging time!

good comics in this one, which made my job harder, so you should all be ashamed of yourselves. honorable mentions all around, but in the end, the last two comics win the day as they cracked me right up

Groovy! - A Space Oddity by edoggydog 4-09-12

BOO!! AAAAAAAAA!!! My pratical-joking Uncle has invented a space portal which he uses to startle aliens on other planets with a hand puppet... Groovy!

Groovy! - Prank you very much! by edoggydog 4-10-12

Helloooooo! STOP DOING THAT, ASSHOLE!! He also uses his portal to prank Mrs. Dollarnipple when she's at work... Groovy!

congratulations Ed Oggy! a winner is you. a win conditional on you not responding with the word groovy. take it away

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what if nigger meant kite

mandingo wrote:

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congratulations Ed Oggy! a winner is you. a win conditional on you not responding with the word groovy. take it away

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edoggydog?  Seiously?  That guy SUCKS!!

RandomComicLayoutGuy wrote:

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edoggydog?  Seiously?  That guy SUCKS!!

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crabby wrote:

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RandomComicLayoutGuy wrote:

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edoggydog?  Seiously?  That guy SUCKS!!

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Matbe everyone just needs to calm down.

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edoggydog wrote:

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Thanks, mandigo!  It's a great honor to be victorious in your CC!  I will post a new comic contest within 24 hours. Matbe.

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if only we lived in a world where crabby could just step out of it now and edoggy would continue to post and counterpost himself like a Bugs Bunny episode

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what if nigger meant kite