A few days ago, I finally wrote a blasphemous strip with the Threereasons Jesus:

[Click to view comic: 'Spirit guide, part 2']

Now I'm wondering if there's anyone who hasn't done one of these by now... and if any of them are funny.

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Good one :)

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Mate... I am a Christian, and that one made me laugh out loud.

Jesus actually had a brother named James (and probably others - one passage refers to him having "brothers", plural) but my fellow Catholics don't believe in him since his existence kinda clashes with the Church teaching that Mary was a virgin when Jesus was born (as the Bible says) and remained a Virgin for the rest of her life (as some dickhead convinced one of our Popes a few hundred years ago).

As you may have guessed, though I call myself a Catholic, I'm not a very good one.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

My very first strip ever.

[Click to view comic: 'Saved again']

And you call yours blasphemous?

---
What others say about boorite!

Descolada said:
> Dexx, I take it you've seen the movie Dogma? If not, you might enjoy it.
I am sure I would enjoy it, from what I have heard, but I still haven't rented it out.

> I dated an uber-Catholic (9 kids in the family, home schooled, etc) for a year.
I am seven of nine (no Trek jokes, please) but we're not home schooled. I have never heard of the latter being a Catholic habit - here in Oz we all go to Catholic schools. :)

> Not athiest, *agnostic*. The dumb bitch never did realize the difference between the two :)
I know the difference. Arthur the Atheist says, "There is no God, you delusional freaks!" Alex the Agnostic says, "I can't believe something without proof, so don't ask me to believe in an unprovable God." Meanwhile, DexX the Lapsed Catholic says, "Papal infallibility? HA! Read a Bible, you dogma-blinded morons!"

Visiting home and chatting religion with Dad is such fun. He just loves to hear me say that it is more important to be Christian that Catholic...

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

quote:

---

Arthur the Atheist says, "There is no God, you delusional freaks!" Alex the Agnostic says, "I can't believe something without proof, so don't ask me to believe in an unprovable God."

---

Is an area where you find nuns in the wild a natural habitat?

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Sinner.

Well actually, I'm an atheist, but call myself an agnostic too, just so my mom doesn't pull an elder Sanford. I used to make funny littel deals with god: I'd say, OK, God, if you exist, have me spell the word little wrong, but did he answer? Hellz no.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I'm just a pagan heathen. I actually got kicked out of church at the ripe old age of 10 for suggesting that Moses was just a really good salesman, and that it sounded like they were on drugs when all those "visions" occurred.

Well, that and I called the teacher a Klan member for saying my Catholic friends were all drunks because the Priests drank real wine at their Mass. Of course it didn't help that I pointed out that Jesus converted water into wine. (The response..."WELL THAT WAS UNFERMENTED WINE) which then I pointed out that wine is not wine unless it's fermented.

A few deacons calling me demon spawn and trying an intervention with my mother at the house later....

Gee...any wonder..I fell so far from the good grace of the church.

---
Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

---
What others say about boorite!

I'm not really sure what I am. I married a Catholic, and in doing so I think I agreed to raise my kids in the Catholic faith. Little did ol' priesty know, but I had my fingers crossed behind my back so it doesn't count.

Seriously, though, religion confuses me. When you boil it right down, all the different religions scattered around the world are really just the same thing, faith. Faith in either tangible things, or things they can't explain or understand. It doesn't matter. And if telling yourself there's a god and a heaven and it helps you get through the day, good for you. And if you think you're going to get reincarnated as a walrus because you stole someone's bike, that's just peachy too.

If only everyone could just believe what they want without having to try to foist it off on other people. I don't care what everyone else thinks. That's what freedom is all about. But when people start laying down the law about things that affect me personally it cheeses me off.

I worked with a guy who was pretty hard core religious, but wasn't too pushy about it. But he enjoyed a good argument now and then. I distinctly remember him once giving me a flyer that laid out why dinosaurs were a load of crap, and how the earlier history of the world never happened. I supposed almighty God just put skeletons everywhere and let us figure out carbon dating just to give us something to do.

I'm not religious, and I'm not much of a scientist either. So I can't spout scientific facts about why dinosaurs are real. But given the choice of one or the other, I'd have to go with the scientists.

To each his own. And donkey rapes for everyone that thinks otherwise.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I think my personal works fine for me. I Loved Dogma because it quoted a lot of things that I sort of can relate.

Most of my system now are just major amounts of randomness that make sense to me. Do I believe in something greater than we pitiful humans? Yes. Does this pitiful human presume to say that I know what it wants or expects? No.

I sorta have this theory...Everything has it's basis in storytelling. And as we all know, storytellers are very creative people. Skewing the actual events for a better "sell." SO, to take everything verbatim and miss the overall message is where we get so whacked.

The Ancients worshipped Gods/Goddesses for practically everything. I see old Menelaus in his backyard throwing goats on the altar and getting quite grumpy because he had to do this yesterday with a dozen cats. He looks over the fence to his neighbor Aneas' house and notices that he's living very well and not making any sacrifices. So he asks about it. Aneas' explains "why should I worship all these separate Gods individually, when I can just do this once in a while to the head cheese? The results are the same."

Menelaus thinks about it....tries it, doesn't get struck down by lightening or a naked cherub. And boom...polytheism to monotheism begins.

Of course that's just the tip of my theory, but....I think it all boils down to just being a decent freaking person and using common sense. But there are very few of us left.

---
Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

Frankly, the more I do read the bible, the less I believe it's right. It's so contradictory, especially when it comes to ideals of a perfect god and such. I dont get into it, as DexX almost ripped my throat out over ICQ on this subject. I do not believe most of the bible is true, however, that doesn't mean I have to believe in no god, or a pagan god. I believe in a god of some sort, and an afterlife.

You'll always have poor people, but I am only here for a short time.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Don't forget to be good to squirrels.
Frankly, I subscribe to the theory that if you are good to people, and good to yourself, and just enjoy your time here, you won't feel eternally guilty in any afterlife.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

quote:

---

Jesus actually had a brother named James (and probably others - one passage refers to him having "brothers", plural) but my fellow Catholics don't believe in him since his existence kinda clashes with the Church teaching that Mary was a virgin when Jesus was born (as the Bible says) and remained a Virgin for the rest of her life.

quote:

---

Yeah, that's pretty much where I got the idea for mine... I had heard that some people believe that Jesus had brothers/sisters... and I realized how much it would suck to be one of them. I mean, if there's anyone you just can't live up to, it's him. "I got a raise at Denny's!" "Your brother walked on water today." "DAMMIT!"

And I call him Bob because of that song, 'Jesus' brother Bob.' It was either by the Arrogant Worms, or Tracy and the Hindenburg Ground Crew...

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

[Click to view comic: 'I need to get out more']

[Click to view comic: 'Tobor and Jesus']

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

I'm so glad y'all ended the political discussion. This is much better. ;P

I usually avoid using the Jesus icon because it's just too easy to make jokes (Jesus says "fuck" a lot and talks about sucking dick... harhar I haven't seen that 8 million times before), and therefore less funny. But I also have succumbed to using the icon twice. And now, given the opportunity, I intend to inflict my comics upon you.

[Click to view comic: 'A Political Cartoon. Sorry.']

---
"Old" is the old new.

And my only other one...

[Click to view comic: 'Jim Gets Shown Up']

---
"Old" is the old new.

I couldn't resist... I also had to do the pedophilic priest bit once. Forgive me.

[Click to view comic: 'Random Comic! Confessional']

---
"Old" is the old new.

[ Posted comic does not exist ]

My mother was a Jehovah's Witness and my father was an atheist. It's true. Mike "Mad Dog" Adams even wrote a joke about it.

"My mother was a Jehovah's Witness, and my father was an atheist. They used to go door to door for no damn reason at all."

Love,

bunner

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

[ Posted comic does not exist ]

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Amen, brother. That annoys me too. However, I've come to realize that most who do that truly believe that they are trying to *save* you, so, misguided as they are, I think their motives are mostly altruistic.

My number one pet peeve are those who don't respect others' beliefs. There's a palpable smugness that many have towards religion, particularly christianity. Secular "holier than thous," what a world.

As for the bible being off, I'd have to agree. The bible contradicts itself in just about everything it says. The Gospels are worth reading though. Some of the most beautiful ideas on how to treat people came from those four books. I think they are worthwhile reading with or without the religious connotation.

So sayeth the sinner.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I believe that there is a God for a very simple reason:

This planet, galaxy, solar system, universe.... from the molecules in water to the Milky Way reeks of engineering. REEKS of it. If this place happened by accident, I would be hell of lot more impressed than I am with the notion that a creative force beyond the grasp of people -who up until very recently thought caves and fire were terribly high tech- is somehow inherently silly. Somebody, something, built this. And the engineering is absolutely, jaw-droppingly, breathtakingly brilliant. I think the scientific community, as beneficial as they are to mankind, are a bit jealous.

Religion, on the other hand, from what I can tell empirically, is pretty much confined to hoax governemnts, shysters, chislers, strongarm tactics, Ponzi schemes, hucksters, thieves, megalomaniacs, weasels, and hypocrites.

The scientific community will agree to any wild notion, (little green men, spaceships, an inexplicable explosion which vomited forth the universe....)which discredit the idea of God, even as a consummate engineer or force thereof.

Meantime, badly be-wigged shuck and jive artists, charlatans in pointy hats, highbinders with collection plates, and those of their ilk, will pump forth any preposterous, and rigid ideology that dis-credits science and fills thier coffers with $50.00's and widow's pensions.

Somewhere in the middle of any two extremes often lies the truth.

Love,

bunner

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

quote:

---

Somewhere in the middle of any two extremes often lies the truth.

Love,

bunner

---