All comics by TotalTommyTerror

Profile

 

The names have been changed to protect the innocent...
I think we need to talk about something...
Is it about this meat on meat sandwich?
Fuck the guilty.
No actually it's about your disturbing obsession with under-age girls.
Yeah, they dig me cause I've got a motorcycle and I'm rich.
Hmm... I didn't use any names.
Until they get past your internet ad and find out you're a fat-ass who likes Everquest.
I'm so lonely...

 

Look, it was fine to like 13 year old girls when YOU were 13.
But they like me...
No, Joseph. They don't like you or your fat ass glued to that EverQueer
I'm a level 50 Mage Knight!!!
No, you're a level 4 Loser.
I cry myself to sleep every night.

 

Hey, Jake! I thought you were still in the Army. What are ya' doing back?
I was, but um....
Yes, my son... What is it.
I'm a Homosexual. I can't be a soldier any more!
So how'd ya get out?
I twisted my ankle.

 

Maybe I'm over-reacting with this whole Joe and little girls thing.
Then a knock at the door...
Who's that?
Hi, I'm Jill. I've got a date with Joe!
Is over-reacting a noun or a verb?

 

The Moon was red that night...
Is Joe here?
Hang on just a minute...
I think it knew...
Is that my date, Jill?
Yes, you sick man. I asked you to stop. Now I have no choice.
The Sanguine Moon...
Well, is he here?
Yes, but I don't think he's feeling too good.

 

So you killed Joe?
I had to stop him. I just lost all control when he did it... Just one more time...
For the under age girl thing?
No! Because the fat ass kept eating those meat on meat sandwiches.
So you killed Joe?
That kid thing was a factor too. But now I can have his room.

 

Am I in Hell because of that whole attempting to copulate with little girls thing?
No, it's because you're a fat ass who betrays friends because of an imaginary world you pay money to play in.
Are you Satan?
No, I'm Jesus Fucking Christ. I'm taking you to Satan. Follow me.
Are you Satan?
WOE YE WHO HAVE BEHELD MY FORM. DESPAIR FOR ALL YOU HAVE SINNED UPON. JUDGMENT FOR YOU... FIRE... BURN... TERROR OVERWHELMING.

 

So the Eternal Dark One Tells me we've got to let you go back. Apparently you're supposed to die when all the parents on Elm Street burn you to death...
So I get to live again?
Yeah. All of us down here get a kick out of watching you cry yourself to sleep after you masturbate to furry porn every night.
So I can just go?
Not yet. First tell me why chicks dig you, it always cracks me up.
I have a motorcycle, I have a cool job, and a tatoo. I'm a bad boy. Chicks dig me.

 

I think we should eviscerate the proletariat.
The oil is ours now. Only a fool would stand before us.
Attention all Shoppers. George Bush presents "JIHAD!"
For he gave the world his only son. To cleanse us all of sin.
For unto us, our pain, our sorrow, it is ours. We are the shepherds of our own destinies.

 

 

As per your orders, your Majesty, we have released the "Almost Child Molestor" Joe back into the Earth Realm.
Sown, Terror has, the Seeds of a Nightmare for the City of Never Sleep. For as was spoken of Inferno, The dream will come to pass...
All of us down here think you're really freaking crazy, Oh, He Who Is Death to Behold.
For on this eve... Not even Death will be a release... Oh, they cry, for their salvation, but none shall find any sanctuary.

 

So then the Dark one said something crazy, but the other guy said I get to live again because I still have things to do.
That's funny because the only purpose you could possibly serve is to die for being an annoying fat fucking asshole.
Well, kill me all you want but until I've fulfilled this "Purpose" I won't die!
Is that so?
Look, Shit for Brains, every time you die I gotta put in overtime. I love my family and it kills them when I have to go to work to resurrect a child molestor to fulfill a "Purpose."

 

by TotalTommyTerror
10-11-03
Ah, at long last... I have my very own place. My own little home, no one bothering me when I go or leave, and no filthy ass roommates!
Sure is nice and quiet.
Sure am bored...

 

by TotalTommyTerror
10-11-03
I've finally got the whole place cleaned. Everything has been put away and now I'm ready for my place to be the hip cool joint all my friends wanna hang at!
I'm sure they're just dying to call and see if they can come over.
I wish I had some friends...

 

by TotalTommyTerror
10-11-03
Well, I'm not gonna wait for people to show up just to bother me. I'll just fill the void in my soul with some video game brainwashing.
It is kinda creepy being all alone in a place this big though...
Well, it's not all that bad.

 

by TotalTommyTerror
10-11-03
Man, Ghost wasn't on the freaking lease agreement!
Well, I think they hate light so, I'll just turn all the lights on in the house!
That's better.

 

by TotalTommyTerror
10-11-03
Well, this is his place, I wonder if he's here...
AGH, WHAT THE HECK! TURN OFF THOSE LIGHTS
I can't, otherwise the ghost will get me.
The what?
Ghost. Really there is one and he's after me.

 

by TotalTommyTerror
10-11-03
Look, I'm kinda busy, just thought I'd stop by but maybe I'll come back when you regain your sanity.
Well, okay but next time bring Holy Water, or Holy Light Bulbs.
I think I'm going to need more light bulbs.
Oh crap.
What's the matter? I thought you said you were lonely.

 

by TotalTommyTerror
10-11-03
So, I mean I'm happy being single and all but, it would be kinda nice to have a girlfriend you know...
Sure, we all need someone we feel really special to.
Sometimes I find myself trying on women's clothes.
.....
Yeah, you're all kinds of fucked up guy.

 

by TotalTommyTerror
10-11-03
Ok, so you want a girlfriend. So, how are you going about doing this?
Well, I usually dance with a buncha chicks when I go to clubs and drinking. I've even asked a few out.
And nobody's biting?
Nah, every chick I dance and drink with has a boyfriend or husband or some stupid crap like that!
Well, why the fuck are they dancing with you if they've already got a boyfriend!
I don't fucking know! Maybe they've got loser non-cool boyfriends who're rich, that they just need to get out and freak on a Low Income guy like myself!

 

by TotalTommyTerror
10-18-03
Hey, I need to borrow your truck so I can go buy a mattress.
No problem.
Thanks
I'm leaving and I'm taking my truck.
But you just said I could use it.
No I didn't. I said I hate you.

 

by TotalTommyTerror
10-18-03
So yeah, I got me a surround sound system and the Matrix Reloaded! You wanna come over tomorrow and watch it?
Sure, I'll bring some beers.
Tomorrow...
I thought you were going to come over and hang out.
Yeah, but that was before I made up something I have to do.
Well, I'll just fill the empty void of friendshiplessness with $850 bucks worth of audio and video.
I know Kung Fu still.

 

by TotalTommyTerror
10-18-03
In a desperate attempt for friendship...
I now know what must be done...
You must reach deep inside yourself.
NNNNGGGAAAAAHHHH!!!!
!!!!HHHHAAAAAAGGGNNNN
And meet yourself and stuff.
You wanna do something?
Really? With me? Yeah!

 

by TotalTommyTerror
10-19-03
Lately, with work and all my friends doing "OTHER" things, I've been finding myself very bored.
I've even found myself reading email that's obviously spam, in a vain hope that it really is someone I know wanting to 'Hook Up.'
Hey, all right! Ann Darion wants to get together and hang out and stuff! Do I know an 'Ann?'
I'm feeling quite heartbroken when it really does turn out to be spam.
I don't want to unsubscribe. She might not want to talk to me anymore.

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