All comics by Anonymous_artist

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Ahhh, the school year
How's school goin' 4 u?
School sux. I can't wait until summer!
Summer
Back in school again...
How was ur summer?
Summer sux. Good thing I'm back in school

 

Another school day
Mr. Bill, u still have not turned in your science project. What is ur excuse this time?
He's never gonna believe me?
WHY MUST U TURN MY CLASSROOM INTO A HOUSE OF LIESSS??!!
My, my duck ate Mr. Dick, I'm sorry but my duck ate my project
Back at the house....
BUURRPP! Ehhh.. next time use less rough paper 4 ur homework! It tastes much better.
Why God?

 

A Lazy Sunday
U can find me in the club.. da da da
What R U singing?
Bill educates duck about rap
Im singin' some of a rap song by 50 Cent yo!!! One of the shining rap stars.
Aha.....
This may take some time...
...
Sooooooo....ur listening 2 a song that talks about having 50 cents. I see. I'm down with that...yo.

 

When we last saw these two Bill was telling duck a little about the hip-hop culture...
...So u see, Run DMC really brought a lot 2 rap, Tupac was like a rap god, and eminem is a little annoying white boy who's gotten lucky in the rap game because of his difference.
I see.
U get it all now?
Yes, I see
Goodbye Duck...
So the M&M company now owns this...rap? Wow, candy AND music! What will they think of nexttt!!!

 

Did u here about Gatorade on the news?
No, y?
Turns out that they have been putting an illegal ingredient inside of it, sorta like a small version of steriod, that allows u an edge in sports. Bad news is it can also cause heart attacks!
Wow. Makes u think...
Where u goin'?
2 re-stock on gatorade!!! I'm all out.

 

The class is educated by Mr. Dick
So u see class, President Bush has his troops over there in Iraq fightin crime. U should all be very thankful!
So u r alright with our president having troops over in another country ruining the homes of innocent people, trying to forge oil only for the American economy 2 grow wealthier...
Any questions? Yes, Mr. Bill...
The class is educated by Mr. Bill
and spending millions of dollars against non-imminent threats overseas while many of the real terrorists lie in America?
Does any1 else have any questions? Any1 else

 

Jay Walkin'
What's green and has four wheels?
Ahhh... A Gremlin?
Nope.
Ahhh... A green Hummer?
Nope. I lied about the wheels. It's grass!!! Mwahahahahahhhhahhah!!!!!!!
I'm getting the strongest urge 2 push him in2 the road. What would Run DMC do?

 

Important Discussion
What do u think about the Simpsons? It's like cartoon history, and it's funny!
Hmmm...
Uhuh.
Well, if u want my opinion: I've always thought that the Simpsons is degrading 2 all groups of people and everybody.
But it's sooo funny, ahaha!
Cartoons are so mindless...

 

An important message from Bill and Duck.
We have an important message 2 share with all of the children out there.
That's right.
That's right.
Downloading music illegally is wrong.
That's right. So the next time ur about 2 download that new Brittany Spears song think about all of the people's jobs ur ruining. Would u like it 2 happen 2 u? Thank U for viewing this message.
For shame...For shame.
Hey, Bill? I got a friend who's sellin' the bootleg copy of the "Matrix Revolutions". Want 2 buy it with me?
SURE!!! Y not?

 

In class with Mr. Dick.
Yes, Mr. Bill?
Ahhh, a pleasant joke.
Okay. So, this pirate walks in2 a bar. The pirate has a somethin' stickin in his ass. The bartender says 2 the pirate, "What is that". The pirate says, "Yaar, this wheel is drivin me nuutts!!!".
Yes, Mr. Bill?
Ohhhh no.
LOLOLOL
Detention Mr. Bill...

 

Important discussion.
U here about this website were u can make comic strips?
No.
It's this website that let's u make ur own comics.
Ahah. Cool.
...
Yeah, it's pretty okay. I hate how they only let u talk on their forums and show ur comic if ur a donater. Kinda unfair and onesided if u think about it.
Yeah.

 
Doesn't it seem like cartoonists don't put much effort into their work?
Yeah, like leaving strips blank and not workin on backgrounds. What's up with that?

 

Hey Joe
Hey Bill
Ahh, No.
Hey, did u here about that explosion over on the west side of town?
To be continued?
!!!
It was all over the news. Said there was a duck that fell out of the explosion! Haha. Crazy, right?

 

When we last left our friend Bill, he was told by a friend that a duck had blown up in an explosion. A duck resembling...Duck!
I can't believe it...Duck is dead???!!!
Waaahhhh, why, why??
Don't u just luv it when we do this?
!!!
Hey Bill

 

 

In our last story, Bill mourned over the death of Duck. Then he found out that Duck didn't really die. Want to find out more? Read the previous comics of Bill and Duck a.k.a Duck and Bill. Yup.
So that wasn't u in the explosion?
What explosion?
Questions.
Damn it Duck, u scared me bad yo.
What explosion?
To be continued? Nawww.
There was an explosion acrossed town. A duck that looked like u died, but it obviously wasn't u man.
NOOO. It must have been my cousin Ducky D da Duck. We're the only ducks in the city. WHYYYYY?

 

Lazy day.
I don't know Daaaaveeey...
What's that purple dog???
Yeah, abcdefg
yaaaaaaaaaaay-
Quit changin the channels! Jesus, those annoying kid shows scare me more than that Gigli movie!!!
Shut it!!!

 

Hi Santa!
I ain't Santy...I'm grampy!!!!
Hi Santa!
I ain't Santy...I'm grampy!!!!
Okay, so I'm runnin' out of ideas! It happens 2 the best of us!
I ain't Santy...I'm grampy
AAAHHHH...what a wierd dream. I got 2 quit watchin barney and miracle on 31st street. O my god!!! There he is again!

 

Don't u hate it when people slip advertisements in tv shows and movies?
Yeah, it just makes me so pissy!
This cartoon is brought 2 u by the Holiday Greeting Card Company, we greet u with cheer!
What has become of our nation??? Sponsored by Budweiser!!!!
Yeah, really makes me mad... WHAT THE!!?? Duck, where the hell r u? Where am I?
Also brought 2 u by the Girl Scouts of America, have a cookie!!!

 

Bill on the job at McRonald's
Welcome 2 McRonald's, how can I help u dude.
U can help me by givin' me all of ur money in dat cash register!!!!
Just another boring day...
Holy crap!! This guy is stickin me up!
U here me!!!
...
Quit panicking! Do something!

 

When we last left Bill, he was working at McRonald's when he was told 2 give this wierd looking guy all of the restaurant's money.
I'm sorry, we haven't made no money 2day.
Come one! Gimme da money!!
Every1's goin' 2 that new Shrubway restaurant.
WHAT!!!! WHAT U TALKIN 'BOUT KID?? GIMME MY MONEY!!
Shrubway, eat very fresh.
SHRUBWAY HERE I COME!!!

 

Hey Duck, u look angry. Wasup?
I found out about this cartoon character named daffy duck.
O yeah?
Yeah!
...
Total rip-off of me!!!

 

Mr. President, what do u hope 2 accomplish in the mars research?
I am hoping that we can find the little green men lisa, once they have been found we will use them 2 generate a super army 2 attack Iraq. Mwahahah!!!
It is sometimes very hard 2 separate fact from fiction...
There u have it...

 

Important Discussion
Mann, I got the new Snoop Dogg cd, it's awesome.
I hate people like Snoop Dogg. Any1 can have a poddy mouth. If I see him I'll kick his ass!!
Would u say that 2 his face?
Hell yeah!!!
10 minutes later...
G2G
Yo, it's Snoop Doggy Dogg, foshizzle. Billydizzle told me u got beef wit' urs truly here. U got 1 damn minuzlle 2 explain urself fool!!!

 

Bill meets Mr. Dick in the street.
Ahhh, hi Mr. D
Mr. Bill....
...
...
Y don't I just leave, it's not like he wants 2 actually talk 2 me.
Y don't I just leave, it's not like he wants 2 actually talk 2 me.

 

Bill meets a girl from school while working at McRonald's.
O...hey Cindy. Wasup.
Hey Bill.
Y don't u just ask her out?
Y doesn't he just ask me out?
Soooo...how's school goin' 4 u.
Fine...

 

In the last "Bill and Duck" episode, Bill met a girl from school that he likes at McRonald's. Bill unfortunately found it hard 2 strike good conversation.
Wasup Bill?
Ahh...There's this girl at school that I like, problem is I don't know if she likes me.
So ask her out.
Duck, it ain't that easy. What if she says no? What if she says no, then I'll never live it up.
I see...so ask her out.
...goodbye Duck.

 

Star Gazing.
Check out those amazing stars
Yaahhhhh...
When u think about it...nothing compares 2 these amazing figuress.
Yaaahhhhh...
Hey, it's 7 o'clock, a new "Simpsons" is on! Let's hurry be4 we miss it!
Yeahh!!!

 

God, the ridiculous stuff people write on the internet. Green aliens, cloned babies, super sumo army people...Who do they think they're fooling?
Hey, Bill! They got that new television report of Big Foot!! Come quick!!
Yeah!!! I heard he may be in Alaska now!!!

 

Bill and Duck.
Hey, Duck? What do u think the secret 2 life is?
Hmmmm...
Revolutions
Wow.
I believe that there actually is no secret 2 life. I think that we all live in an environment which continues 2 populate itself with people. I believe after death we become part of the dark void.
Wow.

 

Unexpected visitor...
Ok, let the person in.
Hey, Bill! U got a visitor at the door.
Who could it be???
K.
THE HORROR...just joking.
O NO!!! NOT GRAMMA BILL!!!
Hello, Billy!!!

 

Granny, what r u doin' here?
Can't a grandma visit her grandson?
Yeah, lol, yeah.
Heh, heh..
What does she really want?
How am I gonna get my money out of him?

 

IN our last episode, Bill's Grandma (Grandma Bill) payed him a visit.
Sooooo...
OK LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT BILLY...GRANDMA NEEDS MONEY.
What 4?
I lost my car during da repo...
oOOO no...
GRANNY NEEDS A NEW SET OF WHEELS!

 

In our last episode, Grandma Bill asked Bill 4 some money. Quite a lot of money, in fact, 4 her "NEW SET OF WHEELS. Bill ended up giving her the money he had saved and she was able 2 buy her car.
WHAT? U actually thought that I was gonna fit all of that in2 a comic. Fine here's the last part of the new strip...
Sorry...
...And so, duck, that is how I found the real secret 2 life.
Wow. I'm so shocked. This totally changed my outlook on life. I'm sure we all learned a lot from this.

 

Duck is replaced by...a new alternative character named Pirate Guy.
Hey, Pirate Guy
Yaaaarrgghhh. Let's go slice some heads!
What is wrong with u?
Yaaaarrgghhh. No more smack talk yeee hippy!!!
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea...
I'm leaving.
Yaaaarrgghhh. Let's go slice some heads!

 

In our last comic, a new character, named Pirate Boy, was added to "Bill and Duck". The comic is now named "Bill and Pirate Guy". Pirate Guy merchandise is sold at happypirate_yaaarr.com.
Sooooo...how's life Pirate Guy?
Yahhhhrr...Piratin' ain't easy but it's necessary!!!
Okay...do any good piratin' lately?
Naahhrrrrrr...
THAT'S IT, HE'S ERASED!!!
Yahhhhrr...I'll start doin' one a them 'I can't believe it ain't butter' commercials! Yarrr

 

Starwars has soooo sold out.
I know, episode 1 and 2 were so boring!
Amen 2 that!
No kidding!
Hypocrite.
Where u going?
2 See the new trailer 4 Starwars episode 3! It's supposed 2 be awesome!

 

Bill on the job at McRonald's.
Welcome 2 McRonald's, how can I help u?
I'm from the Girl Scout's, buy a cookie!
No thanks, I don't want 2 buy a cookie.
Oh come on, just one pack 4 20 dollars!
15 minutes later...
What the hell is wrong with u??!! I don't want a cookie?
Want 2 buy 2 packs of cookies?

 

Bill and Duck meet on the street.
Hey, Duck. Wasup?
I'm leaving.
What? Where r u going? What do u mean?
I'm going 2 Reo.
...
Why???
Goodbye , Bill...

 

In the our last episode, Duck unexpectedly left Bill and traveled away 2 Rio...
...
Why do u look so sad child?
My friend left me 2 move Rio...I'm going 2 miss him so much.
THE END.
There, there. Let daddy give u some sugar.
???

 

Howdy, Mr. G. It's me, George. I sorta had a pretzel choking incident, heh heh.
Hmmmm...I don't see u on my list, sorry. Well, see you in hell!
God sends George Bush to hell.
Martha Stewart? What did u do to get sent to this hell hole?
Oh you silly boy. I'm the heir to the devil. Now let's go make some chocalate mocca cookies. It's a bad thing.
Noooooooooo!

 

Open mic night at Ray's Comedy Club. Death steps on to the stage.
Hello. I am Death. I'm here to do my duty. To take your souls to their barriel grounds!
Tell us a joke!
Okay. There was this one funny joke I heard about two priests and a janitor. Or was it a janitor and Micheal Jackson? Um...well...they walk into a bar. No, wait it was a bus station...
Get off the stage!!!

 

Bob and Bob discuss plans for world domination.
Soon we will have reached the planet Earth. There we will conquer the silly Earth beings!
Huzzah!
After we have done this we will take over. And our race will have the planet as our own.
Huzzah!
Wanna play some Playstation 2?
Huzzah!

 

How come we never share files anymore? How come we never chat?
I'm sorry. I've been swapping files with a different machine lately...
I knew it! What is it? One of those new Pentium iiii's? You always did give in to the mainstream models!
No...I'm sorry, it's uh. It's one of those new Imac's...
An Imac??!! Oh I see, your just like every other computer robot! All about the curves adn ease of use!
Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!

 

Jarod the Subway guy makes a visit to a place where he no longer is meant to be in.
Welcome to Mcdonald's, how may I help you?
*Whispers* I'll have two of those #1 meals and a shake to go. Make it quick.
Hey, aren't you that guy from those Subway ads?
Shit! How did he see through my disguise? Surely I am not noticeable with this false beard and goatee!
Sir?
*Whispers* Listen to me kid! I got the money with me, grab the stash and meet me back behind the Jiffy Lube! I got to lay low, the media people are always watchin' me maaaannn...

 

Osama Bin Laden addresses the LBG (Legion of Bad Guys).
...Congratulations to Saddam Hussein for becoming the second most hated bad guy behind me *clapping*
Thank you, thank you all. Heh, heh. I feel so honored I could almost fire off a round on this shot gun. Oh, what the hell. You only live once, eh? *fires gun*
Heh, heh. Now let's give another round of applause to Martha Stewart, she wins this years Bad Girl award. *clapping*
Thank you all very much. I owe it all to my personal investment adviser. It's a bad thing.
That's great. On a lighter note, who stole all of the counterfit hot pants in the lobby? I WANT NAMES.

 

Jesus waits in a ticket line to see "The Passion of The Christ".
Hey kid, could you cut me some slack and let me go ahead of you? I've been waiting for many years to see a movie such as this.
Sorry, no budging. You can wait to get a ticket to "The Passion of The Christ" just like everyone else.
But...Boy...That movie is ABOUT me.
You want to watch a movie about you? Isn't that a little self-centered man?
10 minutes later...
Sorry, we're all out of tickets.
To hell with this! I'm going to Home Depot to get some nail removers!

 

Jason takes a stop at the Kwik Stop.
Welcome to the Kwik Stop.
Hi, do you know where I can find Freddy? Last name Krugar, with a K.
Jason takes a stop at the Kwik Stop.
Ummm...yeah, sure. He lives over on Main Street.
???
Do you have any of those nice gardener's masks? I've been meaning to get one. There so much softer against my cheeks...

 

Bob the yodler stands on the top of an anonymous mountain...
*Yodling* Yo layhe, yo layhe, yo layhe, yo layhe hooo!
Hmmm...Yo layhe, yo layhe, yo layhe-
*Echo* I'm on my frickin' lunch break!!! Go bother something or someone else who doesn't have anything important to do. God, Jackass! Can't you just give the yodeling a damn break??!!

 

...
...
This hurts even worse than it looks.

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