so my life the last year has been dating, dating, dating, and more dating. and not just your mom(s). i've learnt all kinds of things. some i want to eternal sunshine from my brain with the good silver, but most just makes me le ha ha. liked missed connections, you seen those over on craigslist? people who chance encountered someone that caught their eye but didn't have the balls or the opportunity to hit on them post personal ads there looking for said personage. google it, you'll see some hilarious examples. so that's the only rule for this one - miss connection me up a comic. whether it's an example of an ad, or the a subsequent meeting, or whatever. i'll judge sometime 10 days to 2 weeks depending on the turnout. good luck, have fun.

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what if nigger meant kite

RCL no. 4883 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-04-15

And, then I met whore number fifteen on CRAIGSLIST®... I tell ya, she had a body that would not QUIT! But, when I got hold of it, it quit, if you know what I mean! Ha, ha... Then, my bitch of an ex-wife, Elin, read my text messages and put an end to the whole shabanging! What are you looking at? Those doofus firemen trying to rescue that sand "kite" in his burn-ing car... I'm sure they meant to douse the flames with water, but they poured a bucket of gasoline on him instead.

CC621: Missed Cuntnections by brycekain 9-05-15

Missed connection: I was standing outside of the grocery store looking into the window when I gasped. There before me was a beautiful, slender frame. I wanted to put my hands all over her. She wasn't alone. They all had short, white builds. I stood trembling. Such tight packages. But the store was closed. This was yesterday and I am too sick to go to the store today. Wait, you put an ad on Craig's List?? Mr. Fung still hasn't grasped the concept of subtle sarcasm. JUST GO GET ME SOME FUCKING TAMPONS, ASSHOLE!

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

CC621: It's as subtle as Ms. Davis by brycekain 9-05-15

MISSED CONNECTION: I was in line at your place of work when I saw two men giving you a hard time. You were standing your ground and defending yourself. I was going to help, but you were suddenly whisked off by security or the police or something. I hope you didn't go to jail. You have a right to religious freedom! P.S. - I have a fetish for fat, homophobic, closet lesbians named Kim. I hope this won't spoil things.

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

CC621 by Porternotes 9-05-15

Missed Connections: We were in the coffeeshop on Main Street... Hey! This could be about me. ...You were in green. I was in a tank top and yoga pants... I remember this girl! Hot as Hell! ...I smiled at you and you never took your eyes off of your phone. So I went outside and had sex with the first guy I saw. You blew it. Dodged the ol' crazy skank bullet again.

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https://www.porternotes.com

Not A Family Circus: #10 by Beeko180 9-07-15

MISSED CONNECTION: "They were filthy. I mean... the real dirty sort of filthy. I couldn't believe how dirty they were. I'm presuming that they were white or something under all that."... "Clothes... just as filthy. I mean, wow. Not that I have a problem with it. It's just- The fuck? STOP IT! STOP FLOODING MY EMAIL WITH THOSE FAKE MISSED CONNECTION MATCH ALERTS! I'M NOT DOING THE DISHES AND I'M NOT DOING THE LAUNDRY! MARRIAGE IS A PARTNERSHIP! Ha, ha! You whore...

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

Groovy! - Missed Erections by edoggydog 9-08-15

And, that's when I saw her... The most beautiful i-Phone I have ever seen! But, before I could ask for her number, she hopped in an Uber car and drove away. Not groovy! I put in a personal ad on craigslist in the "missed connections" section. Hopefully, she'll see it and give me a call. Are you looking to have a long term, committed relationship with her? No, just a shitload of phone sex! *groan*

i'm gonna judge this Sunday so get thine last minute entries in

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what if nigger meant kite

CC621: Let's keep on missing that connection by evil_d 9-11-15

Hello, I'd like to place a "Missed Connections" ad in your paper. Me: white male, 38, 6'2", short brown hair. Have lost a lot of weight. Former endorser for Subway restaurants. You: I'm going to stop you right there.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

mandingo wrote:

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i'm gonna judge this Sunday so get thine last minute entries in

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In the presence of greatness, I genuflect and present this offering:

No Chewing - Just Gum by atomiclunch 9-11-15

I'm sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I don't think you were the person I referred to in the ad. No offense. Well, the Missed Connection ad said, "You: Cute thing at Spruce and Main on Sunday at 9:15 showing awesome gum action, call 555-5555." GAM, gam action. There's the problem. I'm terribly sorry to have wasted your ti- Oh, I just assumed you saw me blowing that policeman with my teeth out. I'll just be going, then. And Craigslist sparks another successful relationship! Um, can I buy you a drink? Honey, you don't have to get me liquored up. Just pretend that it'll get me out of a ticket.

RCL no. 4900 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-12-15

What are you thinking, Jacob? About the most beautiful Amish woman I met last week at the Gunderson's barn raising. She had a pair of milkers bigger than Bossie the Cow's! Why don't you call her? Amish don't have phones, dumbass! Then, just go visit her in person. I have no idea where she lives. Her last name is Lapp. Every other family is named Lapp. It would take forever to find her. FUCKING AMISH NAMES!!!!

judging time in the garden of good and evil. nice entires here. honorable mentions to brycekain and evil_d but the winner caught my eye at the deli when they ordered an anchovy-hog's head cheese sammich with mayo. MAYO!

Not A Family Circus: #10 by Beeko180 9-07-15

MISSED CONNECTION: "They were filthy. I mean... the real dirty sort of filthy. I couldn't believe how dirty they were. I'm presuming that they were white or something under all that."... "Clothes... just as filthy. I mean, wow. Not that I have a problem with it. It's just- The fuck? STOP IT! STOP FLOODING MY EMAIL WITH THOSE FAKE MISSED CONNECTION MATCH ALERTS! I'M NOT DOING THE DISHES AND I'M NOT DOING THE LAUNDRY! MARRIAGE IS A PARTNERSHIP! Ha, ha! You whore...

congratulations, Beeko. after you run cc622, let's meet up at Church's and pork.

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what if nigger meant kite

Where is Church's and Pork?  New restaurant?

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

Thank you, very muchly mandingo. Honoured are I. Humble are I.

Winner Are I by Beeko180 9-14-15

I won CC621 like... a day or something ago. I didn't quite know about it so- I don't care. I mean, I would have responded sooner and set up the new CC622 but I had things that I was apparently overly intent on setting out to do- If you shoved yourself, with all your inhumanly width, up my arse and tried to rip a hole wide enough to leak out even a drip of caring, it still wouldn't happen. I don't fucking care. I feel so very honoured to accept the award of greatest comic made out of a bunch of comics made. I might even take mandingo up on his hopefully not euphemistic request to join him for pork an- He's going to SKULLfuck you for making him read your shitty comic, is what he means. Quite frankly, I don't think you deserve that kind of abuse. It's not abusive enough. I still don't care.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner are I.

A new one shall be up soon when I can think of an edgy topic that hasn't been done yet even though it probably has. Prepare your funny bones for maximum bonesification. I shall be needing to judgification them.

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll